Love is the Heart of Acceptance
by LilyHeartsJames
Summary: Full title: Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial. It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between.
1. Chapter 1

**Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial**

_LilyHeartsJames_

**Summary****: **_It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between. _

**Disclaimer****: **_I'm eighteen and just finished school. The last time I checked, the creator/writer of Harry Potter was a lot older than that._

**Notes****: **_Okay so I'm aware I haven't yet finished James and the Baby-Sitter, but part of this has been typed up for that long it's not funny. I just recently added a lot to it. And now I can finally unleash its power on all of you! Muhahahahahahahahahahaha!_

**Dedication****: **_**To my sister Kate, my Nan and BFF Rocket, who I think of EVERY SINGLE DAY. Rest In Peace, xoxox.**_

* * *

**] CHAPTER ONE [**

**The Alarm Clock Malfunction**

"I swear to Merlin I will kill Petunia when I go home for Christmas" Lily Kate Evans snarled under her breath as she pushed her trolley through King's Cross Station to platform checked the clock that was across the barrier and it read **10:57 AM**, indicating she had exactly three minutes to make it onto the train or she would miss it.

Three minutes. Three lousy minutes, all thanks to her sister. Her lovely, thoughtful, sinister sister.

Lily shoved her red fringe out of her almond shaped eyes and focused on the barrier that would allow her access.

Two minutes remaining now.

Lily's hands gripped harder on the handle of her trolley and all of a sudden she was running at the brick wall, hoping against hope that she would make it and get on the train and change out of her monkey patterned dark green pyjama pants. She was lucky that she had packed last night because she had only woken up five or six minutes ago.

Lily closed her eyes tightly; afraid she would crash into the barrier and not be able to gain access to the train that would take her back to the beloved castle she called home. She had grown to love and admire it so much; it was like being back in first year, not knowing what to expect or what to do.

When she next opened her emerald green eyes she found herself facing the scarlet steam engine and let out a sigh of relief.

"Lucky I got here on time" she murmured to herself but she had spoken too soon. The train began to slowly roll out of the station.

"No! No, no, no, no, no! This is not good, not good at all" she moaned as she grabbed her trunk and owl cage off the trolley. She began to drag them along behind her as she set her sights on the train which was nearing the bend, pushing past people as she went and shouted apologies behind her.

"WAIT! STOP!" she shouted out as she began to lose hope.

A boy with jet black messy hair poked his head out of the window to wave to his mother who was already gone and caught sight of the redhead. His hazel eyes widened, appearing even bigger behind his round, circular glasses.

"Shit!" he yelled and threw open the compartment door and made a giant leap onto the ground of the station, landing on his two feet and staggering slightly.

Lily stopped short and froze, staring at him with narrowed eyes.

It was too late now, the train had already rounded the bend and the pair were left staring at each other, the only ones left on the platform.

His hand instantly jumped to his hair and ruffled it, causing it to appear even messier than usual. He made his way over to the stunned seventeen year old who couldn't take her eyes off of him from sheer shock.

"Nice pyjamas" he commented, his annoying smirk making her blood boil.

"Shut it. Now tell me, Potter. What was going through your mentally challenged mind when you catapulted your body off of the train when you could have just stayed on there and told the teachers I missed it?" Lily asked in a frustrated tone and the boy shrugged; his muscles noticeable in his white singlet. She ignored them and crossed her arms over her chest.

He cocked his head to the side and gave her his charming, toothy smile.

"That brings out your eyes, you know" he murmured, nodding at her lime green singlet.

"Thank- I mean, I know. Now are you going to enlighten me or not?" she asked tapping her foot impatiently.

"I thought you were going to miss the train and I figured I might as well help you with your fashionably late entrance" he told her with a wink and she rolled her eyes.

"Well thanks to you, now we're both stranded here without a way to Hogwarts. Real smooth, Pothead" she snapped and he just shrugged again.

"Well I'm sorry for trying to be of assistance. I'll be on my way then" he replied turning and walking over to the edge of the platform.

"Where are you going?" Lily demanded and James turned back to face her.

"To Hogwarts. In case you haven't noticed, both Head Boy and Girl are missing and there's no one to give the Prefects their orders. Better late than never" he answered and she frowned.

"You're walking?"

He sighed and walked back over to her.

"Yeah, I am. Are you coming or are you just going to wait around until next September and repeat your seventh year?"

Lily huffed loudly and pulled out her wand, a piece of parchment, a quill and a bottle of ink.

"At least that's all that's stopping me. With your track record you'll be expelled by the second day" she snarled and pointed her wand at her trunk.

She shrunk it and then James picked it up and put it in his pocket.

"What do you think you're doing?" she snapped and he raised his eyebrows.

"I was going to carry it for you. It doesn't look like you have any pockets to put it in" he responded and she sighed.

"Fine. I'll send a note with Jelly Bean to Roxanne. She'll worry otherwise" she said indicating for him to turn around so she could write on his back.

He obliged and she scribbled down a quick short note and James sneaked a peak before she handed it to Jelly Bean who took it in his claws.

_**Roxanne,**_

_**Don't freak out. I missed the train and Pothead tried to be a hero and jump off to save me as if I'm some Damsel in Distress. Now we're stranded. See you at the Castle when we get there. **__**IF**__** we do.**_

_**Lily**_

_**P.S**_

_**Please have Lupin give the Prefects their duties and responsibilities for me.**_

"Oh, nice" he commented and she smirked to herself.

"Now have this read by Roxanne and stay on the train with her, she'll take care of you" she told her caramel coloured owl who hooted and then took flight. He soared high into the sky and disappeared amongst the clouds. She then pointed her wand at the quill, ink and owl cage and with one flick they too disappeared.

"Ready?" James asked and she strode off towards the barrier. James hurried ahead and jumped down before her. He held his arms out to help her and she glared at him.

"I can do it myself" she assured him indignantly, and to prove her point she hopped down with ease, and almost toppled over but James quickly caught her from behind.

He set her back up onto her feet and she brushed herself off and cleared her throat.

"See?"

James couldn't help but smile as she stormed ahead and he jogged to catch up to her, only too happy to be spending quality time with the object of his desire.

* * *

After walking for three hours in silence, Lily paused and sighed.

"This is taking forever!" she grumbled and James stopped and turned to face her, wiping sweat off of his face. He rested his hands on his knees and bent over forwards, catching his breath. His grey track pants were making his legs sweaty.

She glanced at him at the same time he looked up at her and their eyes met.

"Do you want to stop for lunch?" James asked and she nodded, averting her eyes and looking around at the small country side village.

"There's a shop down the road" she pointed out and he straightened up and began walking again.

"Why were you late anyway?" he asked and she rolled her eyes.

"My sister pulled the plug on my alarm clock. She did it on purpose because I wouldn't get off the phone with Alice; she wanted to talk to her pet whale" she spat and James gave her an odd look.

"Your sister has a pet whale?"

Lily grimaced.

"Her boyfriend. He's large enough to be one, he has to walk sideways to get through doors" she replied with a small chuckle but stopped quickly. She wasn't allowed to enjoy let alone have conversation with Potter; that was just insane.

"He sounds lovely" he replied dryly and Lily shook her head and didn't say anything. They entered the shop and the silence hit her hard the moment she closed the door. It was eerie. There was no one at the counter and the shop seemed completely empty.

She made her way to the counter and rang the bell but no one answered and there was no sign of the shop keeper.

She turned to see James browsing for food and she made her way over.

"I think we should leave" she muttered in his ear and he turned his head and frowned at her.

"Why? I thought you were hungry?"

"It's too quiet" she replied and he glanced up and caught sight of a small mirror over the counter and saw a body lying behind it bound in ropes.

"There's someone behind there" he whispered and her eyes widened as she too looked in the same direction. James' hand inched towards his pocket and slowly pulled out his wand, but just as he was about to explore the shop, someone shouted; "STUPEFY!"

Lily shrieked as a jet of red light flew from the other side of the shop and James dived onto the ground pulling Lily with him. He ended up lying on top of her and he froze, staring at her. She inched down into the side of her pyjama pants and pulled out her wand and he silently rolled off of her.

He crouched behind the aisle, glancing up into the mirror to see their attacker.

A masked man was standing behind a wall, peeking out and then pulling his head back behind it.

James motioned for Lily to hide and she crept over to the fridges where the drinks were stored. Her teeth chattered as the coldness of the section overwhelmed her and she glanced up into the mirror and saw the man look out from behind the wall again.

She aimed her wand and was about to shout a curse but he beat her to it and as quick as a flash she opened the first fridge door as a shield and the spell hit it, cracking the glass. She moved back to the second one and James sent a stunning spell at the man who dodged it.

Lily aimed at the mirror; sure she would be able to get the man if her spell ricocheted off of it.

"Expelliarmus!" she shouted and her spell shot at the mirror and as expected it hit it, rebounded and hit the man straight in the chest. His wand soared through the air and James jumped up and caught it, making his way over to the Wizard.

Lily followed close behind and the Wizard stared at them for a second before Apperating.

James swore and then faced Lily.

"Let's get out of here in case he comes back" he suggested and she nodded.

They hurried out and glanced around before James grabbed her hand and pulled her down an alleyway.

"Potter, what-"

"Shush! Put this on" he cut in and pulled something light and translucent from his pocket.

She obeyed and he threw it over them and she gasped.

"What is it?"

"An invisibility cloak" he responded and glanced out of the alleyway before making his way out. She followed behind in awe, hating herself for it but couldn't help it. It was a rare piece of material after all.

"Where did you get it?"

"That's not important. Lower your voice, just because we can't be seen doesn't mean we can't be heard" he muttered and she became silent at once.

They travelled past more shops and houses until they reached a long road where the village stopped and there were only paddocks full of sheep and cows. James didn't lift the cloak until the village had completely disappeared behind them.

"Why do you think that guy was there?" she asked and James glanced at her with a puzzled expression.

"I don't know; but he was a Death Eater. I saw his mark when he hit the fridge with the same spell you got him with. I have no idea why it had to be at that particular shop though" he answered, his eyebrows frowning darkly.

Lily sighed and pushed her fringe out of her eyes.

"I can't believe this is happening. I'm supposed to be telling the Prefects what they need to know. I don't even know who Head Boy is" she grumbled and James stopped and grabbed her arm.

"Lily, I'm Head Boy. I told you before" he explained and she sniggered.

"Don't be silly, Potter. Who would make you Head Boy?" she asked going into a fit of laughter and James raised his eyebrows.

"Dumbledore" he answered amidst her raucous giggles which ceased when she realised he wasn't giving her his annoying smirk or laughing with her. Her smile fell and the severity of the situation hit her.

"You can't be. You have more detentions than girls Sirius has ever been with, and that's saying something" she replied, pleased with comeback.

"That's true, but regardless, I'm Head Boy. I got the letter" he told her and she rolled her eyes.

"Well obviously someone pranked you, and they did a good job of it if you actually believe you're Head Boy" she told him and he shook his head.

"I know it's hard to handle, but you're just going to have to take my word for it. There's nothing you or I can do about it, so you're just going to have to deal with it".

She shook her head.

"Very funny, Potter. And you thought I would actually believe you" she said chortling and James ran a hand through his hair frustratedly.

"For Christ's sake, **I AM HEAD BOY!**" he exclaimed and her eyes widened at his change of tone. They stood their quietly, both their eyes glaring into the others and James was the first to speak.

"Lily, I wouldn't lie to you" he told her reassuringly but she just raised an eyebrow.

"I don't trust you, Potter. I wouldn't know if you were lying to me or not" she answered softly and saw the hurt flicker across his hazel eyes. James cleared his throat and turned away from her, not wanting her to see the pain shooting from his heart. His eyes would betray him otherwise.

He started walking again and Lily followed, the silence between them was cold and awkward, it made her feel as though they were walking on thin ice.

Her emerald eyes glanced over at him, wondering if he was crying or not.

She shook her head.

Of course he wasn't crying; this was Potter after all. He didn't really care about her; he only thought of her as another girl to woo. Besides, he was one of those macho guys who tried not to let anything upset them; the only thing that hurt was his bruised ego.

Lily was about to open her mouth and tell him to suck it up when Jelly Bean began flying towards her with a scroll attached to his feet. He screeched in warning and Lily held out her arm so that he could safely rest upon it. James stopped and turned around and began untying the scroll and when he was successful he unrolled it and began to read.

_**Lily,**_

_**ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!**_

_**APPARATE TO HOGSMEADE!**_

_**Roxanne**_

_**P.S.**_

_**Remus is taking care of the Prefects**_

_**:)**_

James suddenly snorted and Lily's eyes narrowed at him.

"What?" she snapped and James shrugged.

"I'm just wondering why we never thought of it" he explained and passed the parchment to her.

Her eyes scanned over it quickly and then flicked up to James' face.

"We need to Apparate" she murmured and he nodded slowly.

"The Three Broomsticks?" he asked and she nodded slowly and then turned to Jelly Bean.

"Fly to Hogwarts, Jelly. Rest up in the Owlery" she commanded and then he whipped back his wings and flapped them madly, taking flight into the skies above.

"You talk to him as though he's human" James commented and she ignored him.

"The Three Broomsticks" she reminded him and then turned left on the spot and she was gone.

James sighed and he repeated what she had done and he disappeared from the countryside.

* * *

Lily only waited a few seconds for James to appear in front of her and the moment his feet hit the ground she turned and strode off towards the school. He shook his head and followed after her, running yet again to catch up.

It was late afternoon, and the Hogwarts Express wouldn't be there until nightfall. That meant she had to spend the remainder of the day with James. And she didn't like that one bit.

She let out a small, indignant huff and continued walking until she got to the gates.

"Great, we're locked out" she muttered and James aimed his wand at the gates.

"_Alohamora!" _

Lily let out a loud snort.

"Yeah, because _Alohamora _is going to get us through to the castle. Honestly, Potter; have you not read _Hogwarts: A History_?"

James glowered at her and then pointed his wand through the gate.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_

A silvery translucent stag burst from the tip of his wand and galloped through the grounds. Lily stood there, her mouth ajar as she was once again amazed despite her disgust at the feeling.

"Wow. I mean, where did you learn to do that?" she asked, quickly changing her impressed tone. She didn't want to give Potter something to brag about to his friends.

He shrugged.

"Remus; he's very skilled at Defence Against the Dark Arts" he admitted and suddenly a huge figure began making their way towards them, his wild black hair and beard waving in the wind.

Lily's heart lifted as she spotted her close friend and Hogwarts Grounds Keeper -

"HAGRID!" James shouted and began waving excitedly towards him.

Lily glared at him before turning her attention back towards the half-giant.

"James? Lily? What are yeh doin' here? It's a bit early" he exclaimed and Lily noticed him pull his umbrella from underneath his cloak and began tapping at the gates, murmuring quietly to himself.

"Long story, we missed the train" Lily told him as he finished the enchantments and stepped back to allow them through.

Hagrid chuckled and began replacing the spells to the gates before turning and following them towards the castle.

"How was yeh summer than?"

James grinned and turned around and began walking backwards, his hands in his pockets.

"It was great, I met the entire Tornadoes team and even had a private flying lesson with them" he told the Grounds Keeper smugly and Lily rolled her eyes. Here was the real Potter, bragging about everything he did.

James caught sight of Lily's expression and ran his hands through his messy hair, causing her to grimace. She hated when he did that. She couldn't stand it.

"Ex'lent. And yeh, Lily?"

She shrugged.

"It could have been better, could have been worse" she replied and Hagrid's beetle blacks eyes watched her closely.

"Yeh sister give yeh any trouble?"

She let out a groan.

"This morning she unplugged my alarm clock, hence the reason we missed the train" she answered and Hagrid raised his bushy eyebrows.

"Potter too?"

"No, he felt like being a hero and jumped off the train before it left the station" she explained and Hagrid shook his head.

"Yeh always gotta be helpin' people" he added winking at James who smiled back.

"Well it was either that or let Evans find her own way" he explained and looked at Lily who wasn't looking to happy.

"I would have preferred it" she muttered to herself.

"What was that Evans?"

She glared at him.

"Shut it, Pothead" she snapped and Hagrid chuckled.

"Well I bes' be off ter me cabin. See yeh both at the feast" he said as they reached the lake and he strode off in the opposite direction towards the forest.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Evans. All day" James reminded her with a smirk and she groaned.

The train better speed up and get Roxanne and Alice to Hogwarts as quickly as possible or else she might end up killing Potter or jumping off of the Astronomy Tower.

* * *

By the time the Hogwarts Express reached Hogwarts and a majority of the students had made it into the castle Lily was about ready to throw herself off of the Astronomy Tower.

James had tortured her all day, telling her he wasn't going to give her back her trunk so that the entire school would see her in her pyjamas. He followed her everywhere. He kept saying her name over and over again in an annoying sing song voice. He kept ruffling his hair in order to mess it up even more (if he was capable, it was quite messy as it was). He invited her to join him in every single broom cupboard they walked past and he kept talking non-stop about his summer.

When Lily had finally had enough, she turned around told him that if he didn't give her back her trunk and didn't leave a five mile radius between them she would hex his private parts into smithereens.

James' face turned pale and she got her wish and snatched her trunk from him and found her way into the closest female toilets she could find and got changed into her school uniform, pinning her Head Girl badge to her shirt. She then pointed her wand at her wavy red hair and it became untangled and she left it cascading down her shoulders.

When she emerged James was leaning against the wall whistling and she frowned at him.

"I thought I told you-"

"The rest of the school has arrived" he interrupted and Lily let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank Merlin" she muttered and pocketed her wand and her trunk that she had once again made smaller and hurried down into the hall with Potter following closely behind.

"LILY EVANS!"

Lily's eyes immediately found the source of the scream; her best friend, Roxanne Scott wading through the crowd of students towards them, her dark jet black long hair tied back into a high ponytail and her side fringe bouncing just above her electric blue eyes as she forced her way over.

"You had me worried" she exclaiming dragging her redheaded friend into a tight hug.

"I sent you a letter" Lily told her and Roxanne shrugged in reply.

"Doesn't make me worry any less; you were stranded out in the wilderness with this mad person" she responded and pointed at James.

"Hey!" he protested.

"PRONGS! I MISSED YOU!"

There was no mistaking that squeal. It could be none other than Sirius Black, with hair as silky and shiny as ever.

His coal black hair blew behind him as he set his warm, light grey eyes on his target and almost bowled Potter over without so much as a warning.

"Padfoot, get off of me. I spend every day with you" James bellowed and Sirius chuckled as he helped his friend onto his feet and straightened out his hair, patting it down smoothly.

"Oh, and by the way. Thanks for leaving me with Black and Pettigrew" Roxanne snapped at Lily who gave her a guilty smile and shrug.

"It wasn't my fault; it was-"

"Petunia?"

"As always" Lily answered darkly and Roxanne shook her head.

"That girl doesn't know when to stop, does she?"

Lily sighed in response.

"She can't help herself, she's pure evil" she explained and Roxanne linked arms with Lily and dragged her away into the Great Hall, leaving James surrounded by his friends.

* * *

"Tuck in" were the magical words of Albus Dumbledore who stood before the school beaming at them.

Lily reached for every food possible; considering how she'd missed breakfast, lunch on the train, and missed lunch at the shop because she'd been randomly attacked by a Death Eater; she was literally starving.

"Wow, slow down Lils. You'll have a heart attack" Roxanne told her, eyeing her friend with an odd glance. Lily had never been so into the food at Hogwarts; she was almost as bad as the Marauders.

Well not almost, she thought glancing at Black, Potter and their chubby little friend Pettigrew as they dug into their foods like vacuum cleaners. But she was eating a lot more than usual.

"Roxy, she missed lunch" Alice Taylor, their friend reminded her. Alice had light brown eyes and mousy brown shoulder length hair and was also watching the redhead with worry.

"Guys, I'm fine. I'm just really hungry" Lily assured them in between mouthfuls.

Down the table, Sirius and James were discussing Quidditch.

"I fink we 'ood do twials soon as 'ossible" Sirius demanded, flecks of food flying from his mouth and hitting Remus Lupin's plate, who crinkled his nose in disgust.

James nodded vigorously.

"Exactoly. I'll twy 'o book the pitch earwee" he answered and shovelled more food into his mouth, both not noticing the girls and Remus glaring at them.

"That is _so_ disgusting" Marlene McKinnon, a girl who shared their dormitory and was another friend remarked and turned away from them.

Lily looked at Remus and caught his chocolate brown eyes and smiled at him, and he returned the gesture causing James to look on jealously. Remus' shaggy honey coloured hair was dangerously hanging in his eyes, as though he hadn't cut it in weeks.

"Really, Remus; you ought to let me give it a trim" Dorcas Meadows, yet another friend of the girls begged him and he chuckled.

"If it helps you sleep peacefully" he told her and she beamed at him.

"Honestly, how do you expect to see the notes on the boards in classes?" she asked and he shrugged.

"After dinner, I'll find my scissors and meet you in the Common Room?"

He nodded in reply and she turned back to Marlene who was her best friend. Marlene had long dark brown hair that she kept out of her face and light blue grey eyes. Dorcas on the other hand had long blonde hair she kept in plaits and braids with a front fringe above her eyebrows, and her eyes were olive green.

"It feels like it's been ages since we met up at Diagon Alley" Marlene muttered and Lily glanced up at her.

"I know it feels like it took place months ago" she said and Marlene sighed.

"I really missed you guys. This year, we've got to get Operation Payback on the Marauders" she added in a whisper and Lily smirked evilly, glancing up at James who was busy telling Remus all about their trip to the castle.

"I'm definitely in on this one" she added and the rest of them stared at her with wide eyes. Dorcas actually dropped her fork into her plate and food splattered everywhere, but they ignored it. Alice opened and closed her mouth several times.

"Lily Evans! You're Head Girl! And not to mention, you _always _looked down on that sort of behaviour" Alice murmured and the redhead shrugged in return.

"Yeah, but this is our last year. Think about everything they've done to make our lives hell. And who said we'd get caught?"

"Yeah, I get your point. Subtly; and let's not make it just one big thing, let's make it about a hundred little things" Marlene added with a snigger.

"Girls, I now declare war" Roxanne piped up and they all grinned at one another. The Marauders had no idea what was coming to them.

* * *

"Now as I said Quidditch tryouts will be held next week; give your names to your Head of House and this will all be arranged. Remember, first years are not permitted.

"Also, the Forbidden Forrest, as I've said for many years, is out of bounds to _all_ students."

Was is just her, or did Lily see Dumbledore incline his head towards the Marauders, who were all grinning mischievously at one another?

"If there are any problems, direct them towards the new Head Boy and Girl; James Potter and Lily Evans-"

Dumbledore was interrupted as three of the four houses erupted into cheers and Lily blushed deeply and hid her face behind her hands and Alice patted her shoulder comfortingly. No one had ever applauded the Head Boy and Girl, and Lily had a feeling it was all to do with Potter and his popularity. She looked up and saw him smirking at everyone and rolled her eyes. Of course, it was all going to straight to his head like always.

"Ahem. Now, you've had quite a big day so off you trot, your beds await" Dumbledore added and the scraping of chairs was heard amongst the entire hall as everyone hurried to get out the doors fastest.

"First years, follow me! First years!" a blonde girl with braces called out. Lily had no idea who the Prefects were as she had missed the train, but it appeared to be Madeline Jenks and from what she could see, Tony Keeler; a boy with short cropped brown hair.

She too stood from the tables and made her way out of the Great Hall with her friends, all laughing and chatting about the holidays they hadn't spoke of. While Marlene bragged of her summer romance over in Italy, Lily got distracted by Dumbledore and James who were standing over in a corner. Upon meeting her eyes, James indicated for her to join them and she sighed, interrupting Marlene's story.

"I'm so sorry, but I've got to go, Dumbledore wants to talk to me. I'll see you in the Common Room" she promised and they said goodbye and she made her way over.

"Ah, Miss. Evans. A lovely pleasure. Now, before you leave I must warn you that this year we're taking a different approach. We are giving the Head Boy and Girl their personal quarters and common room behind the portrait of Frederick the Forlorn. You may make up your own password as you please" he instructed and Lily's eyes almost bugged out of her head as she stood there gaping at him.

"Professor, may I ask you why?" James asked and Dumbledore smiled that knowing twinkle in his eyes.

"Why, to encourage the Head Boy and Girl to form a bond" he explained and James suddenly grinned at Lily who ignored him.

"Now, if either of you have any enquiries than you may address either myself, or your Head of House" he assured them and they each nodded and he bade them goodnight, striding away with his midnight blue robes flowing behind him.

"Well, it looks like we'll be living together this year, Evans" James told her with a smug tone to his voice.

Lily's eyes darted to his own and she glared ferociously at him.

"Yeah, because I really need you driving me crazy every second of the day" she snapped and stormed off with him on her heels.

"Oh come on Evans, lighten up. It's our last year. At least be a little excited you get to spend all your time with me" he begged and she suddenly stopped and turned to face him.

"I'm jumping for joy, Potter" she said tonelessly and he rolled his eyes.

"Oh well don't conceal it for my sake" he replied dryly and she sighed and they made their way to the portrait in silence. When they did make it however, there was one more hurdle.

"I want the password to be Squiggly Piggly" James pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Potter" Lily snarled through gritted teeth. "The password is not going to be 'Squiggly Piggly'. We aren't five anymore."

"Who said anything about age? And besides, can you come up with another one?"

"Chocolate frogs. There; it's easy and quick to say" she replied and he snorted.

"If it's going to be easy then anyone can guess it. Besides, anyone who observes you closely would know that chocolate frogs are your favourite desert" he added and Lily raised her eyebrows at him.

"Not everyone stalks me like you do, Potter" she responded heatedly and he sighed, looking to the portrait for help.

"Who's right?" he asked and Frederick, a man with short, parted brown hair, a black toothbrush moustache and royal blue robes looked from one to the other, a miserable look upon his face.

"Chocolate frogs is one of the most common" he droned and avoided Lily's glare.

She let out a huff.

"Fine! Let it be Squiggly Piggly for all I care!" she burst out angrily and the portrait swung open and she stormed through, James entering behind her doing a victory dance.

"Night Lily" he called out and received a rude hand gesture in reply.

He chuckled to himself. This was definitely going to be an interesting year.

* * *

**A/N: And there it is. Reviews? YES PLEASE. I want to know what you guys think.**

**I have another story (James and the Baby-Sitter) that I've been writing for a while now so I'm going to focus on that for a bit longer but it shouldn't be too long; it's getting to the point where soon enough, it needs to be wrapped up. And then I will find my way back to this story, I promise.**

**But please, please let me know what you think. Should I continue it, should I drop it; you tell me. **

**Love always,**

**LilyHeartsJames **

**Xoxoxoxoxoxox :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial**

_LilyHeartsJames_

**Summary: **_It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between. _

**Disclaimer: **If I told you I created Harry Potter then you wouldn't believe me; 'cause everyone knows J.K Rowling did it. Unless you've been living under a rock :P

**Dedication: **_**AnnaxStoney**_- My first reviewer :D Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! :)

**Notes: ** Thank you all so much for reviewing, favouriting and alerting. I really hope people will come back to this story and find more chapters awaiting them. And here you guys go. Thanks heaps, I appreciated it! :D

* * *

**] CHAPTER TWO [**

_**First Day Back**_

Lily awoke to a bright and early morning and snuggled up closer to her pillow, bringing her blankets up to her chin. She was back at Hogwarts; away from her snobby sister and her horrible boyfriend and was sleeping in her amazing four poster bed in Gryffindor Tower with her best friends surrounding her.

Lily was half tempted to wake up and start jumping on all of their beds but a knock at the door caused her eyes to snap open and she sat up abruptly, taking in the room around her that was much smaller than the seventh year girls' dormitory and there was only one bed. And she was currently occupying it.

She jumped up, slipped her feet into her fluffy rainbow slippers and made her way over to the door and wrenched it open, only to be met by none other than James Potter.

"Oh, it's you" she spat and the look on his face irritated her even further. She wanted nothing more than to wipe that annoying smirk off of his face.

"Good morning, Evans. Considering you slept in and was late for the train yesterday I took it upon myself to wake you up today" he announced in a proud voice and she rolled her eyes.

"One, my sister isn't here to be a cow and cause my alarm clock to not work and two, I was already awake. I don't need your help" she snapped and James shrugged and continued to smile at her.

"You're welcome by the way. I'll see you at breakfast. Nice slippers" he added with a wink and turned and strolled out of the Common room, the portrait slowly swinging shut behind him.

Lily ignored her beetroot red cheeks and shut her door ruthlessly and turned back to her wardrobe and began pulling out her uniform, ready for the day ahead.

* * *

"Lily! I cannot believe you get your own common room and living quarters. You are _sooo_ lucky!" Dorcas exclaimed, sighing into the palm of her hand.

Lily crinkled her nose in disgust.

"I wouldn't call living with Potter for the entire year lucky" she responded and glared at the messy haired boy who was spreading marmalade onto his toast and talking to Remus and Peter about the classes they were taking. He must have felt a pair of eyes on him because he glanced up and his sparkling hazel eyes caught Lily's and a smirk swept across his face as she hastily lifted her gaze and narrowed her eyes at the butter instead.

Alice and Marlene noticed this exchange and smiled at one another knowingly and Roxanne rolled her eyes.

"Well like it or not; you're stuck with him. You might as well try to get along" she told her, her tone seeming bored and Lily's glare turned to her best friend who seemed not to care about receiving the well-known look feared by many people at the school.

"Getting along with Potter seems less inviting than suicide" Lily snarled and Roxanne sighed unsympathetically.

"Stop being dramatic, Evans. You've been working towards this Headship for years; don't let him getting on your wrong side screw it up for you. He only wants reactions out of you and you give them to him; it's what entertains him. Just ignore him" she explained and passed her a piece of toast with strawberry jam spread onto it.

Lily sighed and took it, thanking her friend gratefully. She was right; all Potter wanted to do was annoy her, that's why he always wore that annoying smirk in her presence, that was why he was a constant smartarse, and that also was why he asked her out continuously. He was waiting for her to crack. And she wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"McGonagall incoming" Marlene muttered and they all raised their eyes to find their Head of House striding along the Gryffindor table, handing out time tables to each student and stopping once every so often to answer a question or remind students not to be late.

Professor McGonagall was not a teacher to cross with; she was very strict, and a majority of the time spoke in a stern tone. Her dark grey hair was always tied back into a tight, constricted bun and on some days, was lurking underneath a pointed hat. She had a very brisk walk and wore a pair of small squared glasses. Behind these, were very meticulous, suspicious narrowed eyes always roaming about for trouble amongst the student body. She could sense a dilemma, nuisance or hassle from a mile away.

"Here are your time-tables, ladies. Miss. Evans, I heard about what arose yesterday. Is everything sorted?" she asked, bustling along towards them and handing them their time-tables.

"Everything is fine Professor; it won't happen again" Lily replied matter of factly. She would be having a chat to Petunia the moment she was home.

"I should hope not; it does not do for a Head Girl to be unorganised on her first day" McGonagall answered in a scrupulous tone and then carried on to the next group of students leaving Lily to sigh inwardly.

Marlene let out a loud yawn as Sirius Black strutted casually past her, flicking his hair over his shoulder and humming a low, positive tune to himself.

"Morning lads!" he greeted his fellow Marauders who moved along the bench to allow room for him to join them.

"When we left you fifteen minutes ago, you were standing in front of the mirror staring at yourself. Please tell me there's no crack in the mirror after you stood there making ugly faces at yourself?" James commented and Sirius punched him on the shoulder.

"Shut up; I was making sure my facial expressions matched my hair" he responded heatedly and Remus cleared his throat behind the Daily Prophet, choosing not to say anything.

"Sod off, Moony" Sirius snapped and James chuckled as Sirius pulled a bowl of porridge towards him and began shovelling it down, letting flecks of porridge fly everywhere as the girls and Remus gave him disgusted looks.

Roxanne grimaced as she turned to the girls and muttered something and Lily and Alice sniggered together as Marlene let out a groan and poured herself and Dorcas a glass each of orange juice. She then glanced at her friend and caught her blushing darkly.

Marlene raised her eyebrows at her and before she could ask, a seventh year Ravenclaw strolled past with his friends and caught Dorcas' eye and smiled at her.

As Dorcas stared back at him with bright red cheeks and a huge grin, her had that was holding her glass slipped and orange juice dripped all down the front of her robes causing her to squeal in surprise.

The boy tried not to laugh out of politeness, and instead turned to his friends and began talking animatedly with them while Dorcas held back tears of embarrassment.

"Look at me; I'm a mess! And we've only got five minutes until our first class!" she wailed, and Lily stood up and put her hands on her shoulders to calm her down.

"I'll take care of it" she promised and whipped her wand out of her pocket and with a flick; Dorcas' uniform was even cleaner than before.

"Oh, thank you Lily! I don't know what came over me, I'll-"

Marlene shook her head as she remembered her blushing friend staring at the boy with short, golden blonde hair and shiny blue/purple eyes that had previously left the hall. She chuckled quietly to herself. Dorcas had always been awkward around boys that she liked; and as her best friend, Marlene knew in an instant when this occurred.

"We'd better head off, we have Charms first with the Ravenclaws" she said and Marlene's eyes lit up mischievously. If that boy took Charms with them, she would somehow work out a way to get him and Dorcas talking to each other. Some way or another.

Roxanne stood from the table, pulling her back pack with her and slung it over her shoulders ready to head off to Charms with her friends who bustled to join her. They were about to leave when Sirius called out her name and she muttered to herself before turning and narrowing her eyes at him.

"What do you want Black?"

He smiled sweetly at her.

"What are you doing this weekend? Besides me?"

She opened her mouth to yell a stream of mixed swearwords at him when Alice clapped her hand over her mouth and Lily answered for her.

"She's busy with important things" she snapped and everyone around her laughed sneeringly and Sirius glared at her.

"I wasn't talking to you, Evans."

Lily shrugged.

"Good. Don't bother starting to either" she replied and turned on her heel and pulled Roxanne by the elbow with Alice on the other side of her, assisting her.

"I swear if I get a hold of him…" Roxanne trailed off and mumbled under her breath insanely until they reached the door of the Charms classroom and entered together with Dorcas and Marlene leading them inside.

* * *

First class wasn't the best, although it was with a house Gryffindor got along well with.

Mainly due to the Marauders, who were being pests towards the girls all but Remus who was conversing with Roxanne who tried her best to ignore Sirius tugging her hair from behind.

Lily was sitting beside Alice, and was blatantly glaring at James who took to staring at her in a bid to annoy her. Lily, who was not one to give up anything, dares included, glared right back at him not wanting to be the first to look away.

Unfortunately, Professor Flitwick picked up on this and caused Lily to go bright red and admit defeat.

"Miss. Evans and Mr. Potter, if you do not stop making goo-goo eyes or whatever lovey dovey looks you adolescents do these days I will put you both into detention" he squeaked, and Lily almost yelled indignantly at him, wanting nothing more than to tell him she would never look at Potter in such a way.

Regrettably, she was not one to back chat with teachers and turned her glare to the window outside instead, her cheeks a blazing red.

"Stupid Potter…" she mumbled to herself and heard Alice's chuckle and her friend patted her hand kindly.

"Just ignore him, Lils. Remember what Roxy said this morning? He's trying to get you to fire up at him. Just pretend he doesn't even exist" she advised and Lily rolled her eyes in an annoyed fashion.

"That's easier said than done" she snarled as he tossed a scrunched up piece of paper at her head when Flitwick's back was turned. "He is _so_ immature."

Alice nodded in agreement and they began copying down notes from the board while the teacher gave them the N.E. talk they had all been dreading.

"IF YOU DON'T STOP PULLING MY HAIR I WILL-"

"Miss. Scott, is there a problem?" Flitwick interrupted turning to face the class.

"Black keeps pulling my hair, sir" she answered before Sirius could beat her to it.

Flitwick raised his eyebrows at them both and then sighed, rubbing his temple in a frustrated manner.

"Mr. Black, collect your books and move to the front beside Miss. Sibbons" he commanded and Sirius groaned as he grabbed all of his things and as he walked past Roxanne and Remus' desk, he murmured; "this isn't over" so that only they could hear.

He threw his books onto the desk and slumped down beside the slightly obese girl who grinned toothily at him and he winced. Megan Sibbons wore braces and her face was full of acne. She wasn't exactly someone he enjoyed being in the company of. He pushed his pencil case into a comfy position and leaned on it; drowning out Flitwick's speech about their final year and being role models to the younger students as he glanced outside the window and allowed his thoughts to take over.

* * *

Roxanne was sick. Not ill sick, but sick of Sirius Black continuously throwing daggers at her over his shoulder whenever she glanced up at the board, causing her to grind her finger nails on the desk which made Remus cringe every time.

Dorcas kept looking over at the boy she'd seen in the morning, and thought no one was noticing. Except for Marlene, Alice and Lily. She hastily looked back down at her book, smiling to herself.

She'd seen him over the holidays in the bookshop getting his required books (what else did you buy from a bookstore?) and had hidden behind the shelf, peeking through the books at him, hoping he wouldn't notice. She didn't know his name, although he looked very familiar to her.

She heard Marlene clear her throat beside her and she looked at her questioningly.

"What?"

Marlene shook her head and scribbled something out in her book.

"Nothing. You seem… Happy that's all" she noted and Dorcas shrugged in reply.

"It's good to be back. I've missed all of this" she murmured with a small smile and Marlene sniggered.

"You mean Lily getting angry at James, James trying to seduce Lily daily with different techniques, Roxanne being at war with Sirius, Sirius being at war with Roxanne one day, chasing after her the next? Oh and Remus reading book after book after book in the common room, Peter following Alice around as though he's glued to her, you being attracted to that cute Ravenclaw guy over there…"

Dorcas nodded at every single one of them, and it wasn't until she'd written down another sentence that she realised the last thing that was said.

"I don't, I mean, I'm not, I-I I don't, I-"

"You have a little crush, Dorcy?" she pressed on and Dorcas shook her head swiftly.

"Don't call me that. I don't know what you're talking about" she answered and Marlene coughed loudly, causing the Ravenclaw student to turn around and look at them with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, excuse me. I've got a cold" Marlene explained and he nodded, giving her a smile and turning back to the front.

She turned to Dorcas and said in a low whisper, "If you don't like him then why are you grinning wildly? Why did you spill orange juice all over your front when he walked past and smiled at you? Why have you been trying and failing to make it unobvious you've been staring at him all morning?"

Dorcas opened and closed her mouth continuously and then suddenly blushed darkly.

"Is it really that obvious?" she hissed and Marlene nodded.

"Only to me" she answered and Dorcas sighed in response.

"Oh, and Lily and Alice noticed too" she added with a smirk and Dorcas groaned.

"I am so uncool" she muttered and Marlene shook her head at her.

"You are not, you're just awkwardly cute. Now, get ready to talk to him" she instructed and snatched Dorcas' quill and threw it at the Ravenclaw in front, hitting him squarely in the back.

Dorcas gasped out loud, staring at her friend in surprise.

"Marlene! How could-"

"Excuse me? Does this belong to you, by any chance?"

Dorcas turned to the boy in front who was grinning at her and holding out her quill.

She opened and closed her mouth wordlessly, making his smile falter.

Marlene stomped on her foot under the table and Dorcas cleared her throat.

"Oh, um… Yes, it is. It… Err, slipped out of my hand" she said lamely and he passed it back to her, his fingers grazing her palm. She tried to appear as though she hadn't stopped breathing, but it seemed as though her heart had caught inside her chest and stopped working for a second before beating back into work.

"Th-thank you" she said shakily and he winked at her, making her cheeks go bright red.

"I'm Ben by the way. Ben Wood" he declared, shaking his hand. Dorcas was busy staring at him and Marlene shook her head.

"She's Dorcas, and I'm-"

"Marlene, I know" he answered for her and she was taken aback, not expecting this adapt knowledge he had of her.

"Nice to meet you' she said smiling at him and he grinned back and shook her hand as well.

"You too. Dorcas" he added, nodding at her and turning back to the black board.

Dorcas turned to Marlene, a huge, giddy smile on her face.

She waved her hands around animatedly before picking her quill back up and beginning to write, with a new formed energetic bounce to her note taking.

Marlene grinned as she too began taking more notes.

* * *

"I have never wanted to commit murder so severely before in my life until now" Roxanne snarled as they stormed down into the dungeons for potions. With the Slytherins. Just to brighten their already gloomy day.

Lily trailed along beside her, wallowing in her self-pity.

"I hate to say it; but I agree" she answered sombrely and Roxanne snorted rudely.

"Lies, you love to say it. You just won't admit it because if you killed Potter you'd lose your badge" she replied and Alice was the one to burst into laughter.

"I'm pretty sure in that scenario; I would have more to worry about besides losing my badge. Getting sent to Azkaban for instance?" Lily explained and Roxanne nodded, stroking her chin in mock thought.

"Touché, Miss. Evans. Oh great, there's your boyfriend" she added darkly and Lily glanced towards the dungeon doors and sure enough, her old best friend, Severus Snape was standing there boring his black eyes into hers.

"Does he have to stare like that all the time?' Lily asked gravely and Alice smiled sweetly at her.

"He just misses you Lily. You know he regrets-"

"He doesn't. He spends his days with his nose behind every Dark Arts book he can find and curses people like me. He uses that word for other people who have the exact same blood; I'm not an exception. And he doesn't deserve my forgiveness" she snapped, turning away from him.

Alice fell silent and Lily instantly felt guilty.

"Alice, I'm sorry."

She offered her a smile and Alice shrugged and smiled back at her.

Roxanne rolled her eyes.

"I think Lily is right not to forgive him; he's a prat! Someone who calls their 'best friend' that disgusting word is not worthy of your presence" she exclaimed, glaring over her shoulder.

Lily shrugged and sighed to herself.

"Let's forget it, we're going inside anyway" she said quietly and they all traipsed into the room silently, feeling the conversation was a little too personal for Lily's liking.

She sat down beside Marlene because all their seats were assigned and Dorcas took her seat beside James who asked her to trade with Sirius as their usual start of year joke.

"Sorry James, you know I can't" she told him and he grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

"It was worth a try though" he told her and she shook her head.

"You've been trying for the past two years!"

"It's my last chance!" he responded and they both laughed briefly.

"Settle down class! Settle down!" a large man shouted as he waddled through the room, his belly visible as he nodded at everyone who instantly quietened.

Horace Slughorn suddenly burst out into a wide grin.

"This is the first day of your last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. How do you feel?" he asked the class at large and Sirius was the one to answer.

"No more homework!" he shouted and a majority of the class all cheered at his response.

"Oho! Is that so Sirius m'boy? Well I suppose you're right" Slughorn announced and then made his way up to the black board.

"Now, as procedure I must go through the start of year N.E. talk with you all and-"

The class all groaned loudly, although James and Sirius were loudest.

"I shall try and make this as quick and painless as possible" he promised before branching out into his speech and the stopped to take the roll when he was finally done, half an hour into the lesson.

"I don't know about you, but he droned on longer than Flitwick" Roxanne muttered to Alice who nodded in agreement.

"You'd think they would all just get us together in a group and have one teacher tell everyone at the same time" she answered and Remus leaned over and whispered; "but then the teachers wouldn't get to try and hammer how much more important their subject is than any others."

Alice started and then held her hand over her chest in surprise.

"Remus Lupin; are you talking while a teacher is?" she asked in a shocked voice and he simply smiled back and carried on listening to Slughorn as though it had never happened.

"Now, I know that you have a lot of subjects to focus on, but I must remind you that this class is one of the trickiest, most valued classes of all in this castle and you must not take it lightly…"

Remus turned to Alice and Roxanne with an 'I told you so" expression and they both giggled quietly.

Sirius, who was sitting beside him rolled his eyes and started tapping a beat onto the desk until Slughorn said the magic words; "now go ahead and get your ingredients!" and he leapt off of his seat and headed towards the ingredients cupboard with Remus trailing behind him.

Lily pulled some ingredients into her hand and Marlene grabbed what she couldn't carry and hurried back to their desk. Lily turned to follow her, almost bumping into Snape.

"Sorry" she apologised shortly and he stared down at her and opened his mouth to say something but was shoved roughly out of the way by James.

"Move, Snivellus" he snapped and Snape narrowed his eyes and advanced towards him.

"Don't talk to me like that, Potter" he snapped, almost spitting his name out.

Lily sighed agitatedly as James opened his mouth to reply.

"I'll talk to scum like you however I like" he puffed out is chest, hoping Lily would notice.

Snape was about to respond when Lily suddenly lost it.

"ENOUGH! Honestly, can the pair of you be any more immature? Seriously, grow up" she snarled, stomping away to her desk leaving them both speechless.

James narrowed his eyes and then turned on his heel just in time to help Dorcas carry some things back to their own desk.

Lily was not in a good mood as Marlene noticed, watching her cut the ingredients aggressively. She was being careless, glaring daggers at the herb she was slicing ferociously while possibly pretending it was someone else.

Marlene was about to warn her to take care and suggest that she should take over when Lily suddenly let out a loud yelp and whipped her bleeding finger up to her mouth, sucking on it.

There was too much blood, she had to wrap it up in a bit of her robes but her cry out had alerted Slughorn.

"Ah, Lily m'dear. You'd best be off to the Hospital wing. Mr. Lupin? Please assist Miss. Evans to Madame Pomfry" he instructed and Remus nodded in return.

At this, Slughorn noticed that Sirius would be left in charge of their potion, and the memory of Sirius being in such a position last term made him shudder. It involved explosives, much cleaning and the rebuilding of the store room.

"Actually, no. On second thoughts, not you Lupin. James, boy. Miss. Meadows seems at ease with your potion. Help escort Miss. Evans to the Hospital Wing" he said and James, grinning, nodded enthusiastically.

Lily's mood turned even more sour, if that was even possible as she swept from the room the second James left his seat.

"Aw, come on Evans. Don't be like that" he called after her as she stormed down the hallway so that he had to jog to catch up.

"Like what?" she replied, not caring even the slightest.

James snorted.

"Well where do I start?" You're cranky, moody, bitter, sooky-"

"I am not sooky-"

"Angry, upset, flustered, aggravated, annoyed, emotional, short-"

"What does my height have to do with any of this?" she asked stopping suddenly and turning to face him so that he walked right into her.

He stepped back the tiniest bit, causing her to raise her eyebrows at him.

"Because you're cute. I'm much taller than you" he answered matter-of-factly.

She sighed.

"Listen, Potter. You're invading my personal space. You're giving me a headache. You're a rude, arrogant, bullying arse who deserves to be in much severe pain. If you don't move, and if you call me cute once more, you'll know pain at a whole new level" she warned savagely and he stepped sideways around her.

"Okay, have it your way then" he replied offhandedly and they set off once more towards the Hospital Wing with James humming the school theme, getting louder and louder as they advanced along the corridor.

"Shut up."

"_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy, Warty, Hogwarts-"_

"Shut up!"

"_Teach us something please!-"_

"I said shut up!"

"_Whether we be old and bold or young with-"_

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

James opened his mouth to continue, but Lily shocked him with her next sentence.

"Just stop fucking singing for fuck's sake!"

There was an eerie silence as they walked through the castle, making it seem very awkward. It was actually starting to irritate her, but anything was better than his voice.

"You just swore" he answered matter-of-factly and she rolled her eyes.

"Really? I think you imagined it" she answered heatedly, ashamed at herself.

Lily Evans did not swear; she did not like using expletives and had never used them as she found them very rude and unattractive. And yet here she was using the f-word.

_Curse Potter and his ability to drive her insane and get on her very last nerve!_ She thought angrily and forced herself to clench her fists to keep her from strangling him when she noticed him smirking.

When they finally reached the Hospital Wing, Lily turned to James.

"Bye now, Potter. You can go back to class" she told him, a little too enthusiastically for his liking.

"I can't just leave a crippled you to make your way back to class on your own! What if you fall?" he asked, dumbfounded.

Lily stared at him as though she found him the most unintelligent person on the planet. Truthfully, she did. Apart from Peter. Now that kid had problems.

"I injured my hand, Potter. Not my foot. Goes to show how much you care. Not that you would anyway" she added more to herself than to him.

He opened his mouth to argue but Madame Pomfry, the overwrought hospital nurse who was a tad bit too over protective of every single student that was unfortunately under her care, cut in before he could answer her.

"Miss. Evans, Mr. Potter! What can I do for you?" she asked and Lily held up her finger to allow her to observe it.

"I cut it in potions" she explained and Madame Pomfry tutted.

"Well, you'd better come in here so I can further examine and heal it" she told her, pulling her by the injured hand and making her wince.

"You boy!" She barked at James who was following them. Wait outside; it's very unhygienic in here. Too many pathogens roaming around" she explained with a disgusted facial expression, a mix between an upturned pig's nose and a frog's mouth and her eyes almost popping out of her sockets. James tried to stifle his laughs at the pathogen frenzied witch until the curtain closed where he had a small chuckle to himself.

* * *

"How's your finger, Lils?"

Lily was back in the Gryffindor Common room with her friends, sitting beside the fire with a bandaged hand. She had tried to explain to the nurse that an entire hand bandage was unnecessary, but fell upon deaf ears. She was complaining about how it was too risky for the pathogens to crawl up under a single finger bandage and Lily didn't argue; she didn't understand what went through that crazy broad's mind most of the time.

She shrugged and leaned back into the sofa, thinking of how to answer Alice who was also writing a letter to her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom. He finished Hogwarts the year before, and they were still together after spending weeks of the summer apart due to Alice's family holiday and Frank's strict Mother. It had been very hard on them being apart, even for a few days.

"It's okay, it feels heavy though" she replied, feeling dozy by the fire.

"Ah, thanks to the many layers of bandaging Pomfry insisted upon" Roxanne teased and Lily rolled her eyes.

"She needs to get a life besides that hospital" she grumbled and the others nodded in confirmation.

"Mar-Marlene" Lily said in between yawns, and her friend glanced at her.

"Yes, Lily?"

"Sorry about leaving you with the potion, thanks for finishing it" she told her for the umpteenth time that night.

Marlene laughed at her.

"I told you Lily; it's fine. Besides, the way you're all chummy with Slughorn, you'll get a definite pass for your ingredient crushing attempt" she quipped, making Lily snigger.

"Very funny. I hope I didn't damage them too much" she replied and Marlene shrugged.

"I managed to save them all" she promised her and gave her a wink.

Dorcas was staring into the flames of the fireplace, deep in thought.

"Marl?"

Marlene turned to her and frowned.

"What's up?"

"How does Ben know your name?" she asked curiously, taking her friend by surprise.

"Why, I'm not exactly sure. It was kind of creepy to be honest. I've never spoken to him before" she answered and Dorcas smiled.

"Is this Dorcas' cute little crush?" Alice teased, making the said girl go a vibrant shade of red.

"Ah! Dorcas, that is so adorable! Are you going to ask him to Hogsmeade?" she pressed on, and Dorcas shrugged in reply.

"She can't just ask him out like that; she needs to talk to him first" Roxanne explained and Alice shook her head.

"Since when are you the boy expert?" she questioned and Roxanne shrugged.

"I'm not; I'm just saying that she should get to know him a little better before jumping into it too quickly. He might just want to be friends, or like someone else."

Dorcas gasped, her eyes beginning to well up.

Alice glared at Roxanne for causing this reaction in their friend.

"What I mean is" Roxanne backtracked, trying to correct herself, "You want to be sure he likes you if you ask him out right? So talk to him, and maybe even-"

"Flirt with him" Alice and Marlene said in unison, plans forming in their minds.

"I don't know… I've never flirted with a guy before. I don't know how! What if I make a fool of myself?" Dorcas asked worriedly and Alice batted a hand in her direction.

"You will not; we'll train you. We will help you be flirty. Guys like that; they think it's sexy" Marlene told her and Alice grinned.

"Marlene helped me when I wanted to be more than friends with Frank. So we'll all help. Won't we guys?"

Roxanne nodded eagerly.

"I'll show you how to enjoy activities with guys; like Quidditch. All guys and girls like Quidditch. You could come to practice with me and-"

"Um, that's great input Roxy but I don't think that will help. They can go watch a Quidditch match for fun, on a date maybe, but I don't think it will help get Dorcas her guy" Marlene explained gently.

Roxanne raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"What I mean is, before we get to the date stage, we should start at step one: Trying to help Dorcas gain confidence around Ben. And then, when she thinks the time is right, she could ask him to go with her to the first Quidditch match of the season. And maybe even go to Hogsmeade the following weekend" she added, so as not to hurt Roxanne's feelings.

Roxanne nodded in satisfaction, and grinned.

"What do you think, Lils?"

There was no answer from the redhead, but they heard low, quiet snores coming from the nestled Head Girl who seemed very content in her spot by the fire. They all grinned at each other and watched her for a while longer and talked about Dorcas' boy dilemma, if you could really call it that.

* * *

It must have been much later when Lily half-awoke from her deep slumber due to being swayed around back and forth. She was being carried in someone's arms, and she had no idea how she had gotten from the couch beside the fire in the Common room, to here. Wherever 'here' was.

"Shh, it's alright Lily. I'm putting you to bed. You fell asleep" the familiar, masculine voice informed her, but the soft rocking motion of her body slowly made her drift back off to sleep and he chuckled quietly so as not to reawaken her.

"Squiggly Piggly" James told Frederick the Forlorn, who grimaced at him and swung forwards, allowing him entrance.

He walked in past the Head's Common room and went straight to Lily's room and turned the knob of the door, opening it slowly. He then strode over to her bed and pulled back the sheets and set her down on it very gently. He pulled off her shoes and socks without her waking, and then took off her tie and hung it over the end of her bed. He tucked her in, pulling the blanket over her chest and watched as a small smile formed on her face. In her sleep, Lily was peaceful.

James shook his head at himself. He should better get back to his own bed before she awoke suddenly and accused him of attempting to rape her or something, because he could definitely imagine her doing that.

He sighed, but before leaving he leaned down and softly pressed his lips to her forehead, not being able to stop himself. He straightened up and left the room, casting one more look over the sleeping beauty before closing the door and making his way to his own room.

* * *

**A/N: Wow that was a whopper of a chapter! Hope you all enjoyed it though :D But please, please let me know because if you don't review I'll never know if anyone likes it. And besides, I like getting feedback :)**

**Thank you for reading ;) Have a Happy Easter wherever you are and I hope many chocolates find you safely :) **

**Love always,**

**LilyHeartsJames**

**xoxoxoxox**


	3. Chapter 3

**Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial**

_LilyHeartsJames_

**Summary: **_It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between. _

**Disclaimer: **If I told you I created Harry Potter then you wouldn't believe me; 'cause everyone knows J.K Rowling did it. Unless you've been living under a rock :P

**Dedication: **To the readers and reviewers, you guys are awesome!

**Notes: **Once again, thank you all so much for reviewing, favouriting and alerting. I really hope people will come back to this story and find more chapters awaiting them.

I've just seen the last ever Harry Potter movie and it's given me some inspiration to write :) Plus I've made you all wait for long enough, so sorry about that. But I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please leave me some feedback; it would be really helpful :D

A lot of people are afraid because they think the final film means the Harry Potter era is over, but I don't believe that. As long as there are those who remain loyal to it, Harry Potter will live on with us forever. It's in our hearts, our minds and our lives and it always will be. Besides, there's a whole new generation to corrupt! ;)

* * *

**] CHAPTER THREE [**

_**All the Small Things**_

Lily and Roxanne were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table the furthest away from the doors eating their breakfast when Alice came hurrying over to them, her cheeks tinged with pink and her hair a mess.

"Has the mail arrived yet?" she questioned, sitting beside Lily and pulling a bowl of cereal towards her and the other two shook their heads slowly.

"Not yet. Where have you been?" Roxanne asked, looking her up and down with curiosity. She looked as though she had just run a marathon.

"I had to hurry, I met Peeves on the stairs" she explained and Roxanne and Lily shook their heads in unison.

"That poltergeist is nothing but trouble" Lily murmured and Alice nodded in agreement.

"How are you all on this fine morning?" a voice behind Lily asked and they all looked around to find Jacob Walker, a seventh year Ravenclaw who was friends with the girls and had dated Roxanne in their fifth year standing behind them.

He picked a seat next to her and she greeted him with a smile.

"Hey Jake. Been practicing much over the holidays?" Roxanne asked and he nodded enthusiastically before launching into a long description of how he met the captain of a famous Quidditch team, but Lily didn't catch the name.

"So, have you heard back from Frank yet?" she asked turning to Alice who shook her head.

"That's why I asked about the mail. It's been just over a week" she murmured, leaning her chin in the palm of her hand and slowly drummed her fingers against her cheek.

"He'll reply soon enough, he's probably really busy in the Auror office" Lily reassured her and smiled before taking a bite out of her Old English muffin.

Marlene and Dorcas made their way up the breakfast table, passing several younger Gryffindors who were discussing their time tables. Marlene scooted in next to Jacob and winked at Lily whilst Dorcas buried herself in _The Daily Prophet_ beside Alice who passed it to her.

"Ministry are trying to bring in new Centaur rights" she muttered flicking the page over.

"It's about time" Lily commented and Dorcas and Jacob nodded.

"It's just that only a few months ago they were complaining about all the rights they did have, saying they had too many. It's confusing" Dorcas added and Lily frowned thoughtfully.

"Maybe they've had a change of heart?"

Jacob raised an eyebrow at the redhead.

"Who knows these days? They're probably just using that story to cover up something. It's what they've been doing all year" he said darkly and Lily glanced over at the Slytherin table where Severus Snape sat engrossed in a book. Most likely to be something to do with the Dark Arts, she thought bitterly.

"How was your summer, Lily?" Jacob asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She shrugged.

"It was okay. It was good to see my parents, too bad the same can't be said for my sister" she added dully and he chuckled at her.

"Think of me, I have to live with Kirrily here _and _at home!" he told her with a shudder and she giggled. Kirrily was a sixth year Ravenclaw and wasn't a big fan of Lily and the girls, and vice versa.

"Okay, you definitely win the pity" she admitted and he grinned at her.

"Going to watch the Quidditch Tryouts this week?"

She nodded happily.

"I wouldn't want to miss a chance of seeing Roxanne make it back onto the team" she replied smiling in her best friend's direction who winked at her.

"You know me, Lils. They couldn't find a better Keeper" she exclaimed and they laughed at her as she over exaggeratedly flicked her hair over her shoulder in an obvious imitation of Sirius when he tried to seduce someone; or tell anyone who would listen about how incredibly sexy he was. His own words precisely.

"Walker! Mingling with the ladies of our House I see" James Potter's voice carried over as he and the rest of the Marauders made their way down the table.

"It was legal the last time I checked" Jacob answered and for a moment he and James stared hard at one another before breaking into a grin, grasping each other's hands and slapping one another on the back.

"Come and sit with us, get you away from those girls" Sirius told him inclining his head towards their spare seats.

"I'll see you girls later. Train up, Roxy. See you, Lily" he added winking at the Head Girl who smiled back at him and he made his way down to the boys who were already eating their breakfast.

"Wow, Jacob sure is taking a shine to you" Marlene commented nodding at her and she frowned.

"No he isn't, he's just being nice" Lily answered matter of factly and Alice and Marlene glanced at each other knowingly.

"_See you, Lily_" they repeated in love-struck voices and Lily swatted at them with her breakfast bun as they made goo-goo eyes at one another.

"He said something to Roxanne too" she exclaimed, her face reddening.

"Yeah, but she didn't receive a wink" Dorcas told her, winking sleazily and Lily raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, so how're you and Ben going?" she shot back, and Dorcas blushed as Lily poked her tongue out playfully at her.

"I think Lily and Jacob would be great together" Roxanne piped up unexpectedly and made Lily frown at her.

"But you can't say that" she replied and Roxanne scratched her head awkwardly.

"Why not?"

"Because! One, Jacob and I are just friends, and two, you dated him for months!" Lily reminded her and Roxanne rolled her eyes.

"Lily, I wouldn't care if the pair of you dated. What's in the past is in the past, we're just friends now" she responded shovelling some cereal into her mouth.

"Irrelevant, we're just friends" the redhead told her and the others shrugged in reply.

"So Dorcas. How is Benny-boy anyway?" Alice asked changing the subject and Dorcas went scarlet once more.

"I don't know I haven't even spoken to him" she answered shyly and Alice smiled at her.

"Don't worry, you just need the confidence. He'll like you in no time" she promised and Marlene nodded in confirmation.

"He'd be nuts if he didn't" she reassured her.

"Okay, I know the whole boy topic is a popular one with you guys, but can we talk about something else? Like Quidditch?" Roxanne interrupted and the other four groaned and stood up from the table.

"Come on, we'd better get going. I've got to fix Alice's birds nest" Lily said inclining her head towards Alice's hair and she laughed at her.

"Why don't we put some baby birdies in the nest to complete her new look?" Roxanne suggested and the girls left the Great Hall together, laughing and joking amongst themselves.

* * *

"Prongs, did you by any chance happen to borrow my Transfiguration notes from yesterday's class?" Remus asked as he went through his bag, pulling rolls of parchment and many quills from it during his search.

The boy in question, who was walking beside Peter and telling him about the food contents in the fridge that was in the Head Boy and Girl's Dormitory looked around at him with a frown, stopping his conversation automatically.

"No, you didn't lose them did you?" he asked suspiciously, as Remus Lupin never lost anything.

Remus shook his head and stopped, kneeling down and rummaging through his bag far more frantically.

"I put them back in here last night after using them to write up my essay. Now they're missing" he exclaimed, completely turning his bag upside down.

James and Peter bent down to try and help him in his search when Sirius, who was up ahead, turned and shook his head at them.

"Relax Moony, I've got them. I borrowed them this morning" he explained and Remus narrowed his eyes up at him.

"Sirius! What have I told you about asking before taking things?" he questioned and Sirius scrunched up his eyes for a second in deep thought before finally shrugging and taking another bite out of his cinnamon doughnut.

He pulled it out of his pocket as the other three placed Remus' belongings back into his bag and passed it over to him, with Remus taking it hesitantly and inspecting it.

"There's jam on it" he detected, and Peter's watery blue eyes lit up instantly.

"Oooh, is it strawberry jam?"

Remus raised an eyebrow at him and glanced back at the parchment and sniffed it.

"No, it's fig. My least favourite. Thank you, Padfoot" he said sarcastically and Sirius bowed down before him.

"You are welcome Moony! What class have we got now?" he asked smoothing his hair down perfectly as he passed a window and glimpsed at his reflection, and even though there was nothing wrong with it, he re-smoothed his hair for added effect anyway.

"Defence Against the Dark Arts" Remus answered automatically and Sirius nodded approvingly.

"How much hair product did you go through this morning?" James asked in a surprised tone as he caught a whiff when Sirius flicked it in his direction, almost whipping his face in the process.

"Oh not much" he answered hesitantly and continued walking through the corridor and kept sneaking glances at his reflection at every opportunity he got.

James shook his head and pulled open the door to the classroom and stepped through, instantly raising his hand to ruffle his hair the moment he caught sight of Lily who was sitting beside Dorcas and talking away, smiling and laughing, making his heart beat insanely, far more than what it was before he entered the classroom.

He was about to call out a greeting to her when Sirius pushed him roughly out of the way and he toppled head first into the desk in front of him, ending up lying on his back on the floor beside it and blushing furiously as the class erupted into laughter, including Lily who was smirking down at him.

"Sodding Prick" he muttered angrily, pulling himself up with the aid of the table and heating up in the face. He saw his 'best friend' sitting there sniggering a few seats away and he gave him a hard, solid punch to the shoulder, causing him to shriek loudly as he sat beside him regrettably, pulling out his books and equipment from his bag.

"Settle down, settle down. I've got a headache" the teacher called over the class and Sirius coughed loudly.

"Hangover, professor?"

"Not quite, Mr. Black. Not that it's any of your business" he answered smartly turning back to the board and Marlene and Lily glanced at each other and smiled knowingly. It wasn't a lie that the young professor was good looking, with his straight, shoulder length layered dark brown hair and olive green eyes, and muscular figure to match.

He pulled off of his robes, leaving him in just a plain white button up shirt and smart pants and causing a majority of the girls in the class to swoon, although Alice acted as if it had no effect on her. Even Roxanne found him quite attractive; however, she would never admit it to anyone.

Professor Anthony Braves was only six years out of Hogwarts himself, and the class were all in their first year when he was graduating. Being only eleven at the time, it was hard for the members in the class to remember him, but they saw his name from time to time popping up in the trophy room if they ever received detention.

"I swear he doesn't realise the effect he gets when he does that" Marlene muttered when leaning forward to share this with Lily and Dorcas and they nodded in agreement.

"Come off of it, as if he wouldn't. He'd have to be blind and stupid!" Roxanne responded leaning back from her seat beside Alice and before any of them could respond, Braves unexpectedly interrupted them.

"Care to share, Miss. Scott?" he asked from in front of her desk and she instantly fell back forward, her chair clattering as it came back down on all fours and her hands smacked down flat on the table, breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry to have startled you, it was not my intention. But may I advise you in future not to carry out such an action. It could very easily lead to severe injuries and I for one don't want to lose my job over neglecting a student's poor decision to do the wrong thing" he told her turning and making his way back up to the front leaving Roxanne flabbergasted.

Lily smirked. Not many people usually had this effect over Roxanne, apart from Sirius Black when they were arguing or declaring war of course.

Roxanne heard a snigger and turned to glare at the said suspect above, and gave him the finger and was unfortunately caught by the professor, again.

"This is the second time you've disrupted my class, Miss. Scott. Once more and you'll be seeing me in detention" he called over and Roxanne's eyes narrowed as she glared at her desk and didn't respond, wanting nothing more than to hex the pair of them.

Braves smirked to himself before looking back up at the class.

"Right. So this morning I went back over the notes from last year, and from Leghorn's comments it seems that a majority of you couldn't quite grasp the case of non-verbal spells. Now-"

The Professor was cut off by the majority of the class groaning as they remembered back to those many torturous lessons of trying to cast spells without saying them out loud. Naturally, Sirius Black's groan was loudest; his wail reminded Lily of a wounded walrus.

Braves raised an eyebrow before continuing.

"Yes, Mr. Black. Professor Leghorn did express that you didn't quite grasp it as well as he had hoped you would" he remarked and Sirius' mouth opened and closed before crossing his arms and glaring at the desk, his cheeks bright red. Roxanne sniggered quietly, but not so that Braves couldn't hear.

"Find something amusing, Miss Scott? Apparently you didn't do so well either, so it wouldn't do yourself justice to laugh at the misfortune of others" he reprimanded her and her eyes instantly narrowed as she averted her gaze to her desk so she wouldn't get into trouble for giving the Professor greasy looks.

"So, this lesson we will be carrying on with using non verbal spells. If, after this lesson some can still not quite grasp it, it is up to you as a class to arrange private lessons with me until you can all manage to. We can't afford to spend much more time on this topic if you all want to graduate on time" he continued and there was silence amongst the room.

"I'm going to assign you all to a partner and when you're ready to begin, find a space and use only the disarming spell. I trust you all know that one" he told them as he moved along the aisles and selected people to work together, obviously oblivious to the fact that both Snape and Sirius were scowling at one another upon hearing they were to be partnered.

Lily grinned at Marlene who winked at her in return as Braves assigned them to each other and they got up and found a space away from the rest of the class at the back of the room. Lily was about to point her wand at her partner when Marlene suddenly put her hands up in front of her, warning her to stop.

"What's the matter?" Lily asked curiously and Marlene shrugged, going red in the face.

"Can't you already do it?"

Lily frowned and nodded slowly and Marlene shuffled her feet awkwardly.

"Can you help me?" she asked, her eyes practically begging her as a smile broke out across Lily's face.

"Of course I can help you, Marls. You just really, really have to concentrate hard" she said as she walked over to her and began explaining the process clearly.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Sirius wasn't having the best time with Snape who had already mastered non-verbal spells in their third year, considering he had quite an obsession with the Dark Arts. It was obvious Snape was not using the disarming spell as he had been told to, because Sirius' legs were dancing wildly on the spot.

Being fed up with it, and not caring whether the Professor was watching, he aimed his wand at the greasy haired boy and yelled; "Rictusempra!" and the spell immediately hit Snape to Sirius and James' amusement, who had looked over just in time to witness this.

"Ha!" he shouted and narrowly avoided the disarming spell that Peter had sent towards him.

Of course, this had caught the attention of the teacher who swept over to Sirius in an instant.

"What is this? I seem to remember telling the entire class to disarm only. Five points from both your houses and you will each receive detention. I expected better from a senior class" Braves told them sternly and pointed his wand and stopped Sirius' legs from dancing with a swift flick.

"And let this be a warning to anyone else who thinks it funny to disobey direct orders" he called over the heads of students and the noise in the classroom increased once more.

His eyes jumped from pair to pair as each took it in turns to disarm the other.

"The last time I checked, Miss Scott, non-verbal spells did not include muttering them under your breath. 1 point from Gryffindor for your lack of initiative and inability to follow a teacher's orders" he yelled as his eyes caught sight of Roxanne who opened her mouth in indignation, ready to argue back this time but Remus, who was next to her and partnered with Alice, stepped on her foot to stop her from digging herself into an even deeper hole.

"Don't bother, you're just making it worse for yourself" he murmured and she closed her mouth resentfully, and turned her back on Braves and faced Dorcas once more.

When he was out of earshot, Roxanne turned to Remus.

"He _so_ has it out for me! That's four times this lesson! Stupid git" she snarled and Remus shook his head at her.

"I'm sure he doesn't, and if I were you I wouldn't call him names. He can hear things most teachers can't" he replied and she sniggered.

"Only because he's not old like the rest" she said before aiming her wand back at Dorcas and screwed up her face in concentration.

* * *

"Well, I am pleased to say that that lesson was actually productive! The best one of today! I can now accomplish a non-verbal spell!" Alice announced excitedly and Lily grinned at her.

"Great job Alice! I knew you could do it" she said and Roxanne sighed.

"And lucky me gets to spend private lessons with that bast-"

Marlene nudged her in the ribs and nodded as Professor Braves made his way up the table, his eyes settled on Roxanne.

"You need to be careful" she whispered in her ear and Roxanne gritted her teeth.

"Oh joy" she responded, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Ah, Miss Scott. My office at half past seven, there will be a number of students joining you" he told her with a smirk and Roxanne bit back the nasty reply she had ready.

"Yes, sir" she answered and he nodded before continuing along the table to find more students and Roxanne let out a low groan.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad" Lily reassured her, patting her hand gently.

"It's going to be torture" Roxanne told her earnestly and pushed her potatoes around her plate glumly.

Further down the table Sirius was going over a revenge plan for Snape with James and although he tried not to, Remus couldn't help but listen to their discussion.

"It has to be something that will honestly make him regret even considering hexing me, the slimy wanker. It can't be tonight though, I've got a class with Braves and then detention to top off my day-"

"I have patrolling tonight and tomorrow anyway, _with Lily_" James interrupted and Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"Prongs you sly stag, a date with Evans at last!"

James laughed and shook his head, glancing down at the redhead in question who was trying to cheer up her friend. He smiled and found himself watching the laughter reach her eyes when Roxanne said something and then buried her head in her arms. James couldn't help himself; Lily was beautiful, and she hardly ever smiled when he was in her vicinity.

"OI!"

He suddenly snapped out of his thoughts and turned his attention back to his friend who was beginning to become impatient.

"Sorry, Padfoot. Why don't we pick this up in our free period tomorrow? That way we'll have longer to plan and we can sleep on it so we can come up with some fresh ideas" he suggested and Sirius nodded thoughtfully.

Peter picked up a jam tart and looked at it with a slight frown.

"Why haven't we pranked the girls yet? We always do at least five pranks on them by now" he said and Sirius rolled his eyes at him.

"Listen, Pete. We don't need to worry about them. It's that greasy slimeball that needs a good lesson. Besides, we can't always focus on one particular group or person; we need to broaden our pranks to more people who would never expect it" he explained and Remus raised an eyebrow.

"We have pranked the entire school, Padfoot. How much more broad can we get? And besides, you're forgetting you've based your pranks on Snape since first year and he's a person so-"

Sirius snorted at him.

"Snape is not a person, he's a Death Eater" he said darkly glaring over at the Slytherin who was clearly eavesdropping on the peoples 'private' conversation beside him.

Before Remus could reply, James cut across him.

"I really hope I catch him out of bed tonight, I'll take a hell of a lot of points from him and give him detention for every night of this week" he said, brightening up at that thought. Remus sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Wow, James. Abusing your power already. I really expected this-"

"The first day back, but as you were busy rescuing Evans-"

"Don't you realise that abusing your position of power is not only irresponsible but it could also land you into a lot of trouble. One complaint to the teachers and they could take your badge away. It would take a complete imbecile not to realise you're deliberately targeting Snape and further more-"

"Remus, I won't lose my badge. Besides, I was only joking. Wasn't I, Padfoot?" James asked winking at his companion who grinned evilly.

"Of course, Prongsy. You would never misuse your position" he agreed with a sly nod.

Remus shook his head and continued eating his dinner, not even bothering anymore.

* * *

"Well if it isn't my most persistent stalker. Going to jot something down in your 'Connections with Lily' notepad? Or are you just going to remember this one off by heart?" the redhead asked sarcastically as she brushed past James without a second glance.

James grinned as he hitched his bag over his shoulder and hurried to her side, falling into step comfortably with her.

"Well to be honest, I prefer the term 'Intense In-depth Researcher'. It's much more professional and slightly less creepy" he admitted, laughing at his own humour.

"I would say it's actually a lot more creepy" she responded dryly and stopped in front of the portrait to the Headquarters.

"So, patrolling date tonight, you keen?" he asked trying to lighten the mood.

"It's not a date, and why would I be 'keen' to spend two hours of my valuable time with you, of all people?"

"Oh, Evans. Why must you live in such denial all the time? Couldn't you find something better to do other than waste your time pretending?"

"I do not live in denial! And pretending what?" she asked huffily and James smiled cheekily at her.

"That you don't want to spend time with me when secretly, deep down, you do" he answered matter of factly.

"Ha, in your dreams maybe. I actually prefer more intelligent company. Squiggly Piggly" she added to Frederick who swung forwards and allowed them entrance.

"One day you'll admit it. One day you will realise that you are undeniably attracted to me" he said dropping his bag on the counter and turning to face her.

She rolled her eyes as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"Like I said, keep dreaming, Potter" she said taking the glass with her to her bedroom.

"Oh how thoughtful, you left the drink out so I can have some!" James called over his shoulder and picked up the container eagerly, only to be disappointed at the empty contents.

"Thanks, Evans" James said sarcastically as he threw it into the bin and began rummaging through the fridge.

Lily smirked as she plopped her bag onto her bed and pulled her hair out of the lose bun she had it in and shook it so that it cascaded down past her shoulders. She rubbed her eyes and stared into the mirror at her reflection and almost jumped when she saw James standing in the doorway.

"What do you want?" she asked turning to face him and he just smiled and shrugged.

"You know me, just felt like stalking you" he answered and she stormed over and closed the door in his face, listening to him chuckle on the other side.

* * *

Lily had been in his presence for two hours already and she wanted to strangle him. It was far too long a period to spend it with someone who made her want to commit several gory murders and not end up sane. She was worried; those graphic images of all the wickedly, sinister harmful scenarios that popped into her mind made her want to consider having Madame Pomfrey check her over.

She just needed to get as far away from him as possible. Any longer and she would snap.

"I mean, those two in the broom cupboard seemed quite comfy; was it really necessary to barge in on them?" he asked, glancing at her and smiling when he noticed her grit her teeth agitatedly.

"Of course it was, they were doing something against the fraternization with other students rule and they were not in their dormitory after their curfew was up. They deserved detention" she replied as if it were obvious.

"Okay, but don't you think that would be a little hypocritical for when we get caught fooling around in the broom cupboards?" James asked, smirking at her frustrated expression.

"Oh please, don't make me projectile vomit all over your expensive robes. I wouldn't get caught with you in a broom storage cupboard even if hell had frozen over" she snapped, crinkling her nose at the thought.

James just chuckled at her and his hand automatically flew to his hair and brushed through it, causing it to become even more messed up. This however, made Lily groan out loud in annoyance.

"Must you do that? I don't quite understand how you actually enjoy looking as though you've just stepped off of a broomstick" she commented snidely and frowned at him.

"Well the ladies of Hogwarts don't seem to mind" he answered and she rolled her eyes.

"Man whore" she muttered under her breath and he raised his eyebrows.

"Excuse me, Evans? But I believe I just heard you call me a-"

"Oh no, did I just bruise your ego? How are you ever going to recover from such a blow to the heart?" she questioned, feigning sympathy.

James grinned at her.

"So you've finally acknowledged it then? That I have a heart? Never thought I would see the day" he retorted and she sighed and didn't respond but merely glanced ahead and saw a robe whip around the corner.

"There's someone around there" she said and they both sped up, jogging until they reached the corner and were met with an empty corridor causing Lily to become quite confused.

"I don't understand; I saw someone run around that corner!"

James looked behind some knights of shining armour statues and came to the conclusion that there was indeed no one there.

"Well whoever it is, or was for that matter, they're gone now" he informed her and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well clearly; we're the only ones here" she answered dryly and James put his hands up in defence and continued walking onwards, not even bothering to reply. Lily let out a huff and followed him, casting a dark look over the corridor before turning the next corner.

Unbeknownst to the pair of them, Sirius Black was standing under James' invisibility cloak, smirking to himself and shaking his head as he carried a bundle of sweets from the kitchens in his arms, enjoying a custard tart as he slowly made his way back to the dormitories.

* * *

"Have you ever walked the castle at night?" James suddenly asked after awhile of silence and Lily frowned at him in the darkness.

"You don't remember that time I followed you and your friends because you wouldn't listen to me and go back to bed in first year?" she responded and she heard him laugh.

"That was like Sirius' worst nightmare. He was so sure we would get caught with you tailing us the entire time" he murmured and she shrugged.

"You were going to lose us house points, and you had already done that the night before! I was just making sure you didn't get into anymore trouble" she explained and he rolled his eyes.

"_You need to get back to your dormitory! I will go and get Professor McGonagall if you lot don't turn around right now! I swear I will!_" James mimicked in a high pitched voice and Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"I did not sound like that! And besides, that would be more accurate to your own voice at the time" she snapped and he sniggered.

"If that's what you want to believe" he replied and they lapsed into silence once more.

"Do you remember when Peeves started following us too? And he was pulling your hair" James chortled and Lily rolled her eyes.

"That poltergeist is trouble; it's no wonder Dumbledore and the Bloody Barron are the only ones who can control him" she grumbled and James smiled at her.

"Lucky Remus knew that Whatty-Whatsit spell to stop him" he replied and was surprised when she laughed.

"You said it wrong, it's W-"

"OI!" James suddenly shouted making her jump, and a student who was just leaving a classroom froze in their steps.

They hurried over to him and James turned him around by his shoulder to face them, and Lily recognised him as a second year student.

"What are you doing out after curfew?" James asked suavely and the boy frowned up at him.

"What's it matter to you?" he asked gruffly and flicked his light brown side fringe out of his eyes and James glared down at him.

"Because I'm Head Boy, you little sh-"

"What's your name?" Lily asked kindly, interrupting him and the boy instead turned to her.

"Peters. Jackson Peters. Ravenclaw" he answered and Lily nodded and then turned her head sideways, trying to figure him out.

"Can you tell me why you're out of bed?"

He shrugged.

"Detention" he answered matter-of-factly and she nodded.

"For which Professor?"

"Flitwick."

"We'll be checking that" James told him and crossed his arms over his chest which puffed out to show his badge. "You best be off to your dormitory."

The boy rolled his eyes and turned on his heel and began to walk away.

"I can take points off of you, you know!" he called out to him and the boy stuck his middle finger up over his shoulder and James' hand immediately grabbed for his wand in his robe pocket, but Lily stopped him by taking hold of his arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" James demanded angrily as the boy vanished around the corner and Lily rolled her eyes, dropping her arm back down by her side.

"He's just a kid, so drop it. Besides, I'd have to report you and give you detention for hexing him under false pretences" she replied heatedly and he gaped at her.

"You can't do that! I'm Head Boy!"

"And I'm Head Girl and you have no reason to use your wand on him. He's twelve, Potter. Use your brain. Take points off him, or give him detention, but don't _ever_ so much as even _think_ about attacking him with your wand" she snarled and he hung his head and turned away from her.

"You're older than him, and know far more advanced spells than he could ever dream of. You need to grow up and stop resorting to your wand to fix everything" she warned him and turned on her heel and stalked away up the corridor and James followed her sullenly.

* * *

Roxanne sighed and leaned against the common room chair, her eyes gazing into the hot embers as Remus finished his assignment and screwed the top into his ink bottle. He glanced up and saw her eyes narrowed and he raised an eyebrow.

"I'll give you a galleon for your thoughts" he told her and she turned her head slowly, her eyes meeting his.

"Pay up then" she exclaimed holding out her hand and he fished through his pocket only to pull out a bronze Knut, a brightly coloured purple pebble and a dark grey button. She laughed at the contents and he handed over the Knut but she shook her head and pushed his hand away.

"You keep it. I'll let you have them for free" she said and he shrugged, placing the money and other objects back into his pocket.

"What's up?"

She shrugged as her eyes went back to staring into the fire.

"I was just thinking about how this is my last year, and I need to make it mean something. You know, it needs to be different somehow. Like, I feel like I need to make something of it before it's too late and I'm looking back over this year with regrets. And I don't want that, not for me, not for you and not for anyone else. It needs to be the best year possible. I want to make the small things the big things" she murmured and he nodded slowly, slightly lost for words.

"How are you going to do that?" he asked getting up and sitting beside her, wrapping his arms around his knees and watching her carefully.

She shrugged once more.

"That's the thing; I don't know. All I can think of is making the most of things, and I have no clue what things to do that for, or how to do that exactly. Maybe I can allow people second chances, or force myself to stay awake in Muggle Studies. Maybe I can accept change, and appreciate the things that not many people are fortunate enough to have. But even with all of that, it feels like something is missing from it all" she whispered and he scratched his head thoughtfully.

"Has someone put something in your juice?" Remus asked sceptically and she smiled and shook her head.

"I've just been thinking about my years leading up to now. I was always so childish, and I didn't care. There was always tomorrow, you know? But now… Now there's just today. After everything that's been happening lately, how do we know if we'll even get a tomorrow? How do we know if we'll still be fighting another day?"

Remus sat there, mulling all of this over.

"No one really does. You say you want to give second chances, but in these times, people are lucky enough to get a first chance because of all the mistrust going around. Just be careful with it, okay? And as far as accepting change goes... Maybe you can accept people for who they are, instead of who you think they are. Maybe you can take a more positive approach towards people and events. Why don't you do something that no one else has ever dreamed of doing? Surprise people, show them the real you and live each day as if it's your last" he told her and she nodded slowly.

"That's a good start, Remus; but there's also something important missing. Really important."

He shook his head slowly, looking at her curiously.

"Which is?"

"Love. This year I want to fall in love with someone, and I don't care if it hurts me. I just want to feel it for the very first time" she murmured and he nodded and smiled.

"Will you let me know what it's like?"

"You don't want to experience it?" Roxanne asked in a shocked tone and he shrugged.

"Even if I wanted to, I probably never will."

There was a pause, before Roxanne said; "Remus…Before you said that I should accept people for who they are instead of who I think they are. What did you mean by that?"

Remus thought for a moment then opened his mouth but before he could respond, the portrait hole swung open and Sirius wondered into the common room and grinned when he saw them.

"Well don't you two look cosy" he stated and Remus distanced himself from Roxanne and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Relax Moony, I was kidding. Have you been doing homework this entire time? It's almost twelve" he exclaimed checking his watch.

"What happened to you? Roxanne got back from Braves' office hours ago" the boy replied and Sirius shrugged in return.

"I had an hour's detention afterwards and then I was at the kitchens, getting food. And I was er… Corrupting a fifth year after that" he answered slyly and Roxanne rolled her eyes behind his back.

"What are you still doing up, Scott? I expected you to be asleep by this time" Sirius said turning to her and she shrugged.

"I wasn't tired after I got back and decided to keep Remus company. Who did you take advantage of this time?" she snapped and he grinned devilishly.

"Geraldine Waters, Hufflepuff Chess Champion last year. And it was equally her decision if you must know" he added wiggling his eyebrows.

"Spare me the details" Roxanne groaned and the boy shrugged once more and ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing it back down from its rumpled state.

"Prongs has got his work cut out for him if he thinks he's going to win over the Lady Evans this year, I saw them on the way back from the kitchens, bickering again" he said and suddenly Roxanne's eyes lit up.

"Honestly, I doubt she will ever fall for his clumsy charm" he added and Remus smiled fondly.

"I'm sure she will eventually, James is certain of it" he responded and Sirius shrugged.

"I'll make sure of it. That's one of the differences I'll make this year. I'll go down in history as being the girl who finally convinced Lily Evans to go out with James Potter" Roxanne announced and Sirius snorted.

"Good luck to you, you're gunna need it. That woman is crazy stubborn, I wouldn't be surprised if she took you down for even suggesting it" he answered and she rolled her eyes.

"I'll do it subtlety, of course. Besides, James is Head Boy. He's bound to mature up a bit" she said and Remus raised his eyebrows.

"I'd love to see the day."

Sirius was about to pipe up with an argument when they heard someone calling Roxanne's name from the staircase.

"Roxy?"

Alice made her way into the common room, her dressing gown lopsided as though she'd put it on in a hurry. Her face was tear streaked and the moment Roxanne caught sight of this she leapt to her feet and hurried over to her friend who was holding a crumpled piece of parchment.

"Alice, what is it? Are you alright?"

The girl shook her head, her hair bouncing on her shoulders as she did.

"Not really. I just got a letter from Augusta. The Ministry recovered a body from a nearby Death Eater raid. She wants me to go with her when she identifies the body. They-they think it m-might be Frank" she collapsed into Roxanne's arms and her sobs rocked her entire body as Sirius and Remus sat there paralysed, not having a clue of what to do. Because what do you do when someone's world is turned upside down?

* * *

**A/N: **

**The title of this chapter is the song 'All the Small Things' by Blink 182. **

**I really hope you guys like this chapter, and if so, please be kind enough to leave me a review. It would be really helpful to know what you all think. If you have any tips or advice then please let me know those too, it would be really appreciated.**

**Thank you to all those who have read this, and if so, for coming back to it. **

**It's hard writing a new story because I'm afraid of not doing the best job for all of you, and I would really like to do so. But I'm not going to know if I am if you guys don't let me know. So please, please review :) **

**Anyway, I'm going to leave you all to it.**

**Love always,**

_**LilyHeartsJames**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial**

_LilyHeartsJames_

**Summary: **_It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between. _

**Disclaimer: **If I told you I created Harry Potter then you wouldn't believe me; 'cause everyone knows J.K Rowling did it. Unless you've been living under a rock :P

**Dedication: **To my holidays, they were amazing! It was so good just to relax and get away from all the homework and early mornings.

**Notes: **I was pretty keen to put up another chapter, I want to kick start this story before writing another one for JATBS. Thanks to everyone who read this, and if they decided to come back and read some more :)

* * *

**] CHAPTER FOUR [**

_**Have Faith in Me**_

"Maybe one of us should have gone with her…"

"She didn't want us to; it's something she needs to do with Frank's mother."

"But she needs our support! I mean, what if it is him?"

"It won't be him, I don't believe it."

"But what if it is? She loved Frank…"

"Lily! You're talking about him as if he's already dead. It's not going to be Frank, he's tough, and he would never leave Alice. You'll see. He's just busy doing secret Auror stuff" Roxanne exclaimed as they threw their books onto the couch in the Head's Dormitory.

The redhead sighed and went to the kitchen to get them drinks, not knowing what to say. Alice had left that morning with permission from the headmaster and would be back at lunch time with the news, and until then they had to wait.

"Lils, Frank is okay. He's probably just unable to communicate at the moment. It's like this all the time in the Auror office; they're always out of touch when they're in the field for long periods of time. You'll see" Roxanne said taking the drink from her with thanks and sipped on it slowly, closing her eyes as she leaned back into the couch.

"I suppose… I just really hope you're right" Lily replied and joined her on the couch, sliding their books onto the table.

"You know, you've got it good here. Nice, comfortable couch, your own kitchen, your own bedroom, your own common room… I don't get why you complain" her friend stated and Lily narrowed her eyes at her.

"Okay, okay; I do know why you complain. But James can't really be that bad can he?"

Lily opened her mouth to reply but before she could the portrait swung open to reveal the said person entering with Peter, Sirius and Remus. He grinned at the girls and waved hello and Roxanne waved back.

Sirius hurried over and jumped onto the couch opposite them, kicked his shoes off and shoved his feet into the corner of the couch and let out a huge sigh.

"This is the life. I gotta tell ya, Prongsy, you have got it good. Oi Wormtail, bring me something to nibble on from the fridge, will ya?" he called out and Lily rolled her eyes as Peter rummaged through the fridge and came back with a few treacle tarts.

"Oh, hell yes! Why sneak down to the kitchens when I can just sneak from your fridge instead?" Sirius cried ecstatically as he began devouring the tarts and throwing the rubbish at Peter, expecting him to catch it.

"Come sneaking around in here and you'll get what's coming to you" Lily threatened and the boy just shrugged carelessly.

"Have you heard anything from Alice?" Remus asked pushing Sirius' feet to make room and sitting down opposite them.

The girls both shook their heads glumly and sighed.

"We'll find out at about lunch time" Roxanne informed him and he nodded sombrely.

"That would be a gut-wrenching thing to deal with. Not knowing if it is or it isn't him" he answered as he kept pushing Sirius' feet off of his lap. "Down, Padfoot."

"It's not going to be him" Roxanne said firmly and Sirius shrugged at her.

"We'll find out sooner or later."

Lily sighed and stood up from the couch and took her glass over to the sink where James was cutting up some oranges.

"Hang in there, you need to stay positive, for everyone involved" he said kindly and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I know that; I'm doing the best I can" she snapped as she rinsed her cup and left it to drain on the sink and walked off into her bedroom.

"I'll go. She hasn't had the best day, she worries too much" Roxanne murmured and James shrugged.

"'Cause she would have snapped if Remus had said it" he responded dryly and she grimaced.

"She has some other issues to mix in with it. Don't worry about her, I'll sort her out" she said and made her way into the Head Girl's room.

* * *

"I'm bored. I thought free periods were supposed to be fun" Sirius whined and Remus sighed loudly.

"Well do something productive, like homework" he said flicking a page in the magazine he was reading.

"Borrrring! Let's prank someone. Say Snape?"

James chuckled.

"Trust you to be the one to think of that. What exactly do you have in mind?"

"That my friend will all come in time when we have planned it" Sirius said pushing Peter's feet off the table and stealing a piece of parchment from the stack of magazines.

"Now, he's afraid of shampoo-"

"How on earth do you know that?" Remus asked incredulously and Sirius shook his head.

"Have you _seen_ his hair?"

"… Good point."

"Okay so I'll bewitch a giant…"

James groaned. Another childish prank of Sirius'. Why couldn't they just hex him and be done with it?

* * *

"Okay and go!" Marlene muttered under her breath and pushed Dorcas roughly into a tall black fifth year by the name of Arnie Dignon, Hufflepuff's beater for the Quidditch team. Dorcas gasped and immediately began apologising straight away and he raised his eyebrows before scurrying away from her, glancing back over his shoulder every now and then.

"Right. I'll aim better next time" Marlene mumbled embarrassingly and grabbed Dorcas' hand and dragged her down the corridor.

"Marlene, is pushing me into Ben really necessary? Can't I just go up and talk to him?"

Marlene chuckled at her.

"Of course not, first you need to talk to him after coincidentally bumping into him-"

"Coincidentally?"

Marlene shrugged.

"As far as he knows anyway. And then after that, you can go up to him in the library after lunch during his free period and talk to him" she explained and Dorcas sighed.

The girls had been working on a game plan all morning, well Marlene had been, Dorcas was just agreeing with her and being shushed every time she tried to suggest something. Marlene had then paid a third year boy who was in Ben's ballroom dancing club to tell them what Ben's time table for the day was so that they could work around their plans. They were just tailing him to his Arithmancy class when Marlene had tried and failed the first step of their plan.

"Besides, if you just go up to him and start talking to him he'll think you're some crazy obsessed girl whom he barely talks to trying to get in his pants or something" Marlene told her and Dorcas gasped.

"But I don't want to-"

"I know that, but he doesn't. Trust me, this will work out. Now… Oh! I just got a new brainwave! You could get him to show you how to ballroom dance! It's perfect I mean-"

"I already know how to ballroom dance, I learnt three summers ago for my sister's wedding. Remember?"

Marlene bit her lip.

"Well then why don't you join the ballroom dancing club? You will get lots of chances to talk to him and impress him. Or you could pretend you're bad and get him to help you out and-"

"I don't want to join any clubs, I'm focusing on my schooling" Dorcas reminded her and Marlene raised an eyebrow.

"By focusing on a boy? Yeah, sure. But it would be good if you could have the chance to talk to him every Wednesday night though, right?"

Dorcas frowned.

"How do you know-"

"I paid that kid extra for the meeting times and place, just in case we had to go to plan B" she told her with a wink and Dorcas frowned.

"What's plan B?"

"We'll get to that later. Now-"

"!"

Everyone turned and with astonished expressions, they saw Snape running along the corridor in nothing but a fluffy pink bath robe screaming at the top of his lungs, his hair ruffled as if he had been attacked. As he rushed past, the girls turned to then see a giant bottle of shampoo with hands and legs pursuing Snape with a scrubbing brush and a bottle of conditioner, singing to him.

"_Time to wash, wash, wash your hair. Wash it 'til it smells like pear. Time to scrub, scrub, in the tub 'cause no one likes a dirty grub! Oh, Snapey-Poo! Don't forget your shampooooooooo!"_

They giggled as it began to run faster and the screams of Severus Snape were heard from the corridor below and sure enough, the Marauders hurried past sniggering, all but Remus who was shaking his head at the other thee and following them anyway, most likely to make sure they didn't get into any trouble.

"Honestly, those boys. Where do they come up with that sort of stuff?" Marlene asked chortling as they made their way through the crowds which had dispersed to let the shampoo past.

Dorcas shrugged and sighed.

"Are you sure I should join the ballroom dancing club? What if I'm too obvious?"

Marlene shook her head at her.

"You won't be, I'll help you to conceal all that. Besides, it'll be worth it one day when you and Ben are married and have six children" she said and Dorcas' eyes widened.

"Six!"

"Just a figure of speech, love. Alright, let's get going. We're going to find the leader of the BDC to see if we can get you signed up" she exclaimed excitedly and grabbed her hand and they hurried into the crowd.

* * *

"Ha! There he is, let's get him!" Sirius called pointing over at the beech tree where Snape sat looking glum. He had already managed to change into another pair of school clothes as the Marauders had stolen his others when he was in the bathroom.

"Hello there Snivelly. You're looking cleaner than usual" James said standing in front of him looking smug.

Snape's black eyes met James' hazel ones and narrowed.

"Go away, Potter. Don't you have Mudbloods to be chasing?"

James glared at Snape now, his hand itching towards his wand.

"I thought that would be you, considering you've been obsessed with Evans since first year" he snarled and Snape shook his head.

"She doesn't want you, you know. And that irks you, because you can't cross her off your tally list."

James smirked at him.

"What makes you think I haven't already? It's no wonder she hates me, I wouldn't give her the time of day after-"

This was the last straw, not wanting to hear it or believe it, Snape jumped to his feet with his wand out pointing at James, and three other wands were aimed back at him, except for Remus who was rubbing his temple.

"Look, James, you've had your fun. Let's go, we've got class soon" Remus tried to reason but his plea fell upon deaf ears.

"You're lying, she would never so much as look at you in that way" Snape growled and James laughed mirthlessly.

"That makes two of us then, doesn't it Snivellus? Why would she want a slimy, Dark Arts loving git like yourself?"

"Sec-"

"STUPEFY!" James roared and Snape was thrown off of his feet mid-spell and hit the ground, his wand falling out of his hand out of reach. He made a dive for it, but Sirius pointed his wand at it.

"Accio!" he shouted and the wand soared towards him, catching it in his non-wand hand.

"Oh, well isn't this unfortunate, ay Snape? There are four of us, and one of you. And you just so happen to have no wand. Shame really, I would have liked more of a challenge" he spat, throwing the wand away and it landed on the grass behind them.

"What are you going to do? Kill me?" Snape asked from the ground, his chest heaving up and down hastily.

Sirius let out a huge snort.

"That's more your style, isn't it? You and your Death Eater friends I mean" he snapped and Snape was the one to laugh this time.

"You had your chance, Black, and you walked away. Actually, ran away more like it. But your brother seems to have stepped up and he's going to take your place instead" Snape replied, relishing in the information he had and was successful when Sirius' mouth tweaked, not knowing what to do or say.

"What would anyone want with my brother? He's almost as brainless as you, Snivellus" he said carefully and Snape rolled his eyes.

"You came here to harm me, and now you finally have your chance. Just go on and have your way. Do it. Go on. DO IT!"

Sirius and James both raised their wands and just as they were about to hex him, a spell shot over Remus' head and hit both James and Sirius in the back and their wands soared out of their hands, and fell into the hands of the Head Girl.

"Get away from him! Leave him alone!" she shouted and made her way to the front and stood in front of the Slytherin on the ground.

"Lily-" James started to say but she interrupted him.

"What is wrong with you? Did I not have this conversation with you last night, Potter?" Lily snarled and James cleared his throat.

"To be quite frank, that was in regards to that second year student. This greasy slimeball is older and-"

"Cornered by the three of you! That was in regards to everyone, don't you dare twist my words around! What did he ever do to you?" she asked angrily advancing on James who sighed.

"Well if you count the fact that he exists-"

"You are such an arse, James Potter! You have not changed one bit! I'm reporting you to Professor McGonagall, all of you!" she threatened and James narrowed his eyes at her.

"You can't do that-"

"I sure as hell can and I will! You can kiss your Headship goodbye, Potter. Now get back to the castle this second" Lily said throwing them back their wands and Sirius stowed his in his pocket, glaring daggers at Snape.

"You'll get what's coming to you, Snivelly" he warned and Lily pointed her wand at him.

"Get back to the castle, Black. _Now_" she told him, glaring right at him and Remus grabbed Sirius by the arm and tried to pull him away. He finally obeyed and managed to pull his arm from Remus' strong grasp and began retreating with Peter.

"Go, Potter" Lily commanded and James turned around and began to leave with the others.

Lily held out a hand to help Snape up who spat at the ground.

"I don't want or need help from someone like you, Mudblood" he snarled and before Lily could do or say anything, James swung around and aimed his wand at him.

"Rictusempra!" he yelled and hit Snape squarely in the chest.

"GET BACK TO THE CASTLE, NOW!" Lily yelled walking over to him and shoving him roughly in the chest so that he almost fell backwards.

"He called you a-"

"I know what he called me and I don't need to you to defend me! I didn't ask for it!" she snarled and James glared at her disbelievingly.

"He is a disgusting, worthless piece of shit and thinks he can get away with insulting you and I won't have it" James told her angrily and Lily shook her head at him.

"You don't get it. I don't care. I _hate _you. I don't want you defending me over someone calling me names. I don't want you defending me at all. Just leave me the hell alone, Potter" she snarled and he gritted his teeth before turning his back and following his friends who were waiting for him. He pushed past Remus who tried to say something and lead the way to the castle, not even looking back over his shoulder at her.

Lily sighed and pointed her wand at Snape and said "Finite."

"That's ten points from Slytherin" she muttered tonelessly and Snape wiped sweat from his brow and got to his feet as she turned her back and made her way back to the castle. He retrieved his wand and called after her.

"Did you sleep with him? Potter I mean."

She turned back to him, her eyes close to tears.

"Why are you asking me that?"

Snape moved towards her, his now clean hair bouncing on his shoulders and shining in the sun.

"He told me you did. Did you?"

She averted her gaze and turned her back on him.

"What does it matter to you?" she asked over her shoulder and stormed away, now even more furious at James. She had never slept with him, but Snape had hurt her, more than enough times.

Snape closed his eyes tightly, not even daring to open them because he knew what threatened to fall from them if he did. His heart was shattered. That was more than an admission. He kneeled onto the ground before him, wanting nothing more than to crawl into a ball and die slowly. The very thing he never wanted had happened.

All of the images in his head of telling Lily how he felt, how sorry he was died before him. For now, Lily could never allow Snape to be her first as he had always hoped. Potter had beaten him to it. And for that, James Potter would pay.

* * *

Lily sat at the Gryffindor table pushing her roast potatoes around on her plate, glaring daggers at the jug of pumpkin juice. Roxanne, Marlene and Dorcas glanced at one another knowingly, and Marlene was the first one to ask.

"So, Lily. How was your morning?"

"Fine" was the reply as meat joined the now mashed potatoes.

"Everything alright, Lily?" Dorcas asked and Lily stabbed her carrots roughly.

"Never felt better."

Mushed carrots now joined the growing mountain of wasted food.

"Lils, what's bothering you?"

Lily glanced up at Roxanne as if she couldn't believe what was wrong with her.

"Who do you think? The person that's _always_ bothering me" she snapped and then winced at her harsh tone. Roxanne frowned at her and Lily shrugged apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I'm just… Not in a good mood" she explained and Marlene grimaced.

"We figured."

"There's Alice!" Dorcas pointed out and sure enough their friend was just walking through the doors, her face holding no expression whatsoever. Lily's fork clattered to her plate and she stood up and hurried over, taking hold of her friends hand and pulling her into a huge hug, not even wanting to ask what was on all of their minds.

They walked over to the table together and sat down and they waited with baited breath as Alice pushed away the plate in front of her.

"It wasn't Frank" she murmured and Roxanne grinned.

"I told you it wouldn't be him."

"But Alice, why are you still sad? It wasn't Frank" Dorcas asked, placing a hand over her friend's.

"Because he's still out there somewhere, un-contactable. He hasn't replied to both me and his Mother and we're worried something has happened. He usually always replies straight away and the Auror office doesn't know where he is. They lost track of him after he and his partner got caught by a couple of Death Eaters. It was his partner's body" she responded and wiped away a few stray tears.

The other four looked at each other worriedly, not expecting this. They hadn't hoped the body would be Frank's, but they didn't think he would be missing. This wasn't supposed to happen. He had only been in the job for six months.

Alice sighed.

"He's either lying in a ditch somewhere or… I can't be here right now. Will you let the Professor's know I won't be in class? I need to lie down for a while" she said softly and she stood up and left the table, keeping her head down as she left the Great Hall.

Lily sighed loudly and Remus was suddenly beside her.

"What happened?" he asked and Lily turned away from him.

"It wasn't Frank" Roxanne explained and he nodded.

"Thank Merlin. What's happening now?"

"We don't know. It was his partner's body. They lost track of him. As far as the Auror office knows, the Death Eaters have captured him" she said quietly so the fifth years beside them wouldn't hear.

"He'll be alright, it's Frank. He has to be" Marlene said positively and Remus nodded.

"Of course he will be. Lily…" he turned to the Head Girl who continued massacring the food on her plate.

"I'm sorry, I should have-"

"You're a Prefect, Remus. You can't stand around and let them attack people and do nothing about it. You know your responsibilities" she answered and he sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just hard-"

"You shouldn't make any exceptions for them! They were bullying him. It's not okay, Remus."

"I know that, Lily. But please don't report them. I'll work on them" he pleaded and she shook her head disbelievingly.

"You might be perfectly fine letting them get away with everything but I'm not. I warned Potter and he ignored it. Besides, I already went to McGonagall. He knew what he was doing. My hands were tied" she told him curtly and Remus nodded.

"Right, fair enough. I'm sorry, it won't happen again" he promised.

"Do you mean they won't go around cursing people left, right and centre or you won't sit by and let it happen?"

He shrugged.

"Both. I do have responsibilities, and I can't let them continue. You're absolutely right. And even though they won't admit it, they know it too" he said getting up and leaving the table.

"Okay what happened?" Roxanne asked and Lily sighed angrily.

"Potter, Black and Pettigrew had Snape cornered down by the lake and he didn't even have his wand. They were taunting him and before they could do any real damage I stopped them and told them to go back to the castle. And to top it off, Potter told Severus that I slept with him! I cannot believe he had the nerve to-"

"You slept with him!"

Lily suddenly narrowed her eyes at Marlene who quickly backtracked.

"Oh, I mean, how dare he tell such lies!"

"I know!" Lily exclaimed stabbing her meat with her knife and Dorcas cleared her throat.

"Perhaps I should take this" she said prying Lily's hand from the cutlery and placing it beside her own plate.

"You reported them?" Roxanne asked and Lily nodded.

"You realise James and maybe even Remus could lose their badges?"

"I didn't mention Remus, but Potter deserves it. I warned him just last night to stop using his wand against people for no reason and he went ahead and did it anyway! He deserves to. Dumbledore must have been out of his mind to even consider choosing Potter as Head Boy" she replied heatedly and Roxanne shrugged.

"Maybe he saw potential in him?"

Lily snorted.

"Potential to abuse his power" she said snidely and Roxanne sighed and was about to reply when McGonagall suddenly made her way down the table towards the boys where James was poking his sausages around on his plate glumly.

"Potter, Black and Pettigrew, follow me" she commanded and the three boys glanced at each other before rising from the table and following her out.

As they passed Lily, James stared hard at her and didn't say a word. He averted his gaze and acted as though he hadn't even set eyes upon her.

Lily turned back to find Roxanne, Marlene and Dorcas frowning at her and she rolled her eyes.

"I am not the bad guy here, if they hadn't cornered him and tried to curse him they wouldn't be in this mess. And you know I'm right" she said standing from the table.

"Where are you going?" Marlene asked as Lily swung her bag over her shoulder.

"To the library. I need to get some homework done before class. I'll meet you there" she said and she strode off past the students in the hall and was gone.

"She was right wasn't she?" Dorcas asked turning to the other two who nodded solemnly.

"It just sucks" Marlene muttered and Roxanne and Dorcas agreed silently.

* * *

Sirius and Peter waited outside the classroom, already having received their detentions. James however, had to remain inside.

"Never have I heard of such behaviour from a Head Boy in all my years at Hogwarts!" McGonagall began and James bit back the smart arse retort he had.

"It was reckless, disobedient and disgusting behaviour. Three on one! What on earth possessed you?" she continued and he stayed silent, not having anything that wouldn't get him into any more trouble to say.

"Even after Miss. Evans had given you directions to stop and go back to the castle, you ignored this and hexed Mr. Snape regardless. When Professor Dumbledore appointed you Head Boy did that mean nothing to you? You are not a child anymore, Potter! You're an adult, so start acting like it!"

James had had enough. "He called her-"

"That is irrelevant! And gives you no grounds to commit what you did! You had an order and yet you continued behaving poorly any way! I ought to strip you of your duty!"

James glanced up at her, not knowing if he should believe what he was hearing.

"However, I'm not going to. You need this matter of responsibility, and although I can't see it Professor Dumbledore stands by his decision regardless. But mark my words, Potter. Anymore of this nonsense and I will take that badge from you. Do I make myself clear?"

He nodded slowly.

"Yes, Professor" he replied and her nostrils flared.

"I will take twenty points from Gryffindor and you will receive detention tomorrow night along with Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew. I understand you have Quidditch tryouts tonight after dinner?"

James nodded.

"I pray that you sort out your issues and behave in a manner suitable for a Head Boy, or I will strip you of your Captain spot as well. Good luck tonight, Potter" she said picking up her stack of papers from the desk.

James swept from the classroom and met with Sirius and Peter outside and together they walked towards class discussing what Professor McGonagall had said.

"You are such a lucky bastard" Sirius reminded him and James nodded and grinned. "I thought for sure she was taking your badge!"

"I guess I'm just too good looking" James said puffing out his chest and Peter nodded in agreement, making James and Sirius glance at each other worriedly.

"Err, thanks, Pete" James said nodding at him, feeling slightly creeped out.

"What have we got now?" Sirius asked and James shrugged.

"Charms" Peter piped up and they made their way to the charms classroom discussing the Quidditch tryouts.

* * *

Lily was sitting on the couch in the Head's Dormitory flipping through a text book when James entered. She looked up and smirked.

"Come to pack your bags to go back to Gryffindor Tower?" she asked snidely and James shook his head.

"I actually just came to get my broom and Quidditch gear, if you must know" he said curtly and Lily threw the book aside.

"What are you talking about?" she asked getting to her feet. He smiled down at her.

"Oh you haven't heard? I'm still Head Boy. Nice try, Evans" he said turning on his heel.

"That is bullshit! Why would you still be-"

"It seems McGonagall must have a soft spot for me after all" he said over his shoulder and walking into his room and Lily got up and followed him in.

"Like hell! Why on earth would anyone have a soft spot for you?" she asked at the door and James shrugged as he pulled off his robes.

"I must have an irresistible charm" he said winking and Lily glared at him as he pulled off his shirt, revealing his nicely toned abs which Lily ignored.

"Irresistible my arse! What did you do? Offer to pay her?"

He grinned as he undid the belt on his trousers.

"No, she just told me to be a good boy and gave me good luck for the tryouts. Now if you don't mind, I need to get dressed. Although you're welcome to stay and give me some luck of your own if you like" he told her cheekily and winked.

She raised her eyebrows.

"Oh but according to you, I already have. And believe me when I say that I would never touch you with a ten foot pole, despite what you go around saying" she snapped and turned to leave.

"What are you talking about?"

She laughed and turned back to face him.

"He told me what you said, and it just proves that all you want is to add me as another notch in your bedpost. I guess I was right in thinking you don't have a heart after all" she snarled and left the room with James smacking himself on the forehead.

"Idiot" he muttered as he pulled off his pants and began to dress himself in his Quidditch robes. He heard Lily's door slam and he sighed. Of course, that git would go and tell Lily anything to make her hate him that much more, if that was even possible.

* * *

Lily sat beside Marlene and Dorcas in the stands with a scarf wrapped around her neck keeping her warm. She waved to Roxanne who flew past and then pulled her coat around her tightly. Her light grey beanie sat on top of her head keeping her warm, her fringe was hanging just above her eyebrows and her hair was tied into two long plaits on either side of her head.

It was freezing, and the two girls rugged up beside her were blowing circles in the air with their breath, laughing as Marlene's became entwined with Dorcas'. Lily smiled at them and Dorcas turned to her.

"I talked to Ben today! In the library!" she said excitedly and Lily gasped.

"Wow, Dorcas! That's great! What happened?"

"Well…"

**-Flashback-**

_After successfully pushing Dorcas into Ben after Charms, Marlene waited with bated breath at one of the round tables pretending to study. Dorcas was over at the bookshelves, picking a few books to study with._

_As she walked back over towards Marlene, she suddenly tripped and the books in her arms went everywhere as she fell to the floor right beside Ben's table. Marlene clapped a hand to her forehead and groaned softly as Ben swiftly leapt to his feet._

"_Hold on" she muttered swivelling around in her seat to get a better look at them._

_Ben knelt down beside Dorcas who was staring up at him with a surprised look upon her face._

"_Are you alright?" he asked in a concerned tone as she pulled her to her feet._

"_I am so sorry! I didn't see your bag…" she said pointing at it and he kicked it under the table. _

"_I shouldn't leave it lying around like that, I'm sorry" he responded as he helped her to sit down and then picked up her books for her._

"_Oh, thank you! Do you mind if I share this table with you?" she asked slightly blushing._

_He frowned and glanced over at Marlene's table and she quickly turned back around, wincing at being caught watching them. "Smooth" she muttered to herself._

"_Isn't that your friend over there?" he asked and Dorcas cleared her throat._

"_It is, but she prefers studying alone" she answered according to the plan and he nodded._

"_Sure" he said placing her books on the table beside him. "Didn't I see the two of you studying together over the weekend?"_

_Dorcas froze, having no clue what to say and then shook her head._

"_Uh, she was just helping me out. She generally prefers it on her own, but when she gets asked for help she usually doesn't mind" she lied and he nodded with a smile._

"_I don't mind either way to be honest. What did you need help with?"_

_Dorcas faltered and glanced down at her books._

"_Err… My Charms essay?"_

_He smiled at her. _

"_I can help you if you like, I don't mean to brag but I do alright in that subject" he offered and she nodded eagerly, pulling out a spare piece of parchment that didn't have her completed Charm's essay on it._

"_Sure, that would be really helpful, thank you" she said grabbing a quill and some ink and he sat beside her and pulled the books towards him._

"_I've got the essay question right here…" he said fumbling threw his papers and Dorcas got herself comfortable and began listening to him read it out, nodding at everything he explained. _

**-End of Flashback-**

Lily let out a loud giggle as Dorcas replayed the event for them.

"Dorcas, you excel at Charms!"

The girl nodded, blushing furiously.

"It was the first thing that popped into my head; I didn't know what else to say!" she exclaimed and Marlene smiled happily.

"Ah, you've made me proud" she said patting her shoulder and they heard a voice call out Dorcas' name. They turned and saw Ben making his way over the stands, a huge grin over his face.

"Oh my God, oh my God! He's coming over!" Dorcas said gleefully as he stepped over the last seat and put his hands on his hips.

"How are you girls? It's cold tonight isn't it?" he greeted and they all nodded, smiling hugely at him.

He cleared his throat, feeling slightly awkward at the lack of response he received.

"Sooo… If you need any help practicing ballroom dancing then just let me know okay?" Ben told Dorcas and she nodded.

"Of cour-"

"Wait, aren't you a fantas-"

Marlene stepped on Lily's foot deliberately and pulled her into a hug.

"Isn't it exciting about Roxanne?" she asked pointing over at their friend and giving Lily a meaningful look who caught on quickly.

"Oh! Yes of course it is, it's great! She's going to get it for sure" Lily said nodding and waved as Jacob made his way over to them.

"Ladies, Ben" he said nodding and shaking Ben's hand.

"Hey, Jake. How's things?" Lily asked and he shrugged at her.

"Not too bad, I've been hearing rumours that you tried to get James' badge taken from him" he said and Lily's eyes instantly narrowed at the mention of the Quidditch Captain who was just about ready to curse some of the students trying out for a Chaser's position and were busy chatting amongst one another.

"I didn't try to; he behaved horribly and ganged up on Snape. Besides, he's still got his stupid badge anyway, not that he deserves it" she muttered darkly and Jacob chuckled.

"Well don't add this to your hit list, it grows bigger by the day I swear" he teased and she rolled her eyes.

"It still has plenty of room for that-"

"Hey Lily" Remus and Peter greeted sidling up beside them.

"Hi Remus. Peter" she added darkly to the smaller boy who winced and waved at her.

"Why don't we get some closer seats?" Dorcas suggested and Marlene nodded.

"Sure, that would be great" she agreed and they lead the group to the front of the stands.

Jacob cleared his throat and smiled at Lily.

"So, how's Transfiguration coming along?" he asked as they sat down and Lily groaned.

"As horrible as ever" she responded and he shrugged.

"I could help you if you like, I wouldn't mind" he said and she thought about it for a second before nodding.

"Sure, that would be great" she replied and he nodded.

"So, tomorrow?"

"After lunch I have a free period" she said and he smiled.

"So do I. Do you want to meet in the library then?" he asked and she nodded back at him.

"Okay, I really appreciate this" she told him and he shrugged.

"I don't mind, I like helping out a friend" he said and they turned and watched as James shouted at the fourth year girls who were giggling madly.

"If you lot aren't going to take this seriously you can clear out now!" he yelled and they took one look at one another and ran off the pitch together laughing and glancing back at him.

"For the love of Merlin…" James moaned and Sirius chuckled.

"I could have clubbed them over the head, Captain" he saluted, holding his Beater's bat by his side and James shook his head.

"Maybe later. Alright, so can I have the team members already chosen over here please?"

A tall, muscled, blonde haired Gryffindor sixth year made his way over beside Sirius and James sighed.

"Thank you, Wood" he exclaimed and Michael Wood nodded in return.

"Now I need two more Chasers and a Seeker" he said as Roxanne sat impatiently on her broom over by the goals, waiting for some potential Chasers to come at her.

"Roxanne looks so bored" Jacob pointed out and the others laughed.

"I don't blame her, she isn't doing anything" Remus answered.

Ben turned to Dorcas and smiled.

"So are you going to come to the meeting on Wednesday night?"

She nodded in return.

"Sure, at seven, right?"

"Yeah, we just practice some moves that we've previously learnt and then the leaders teach us some more and by the end of the meeting we dance in front of the other students and then they tell us whether or not we will be putting on a competition in front of the entire school" he explained and she smiled.

"It sounds great, do we have fixed partners or-"

"We get to choose. My partner was a seventh year last year so I don't have one yet. If you enjoy it and you wanted to, if you don't mind that is, you could be mine if you like" he said and she nodded.

"Yeah, that would be fantastic! I mean, having someone there that I know, that is" she added hastily and he nodded.

"Great."

Marlene grinned to herself as she edged along beside Lily and whispered the exchange into her ear and Lily squealed excitedly, and Marlene hushed her.

"This is so exciting" she whispered and they squeezed each other's hands happily.

* * *

James stepped out of the showers with a towel wrapped around his lower body. He was the last to leave, as usual because he liked to stay back and fly for a bit longer after training sessions. It helped him clear his mind and think things over.

He strode over to his locker and opened it to find that his clothes were missing. He sighed and leaned his head against the door frame.

"Sirius, you bastard" he said to himself and suddenly jumped when he saw someone behind him in the mirror of his locker door. He was grabbed and pushed roughly up against it and was staring into the eyes of Severus Snape who was glaring at him.

"What do you want?" James snapped and Snape aimed his wand at his throat, making it dig in.

"Vengeance! You and Lily-"

"This is what this is all about? God! You are so-"

"Don't even think of calling me names when I've got the upper position!" Snape snarled and James rolled his eyes.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, she hates me even more now" he answered trying to push Snape off of him but the boy had surprising strength.

"It doesn't change anything! You… And her! How could she ever even think of…?" Snape seemed to be rendered wordless of the situation, not knowing what to call it and James smirked, knowing he had information that tortured Snape more than he could with his wand.

"She loved it! It was a night full of passion! Trust me, she's a fox in bed" James lied, loving the reaction he got out of him.

"NO! Don't!" Snape shouted, making the wand dig deeper into James' neck, almost piercing his skin.

"She told me she had never wanted someone so much in her entire life! She said that in that moment no one had ever loved her that much and-"

"STOP! I have and always will love her more than you can ever-"

James laughed nastily.

"And yet, she never wanted you. And she never will. But she wants me, she's just too proud to admit it! Except for maybe that night" James bragged and it was the last straw for Snape who drew back and punched him in the face, hitting him right in the jaw but it didn't stop James from laughing at him.

"You disgust me, you know. You don't deserve her. She deserves someone who would never put her in jeopardy, someone who isn't eating right out of Voldemort's pocket! Lily deserves someone who would never turn on her when she's helping them. You remember calling her that word right? You remember her sticking up for your slimy, greasy self? You can can't you? And then you called her-"

"ENOUGH! I didn't mean to! I just… I don't need someone like her helping me!" he shouted and James shook his head.

"That's why you disgust me. You can love her, but you can't treat her right. You broke her every time you said that word; I saw it in her eyes. And I comforted her, in ways you never can-"

Snape shook him by the shoulders and punched him again and James' glasses slipped down his nose.

"You were her best friend, and she stuck up for you, like no one else would; because everyone else, even your Death Eater friends would just stand back and watch. They never cared. But she did. She fucking cared about you, and you basically slapped her in the face, you spineless prick! But don't worry, I fixed her after that. I screwed her senseless!-"

"NO! STOP! DON'T SAY THAT!" Snape yelled punching James once more and then sliding to the ground, not being able to take it anymore.

James shook his head and began to leave, but Snape suddenly turned on him.

"AVADA!-"

Before he could finish, James grabbed him by the throat and slammed him up against the wall and pounded him on it a few more times before throwing him onto the ground.

"You dirty piece of shit! I lied! I fucking lied alright! I never slept with her! Lily would never give me the time of day! And no matter how badly you treat her, she still looks out for you! You don't realise how fucking lucky you are; I would give anything for her to love me-"

"She doesn't love me; she loves me as a friend-"

"I know, and that's more than she'll ever love me! So you listen to me! You start treating her right, or I'll be the one killing you, do you understand me? I swear I will kill you if you ever so much as make her sad just the smallest bit!" James yelled picking him up and pushing him into the lockers.

"She deserves so much better than you, because you are nothing more than scum on the bottom of her shoe! And that's how you, of all people, treat her. You're a fucking hypocrite. You go around calling her that dirty word, acting as if you're all high and mighty when you have a Muggle Father! You're pathetic and she deserves a better friend than you will ever be" James told him threateningly and then let go of him, and turned to leave.

"And I'll have my wand back thanks, or I'll make sure the entire school knows about your bloodline, your Death Eater friends wouldn't want you around knowing that would they?" he snarled as Snape used a shaking hand to take James' wand from his pocket and passed it to him.

James took it and tightened his towel around himself before leaving the room and made his way back to the castle, leaving Snape laying there, feeling slightly better now that he knew the truth.

* * *

James stormed into the Head Dormitory and Lily sniggered at the sight of him in the towel before seeing his bruised eye and split lip.

"Fly into a wall?" she asked snidely and James just looked at her, not knowing what to say.

"Yeah, something like that" he snapped before turning away from her.

"Who beat you up?" she asked and he sighed, turning back to her.

"Let's just say Snape won't be treating you like crap ever again" he said and before he could go into his room she grabbed his arm and spun him back to face her.

"What did you do to him?"

"Oh, don't worry he's fine. The slimy git snuck up on me in the changing rooms and decided to beat me for what I told him today. Turns out he's just as bad, as he took my wand from me before I even knew he was in there waiting for me. I toyed with him, told him things he didn't want to know so he punched me, and I let him because deep down I deserved it. Oh, and then I told him that I lied earlier today, right after he tried to kill me" he said and she stared at him with an open mouth.

"I don't believe you; he wouldn't try to kill you-"

"Of course not, I'm lying to you because I get a kick out of it. The gutless prick tried to kill me with my back turned, and then I told him to stop being a wanker to you. But I guess he owed me one didn't he?" James said tearing his arm from her grasp.

"So much for a ten foot pole" he added walking into his room and slamming his door.

Lily couldn't believe what she had heard; she needed to hear it from Snape himself.

* * *

"Did you try to kill him?" she asked as he neared the Slytherin dungeons and Snape rolled his eyes and tried to step around her.

"Did you try to kill James Potter?" she asked again and he turned back to face her.

"I should have known he would go running back to you" he said and she gasped, taking a step back from him.

"What is wrong with you? Do you realise what you almost did?"

Snape stared at her.

"I-"

"Stay away from me! Do you hear me? Don't ever come near me again; don't even bother trying to talk to me! I am through with you!" she shouted and turned on her heel.

"Why did you lie to me?"

"What?"

She spun back around, staring at him disbelievingly.

"Why did you lie to me about sleeping with him?"

"I never said that I did, I just asked what it mattered to you" she responded and his nostrils flared.

"He told me things… He said that… He said you did and… He-he made me so angry" he said dropping to his knees and Lily shook her head at him.

"That is no excuse; there is no excuse for killing someone, or trying to for that matter. His back was fucking turned for Christ's sake!"

Snape nodded slowly.

"I know, and I would have succeeded if he didn't have such quick reflexes."

Lily glared down at him, wanting nothing more to do with him.

"You are worse than he is" she said darkly and his eyes met hers.

"Don't say that to me" he begged and she shook her head at him.

"As bad as he is, he would _never _try to kill you!"

Tears slipped through his eyes as he shook his head.

"Please, don't. Have some faith in me…"

"All my faith in you is dead. You tried to kill him when his back was turned, and all this time I defended you, thinking no one could be worse than Potter and I was wrong! You are so much worse. You had no right to approach him in the first place, my life is none of your business and who I associate with is not up to you! Don't come near me ever again. I _hate_ you!"

And with that she turned on her heel and Severus Snape crumbled into a ball, wrapping his arms around himself. She hated him. No longer did he feel better about anything. This was the worst moment of his life. He would never forget the way her mouth formed the word 'hate'. He was nothing now.

* * *

**A/N:**

**The name of this chapter is the song 'Have Faith in Me' by A Day to Remember.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it. I don't know but for some reason I found all the James, Snape and Lily stuff in this chapter interesting to write. I'm not sure how all of you found it, but I would really like to know.**

**Please send me a review to let me know how I went, and any tips or advice would be very much appreciated.**

**Thank you for reading this chapter! :)**

**Love always,**

_**LilyHeartsJames**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial**

_LilyHeartsJames_

**Summary: **_It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between. _

**Disclaimer: **If I told you I created Harry Potter then you wouldn't believe me; 'cause everyone knows J.K Rowling did it. Unless you've been living under a rock :P

**Dedication: **To my Nan; it's been over a year and not a day goes by that I don't miss you. Christmas is no longer the same without our traditional rumballs. Rest In Peace.

**Notes: **I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, thanks for reading :)

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE**

_**Another Heart Calls**_

It was a fine Saturday morning, exceptional for a trip to Hogsmeade. Rugged up in scarves, beanies and jackets, the girls all held their warm butterbeers close to their faces in order to keep the hot liquid close to them to keep from the cold.

They were discussing their classes and sharing the sweets in a pile on the table that they had each purchased from Honeydukes, the cool chilly air from the opening door sweeping through and forcing coldness over them once more.

Lily clutched her mug, resting her bottom lip around the rim as she felt the warm aroma from the drink cease the cold surrounding her. Her emerald eyes were slightly glazed over as she stared out of the window, clearly lost in thought while the others laughed and changed the subject to that of Benjamin Dawes, causing Dorcas to slightly blush.

It had been several weeks since the Quidditch trials, and it was now well into October. There had been many opportunities for Dorcas and Ben to spend some time together, in their dance classes and whenever they prepared study dates. The way Marlene was after spending time with Ben was very noticeable, she was much more talkative, she gushed over him a lot and always wore a happy content smile.

Lily's eyes roamed over the group, landing on Alice who was chuckling at Marlene's teasing of her friend. She watched her carefully, and her heart split as she watched Alice lower her eyes to the table and a sad smile formed on her features, a very faraway look in her solemn eyes taking over.

Frank had been missing for weeks now, and the Ministry were unable to give out any more details of his whereabouts, or even if he was still alive. It was horrible thinking about it, and as Alice caught her eyes her mouth twitched into a sad, sombre smile, anything to give her some form of content.

Wanting to change the topic from boys altogether, Lily cleared her throat.

"Where did Roxanne get to?"

Roxanne had told them ten minutes ago that she was making her way to the bathroom, and now, her lack of presence more noticeable, Lily began to get more worried.

Alice straightened up to look around the bar, and frowned slightly as she could see her from where she was sitting.

"Do you think she's alright?" she asked, glancing at Lily anxiously who mirrored her expression.

"I'll go and see if I can find her" she mumbled, stepping out of the booth and making her way over to the bar to see the barmaid.

"Hello, Lily love. Another round?" Rosmerta asked kindly and grabbed more glasses.

Lily shook her head, her red curly locks bouncing as she did.

"No, sorry. Have you seen Roxy?"

Rosmerta raised an eyebrow suspiciously and nodded her head towards the door leading outside.

"She walked out there about five minutes ago with young Mr. Potter" she supplied and Lily's eyes turned to stare at the door curiously.

"Thanks, Rozzy" she replied, using Sirius Black's well known nickname for her, one that the barmaid usually scorned him for using. She made her way over and left the pub, pulling her jacket around her tightly as she closed the door behind her.

Her eyes roamed the street and almost doubled over in shock when she saw her friend conversing with James Potter and Sirius Black. Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin stood back from them, watching the three with interest. She saw Roxanne waving her arms around in annoyance and she decided she needed to see what was wrong. It wasn't normal for Roxanne to just up and leave without saying anything.

She made her way slowly over, her feet crunching on the leaves blown onto the pavement as Sirius glanced up and made eye contact with her before nudging James and muttering something to him under his breath. James and Roxanne immediately shot worried looks at one another before James and Sirius turned and walked away with Remus and Peter following closely behind.

Roxanne turned and walked towards Lily, smiling as she went.

"What's up?" she asked nonchalantly and the redhead gaped at her, her face going bright red in frustration.

"What's up? _What's up?_ Roxanne, we had no idea where you were, you left without saying anything. Alice was really worried, I could see it in her eyes" she snapped and Roxanne sighed, her face looking fairly guilty.

She ran her fingers through her hair agitatedly, and it reminded Lily of James, causing her to become even more annoyed.

"Quit it, you've been spending too much time with Potter. And speaking of which, what were you talking about with him?"

Roxanne's eyes slowly met Lily's who raised her eyebrows out of curiosity.

"James' father works at the Ministry. He's leading Frank's case. I was trying to get some information out of him" she murmured, taking hold of Lily's arm and pulling her over to the seat and they sat down together, Lily looking confused.

"But… Why keep it a secret?"

Roxanne sighed, a long and stressed one.

"Because I don't want to bring it up around her, or to give her false hope. God Lily, they're thinking he either killed his partner and took off, or that he was kidnapped by Death Eaters" she muttered darkly and Lily gasped loudly, her hands covering her mouth.

"Frank would never do such a thing, he's the sweetest-"

"Yes, but see, we _know_ Frank. Those people don't know him like we do. They have to look at every angle. Can you imagine what Alice would do if she found out about their theories? She's beside herself with worry already as it is. We need to keep this between us" she begged quietly and Lily looked at her for a moment, thinking it over.

Roxanne watched the trees blow in the distance and she heard Lily sigh dejectedly.

"Okay, I won't tell her. Only if you promise to tell me everything that you know" she demanded and her friend nodded, her long black hair blowing in the wind under her bright green beanie.

"Well… They've been checking the area he was sent to and it appears that there was a sign of struggle. But they found his partner's body, and there's no more evidence of Frank being anywhere. The way they see it, Frank went mad and killed Braxon, his partner" she whispered and Lily closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head fiercely.

"He wouldn't do such a thing. Frank is not that type of person" she told her defiantly and Roxanne nodded and sat back against the wall.

"That's what I said too."

* * *

"So, like I said, I don't mind if we skip out on lessons tomorrow. I have to finish off my essay for Flitwick" Benjamin explained with a swift smile and Dorcas nodded in reply, smiling up at him. She found that their weekend dance lessons they had together were getting in the way of her study, and considering she knew how to dance, and saw him Wednesday when the group was together it wouldn't be so bad if they put off studying.

"I was going to study in the library" he added as an afterthought and Dorcas sipped her butterbeer, not realising she now had a foamy moustache above her lip. "We could study together if you like."

She nodded eagerly and stopped when Marlene raised eyebrow at her. She cleared her throat and leaned back, shrugging.

"Sure, that would be great. I'll meet you there after breakfast?"

Ben grinned and nodded, rubbing the back of his neck as he did.

"Alright then, I'll see you later. Ladies" he added with a nod and made his way back over to his friends at the bar. Dorcas turned back to face Marlene who sniggered at her.

"Nice mow" she said finally trying to stifle her giggles and Dorcas frowned in confusion.

"Huh?"

Lily traced her own upper lip in the shape of a moustache and Dorcas gasped, wiping her mouth on the back her hand.

"That is _so_ embarrassing! I can't believe nobody told me! Oh, what must he think of me now?" she moaned, hanging her head in her hands. Alice patted her shoulder kindly and smiled.

"It's alright, Dorcas. Considering he still asked you out-"

Roxanne snorted.

"He set up a study date, I wouldn't call that being asked out" she exclaimed biting off the head of a chocolate frog as she received glares from both Marlene and Alice. "What?"

Marlene turned back to her best friend.

"He asked you to study with him didn't he? He probably thought it was cute!" she reassured her but Dorcas still looked worried. She glanced up at Roxanne who had a handful of her long hair across her upper lip, pretending it was a moustache.

She raised her eyebrows suggestively at her. "Oh hey, babeh. You and meh, library! Capeesh?"

Even Dorcas giggled at her friend's method of cheering her up and Roxanne grinned, puckering out her lips so that she didn't have to hold her hair in place.

"Maybe I should perform a permanent sticking charm, and then you won't have to keep pretending, Scott. You can finally embrace the real you!" a voice called over Lily's head and Roxanne's face instantly turned sour as Sirius Black forced himself in between Alice and Marlene.

"Funny, Black. If there's anyone having trouble embracing their real selves, it's you. Unleash the inner pig you really are" she snapped in reply and even Remus chuckled as he settled himself beside Dorcas and Peter.

Sirius rolled his eyes, ignoring her and clicked his fingers for some service.

"Oi, Rozzy darling! A round on me, eh?"

Rosmerta walked out from behind the bar and glared daggers at Sirius, pointing her finger at him fiercely.

"I swear Black, once more and I'll kick you out. It's _Rosmerta_" she snarled taking down the orders on her notepad. James sidled over to the group, waving cheerily as he sat comfortably beside Lily, much to her dismay.

"Nice day for it, isn't it folks?" he asked winking at Marlene who stuck out her tongue at him.

"Oh, it's perfect. I love being frozen to death" Marlene replied dryly and everyone froze upon realising what she said as everyone's gaze instantly turned to Alice who was focusing on her empty glass in front of her, ignoring everyone staring at her.

Marlene clapped a hand to her mouth, feeling disgusted with herself.

"Oh, Merlin; Alice I am so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine, let's just forget it shall we?" she interrupted, scooping up a handful Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans and put a pink one into her mouth thoughtfully. "Oh, cotton candy" she said approvingly and everyone dropped their eyes to look at something else.

"So… Err… Everyone coming to the match next week? Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw" James announced proudly, puffing out his chest and smiling at the girls. Roxanne rolled her eyes at him.

"Wouldn't miss it!" she answered and he chuckled, throwing a caramel flavoured lolly at her and she caught it in her hand with ease, and he nodded approvingly at her.

"Smart arse. What about you Dorcas? Going to watch us slaughter your boyfriend?"

There was silence once more as everyone glanced at Alice and Dorcas blushed deeply from embarrassment. Lily looked mortified as she placed a hand over her mouth and Alice picked up some more sweets to distract herself, keeping her gaze on her empty glass.

James mentally kicked himself as he ran his hands through his hair nervously, hating his guts.

"Shit" he muttered to himself and looked up to find Lily glaring daggers at him. He opened his mouth to explain that he didn't mean it, and that it was a slip of the tongue when Alice stood up from the table.

"I'll go and get the drinks" she announced and Sirius leapt to his feet and followed her before Lily could even rise from the table.

"You are such an arse, Potter" she said immediately, making sure Alice was out of earshot.

James groaned and ruffled his hair yet again.

"I know, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it, I-"

"Save it" she snapped and he sighed, turning away from her. He didn't need her making him feel worse than he already did.

"He's not my boyfriend by the way" Dorcas piped up suddenly and James shook his head and smiled at her.

"If that's your story" he replied, trying to get is previous comments off his mind.

Lily sighed and snatched a small bar of fudge from the sweets collection and began eating it quietly, constantly glancing over at the bar for Alice.

"Lily, she's fine. She's with Sirius" James assured her and her eyes narrowed at him as she turned away and ignored him.

She heard laughter, and sure enough, Alice was cackling away at something Sirius was saying and she couldn't help but smile. Lately it was a rare occasion to see her friend laugh like that, as though she had never heard anything so funny before in her life. The girls had tried countless times to get her to at least smile, and their efforts often went to waste, give or take a few triumphant moments.

It was amazing seeing the laughter reach her friends eyes, it looked as though it wasn't fake, it was a real genuine laugh and not one where people did it just to be polite. Overall she actually looked happy, something she hadn't been in weeks since hearing of Frank's disappearance.

Her eyes suddenly zoned in on James who was watching her intensely, a slight smile on his face as she raised an eyebrow questioningly at him.

"What?" she asked rudely and he shrugged.

"You have a nice smile" he said quietly, and she hated to admit it but the way he looked at her made her _almost_ believe what he was saying. But then again, this was James Potter, the boy who was pigheaded and only wanted to add her to his score card like every other girl. He was filled to the brim with comments like these, and she was sure he had several up his sleeve for every occasion.

Before she could reply, her attention was averted as she noticed Jacob Walker making his way through the pub, smiling and greeting his friends. She almost blushed when his gaze met hers and she cleared her throat loudly and excused herself.

"Jacob, how are you?" she asked, standing in front of the slightly taller boy in front of her. He had his hands in his pockets and he shrugged, smiling at her.

"I've been alright, just been doing some last minute homework" he answered and leaned against the bar and ordered a drink for himself. "Would you like one?"

She shook her head and pointed her thumb over her shoulder at her table.

"I've got one over there, I just thought I'd come and say hi" she answered and he grinned, his light dusty brown eyes lighting up at the same time as he sat down on the bar stool.

"How was your essay?" he asked and she sighed, taking a seat beside him.

"Well… I did try my best" she mumbled and he shrugged, patting her arm gently. She couldn't help but notice goose bumps rise as he moved his hand back and took hold of his mug firmly.

"Well if you've done your best then that's the important thing. That's all anyone can ask of you really" he explained wholeheartedly and she suddenly grinned and nodded.

"I know, you're right. It just… It doesn't help when Potter gives me that smug smile after getting at 'Outstanding' grade on his. I just really want to wipe it right off of his face" she muttered and Jacob chuckled, his laughing making her feel as though her heart was inflating.

"Well, how about we get together on Monday after your lesson and I can try to help you with the next one?" he suggested, shaking his short dark brown hair out of his face, his mo-hawk shaped fringe bobbing as he did.

She nodded slowly and stood.

"Sounds like a plan! Thank you, I really do appreciate your help. Thanks, Jake" she said honestly and he nodded and shrugged at her.

"It's my pleasure, Lily. I like helping you, after all, it's not every day the brightest witch of the year asks you for help" he said playfully and she rolled her eyes jokingly.

"You suck. Do you want to sit with us?" she asked and he thought about it for a moment and stood, picking up his glass.

"Sure, why not?"

* * *

There was much laughter at the table as Sirius and Jacob playfully teased one another over the upcoming match the weekend after, and even Alice was enjoying herself. Lily smiled as she watched Alice and Roxanne banter over the sweets on the table until Roxanne finally gave in and allowed Alice the chocolate frog. Marlene, Dorcas and Remus were discussing their upcoming potions class and Peter and James were sitting there quietly, which was unusual for the Head Boy.

Lily glanced at him and once again found him staring at her and she sighed, turning away and caught Jacob's eye and he winked. She blushed as Sirius raised an eyebrow at her and she sneakily stole a sweet from under Roxanne's watch when she was trying to see the latest chocolate frog card Alice got from her small collection on the table.

James was now looking at Jacob through new eyes after seeing the wink and the look on the Lily's face. That exchange had brought up a rearing jealousy as his eyes narrowed at the new found 'competition'. He glanced at Lily, who was carefully avoiding Jacob's gaze and was nibbling on a sweet and he noticed her empty glass, and everyone else's.

"Want to help me get another round, Lily?" he asked as her eyes met his and they flashed in annoyance.

She shook her head but he shrugged and grabbed her by the hand and gently dragged her over to the bar with him regardless.

"Potter, what the hell is wrong with you? Let me go, you prat!" she shouted as she wrenched her wrist from his grip and rubbed it, glaring at him furiously.

"What's with you and Walker?" he asked, ignoring her protests at the possibility of bruising. After all, she was being dramatic; he hadn't so much as left a mark.

She snorted, a look of disbelief crossing her features.

"You dragged me over here under false pretences and ask me what's going on with- wait, since when do you refer to Jacob by his surname?" she asked, slightly changing the subject.

He rolled his eyes and ordered the drinks before turning back to face her.

"Well what is going on?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Don't answer my question with a question" she snapped and he raised an eyebrow at her knowingly.

"You did that to mine!"

She narrowed her eyes at him, glaring at him for a few seconds before answering him.

"Not that it's any of your business, but nothing is going on. Now, tell me-"

"You can't be serious! He winked at you Evans, that is definitely something" he cut in and she groaned in a frustrated manner.

"So what? We're friends and he's helping me out with some of my homework. Last time I checked, it wasn't a crime" she snarled and he frowned at her.

"Seems like he wants to be a bit more than friends, Lily" he responded and she shook her head slightly, placing her hand on her hip.

"You are… Argh! It's nothing to do with you! We're just friends, drop it" she said bitterly and turned to take the tray from Rosmerta with a forced smile on her face. The barmaid raised her eyes as the redhead stormed past James who smiled and handed over the money to her.

She plopped the tray on the table and everyone immediately began reaching for their drinks, calling out thanks to James as they sipped on them. Roxanne and Alice glanced at each other, giving one another knowingly looks as Lily sat down at the table huffily and took her drink, completely ignoring James who sat beside her and reached for his own.

Marlene even caught on to Lily's new found annoyance with James and shook her head with a sigh.

"Why don't we get some more sweets after this round? We can head back up to the castle; dinner will be soon" she suggested and Lily nodded enthusiastically, anything to get away from Potter.

* * *

Lily leaned her chin in the palm of her hand as she stared into the flames of the roaring fire, hoping for some inspiration to add to her parchment. What she had written seemed quite dull, and boring; but she couldn't for the life of her think of what to put down that would be even remotely interesting.

She glanced up when the portrait hole opened and James made his way through, shaking his hair as he appeared to be soaked to the bone. His usually messy hair that always stuck up in different directions was now clinging to his face and water dripped down his chin. He smiled when he noticed her and walked over to the fire, sitting on the couch beside it.

Lily's nose crinkled as she thought about how wet the couch was going to be and instantly flicked her wand at him, causing a heating charm to overcome him and he shuddered as the warmth passed through his body, instantly getting rid of the cold chill.

"Thanks" he said quietly and she didn't respond but looked back down at her parchment and traced her feather quill along her bottom lip, in deep thought. He watched as her eyes moved from one spot to another slowly, her eyes glazing over between each movement.

He tilted his head and looked at her parchment, leaning forwards to get a better look at it.

"Homework?"

Her eyes snapped to his as she pulled her writing out of his sight so he was unable to read it and she shook her head in reply.

"A letter" she murmured dropping her quill and flexing her wrist.

"To your parents?"

She nodded, her eyes not meeting his and instead she stared back into the hot embers.

"Why were you out in the rain?" she asked suddenly, and he shrugged.

"I was visiting Hagrid, I promised him earlier this week" he said softly and she raised an eyebrow at him, tearing her gaze from the fire.

"A simple charm could have easily stopped you from getting wet" she muttered and a smirk played at his lips.

"Don't tell me you're worried about my health, Evans?" he asked playfully and she narrowed her eyes and shook her head at him.

"No, it's just common sense that's all. I can't imagine why anyone would want to be out in the rain at this time of night. And speaking of-"

"I didn't break curfew, keep your hair net on" he interrupted, raising his hands in defence.

Her eyes glanced to the watch on his wrist, and sure enough he was right. He was spared five minutes.

"I'm not wearing a hair net" she said finally and he grinned, cocking his eyebrow at her.

"Are you actually attempting having a joke with me, Evans?"

She rolled her eyes in true Lily style, glancing back at her half-finished letter.

"Just merely stating a fact."

There was silence as Lily scratched something down, dipping her quill back into the ink. She thought for a few more seconds before writing down something else and sighed.

"Not good at writing letters?" James asked curiously and she shrugged, signing off with her name.

"Not when it comes to writing home. There's never really that much to say" she replied and rolled up the piece of parchment, packed up her things and stood up from where she was sitting.

"Surely your family would be at least a little bit interested? I mean, it's a different world for them after all" he said with a frown and she shrugged once more.

"I suppose. I'm going to bed" she said straightening up and strode over towards her room.

"Goodnight Lily" she heard him say as he watched her close the bedroom door.

James sighed and ruffled his hair, resting his face in his hands as he mulled things over for a few seconds. He then opened his eyes, intent on going to bed himself and found a small silver bracelet with emerald stones encrusted into the small charms lying on the table before him. He picked it up in his hands and looked at it curiously, turning it around and around with his fingers as though inspecting it from all angles.

He stood up and made his way over towards her room, knocking on the door lightly. He didn't get any response so he knocked again, slightly harder this time and the door opened slowly of its own accord, and he felt slightly uneasy about being there.

"Lily? You left your bracelet out there" he said clearly, edging his way into the room.

He saw her standing over her bed with her hands clasped over her mouth and her eyes widened with fear and his heart started thumping wildly as he nervously stared at her.

"Evans, what the-"

He hurried over and stopped in his tracks, giving a small yell as he now saw what was so horrifying.

Lily's owl, Jelly Bean was sprawled across the floor with its wings all bent in odd directions and a silver knife was stuck in its chest, dry blood staining its feathers. His eyes were still open and glassy as it stared straight ahead underneath Lily's bed.

Dry blood had also poured out all over the carpet and he heard Lily give a strangled cry as her knees buckled from under her. He strode over to her and caught her in his arms, gently sat her on her bed and took one more look at her owl on the ground before not being able to keep staring at the disgusting cruelty, his stomach churning. He noticed the tears pouring down her face as he sat down beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She seemed to resist him pulling her into his chest at first, but then she finally allowed him to hold her and she sobbed into his shoulder, soaking his shirt all over again.

He rubbed her back softly as he listened to her muffled cries and he closed his eyes tightly, hating the sound of her pain as it stabbed him in the heart each time her body shuddered.

Whoever had done this was going to regret it, and he would make sure of that. No one messed with the girl he had feelings for, and they most certainly wouldn't be getting away with it.

* * *

**A/N:**

**How did you find this chapter? Was it okay? Please, please let me know because I would really love some feedback on how the story is travelling. Constructive criticism is accepted and appreciated in order to help benefit me in order for me to improve.**

**Thank you for taking the time to read it :)**

**Chapter title is the song 'Another Heart Calls' by the All-American Rejects.**

_**LilyHeartsJames **_

**Xoxox**


	6. Chapter 6

**Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial**

_LilyHeartsJames_

**Summary: **_It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between. _

**Disclaimer: **If I told you I created Harry Potter then you wouldn't believe me; 'cause everyone knows J.K Rowling did it. Unless you've been living under a rock :P Except the characters that you don't recognise are mine :)

**Dedication: **To the reviewers of last chapter, you guys really are amazing. Thank you so much for lifting up my spirits, they meant a lot to me!

**Notes: **I really do hope you guys enjoy this chapter; your reviews gave me some much needed inspiration!

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX**

**Mean**

The vibrant green leaves whipped back and forth as the wind swivelled around the grounds, the trees all blowing about boisterously. Most students were inside, protecting themselves from the biting chill but a particular redhead sat by the lake, her cloak pulled tight against herself as she shivered continuously.

Sundays were usually used for studying, but today Lily Evans rebelled against her routine, not caring for once if she didn't pass her next Transfiguration essay. Deep down, she knew this was partially a lie. Of course she cared, but right now, all she could think about was the memory of her beloved owl lying on its back, dead in her dormitory.

She couldn't stand sitting at breakfast any longer. If it wasn't all her friends continuously watching her with worried expressions, it was James Potter who kept glancing up from his cereal, keeping an eye on her. _Probably to make sure she didn't burst into tears once more_,she thought bitterly.

She felt like an idiot. A huge, foolish, absurd one at that. She couldn't believe she had allowed Potter to see her cry, and to comfort her until she had finally fallen asleep in his arms, exhausted from all the constant flowing tears.

She shuddered as her long red hair, which was in a single plait, was plagued by a lively source of wind, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on edge. Her teeth chattered, and she wrapped her cloak around her until she could hardly breathe.

_Was it worth freezing to death in order to avoid those you cared about?_

Lily groaned deeply as she realised the answer and forced herself up from the ground and made her way over to the castle, leaving behind the wind to frolic about on its own. As she neared the doors, they opened hastily as three students exited the castle, their cloaks all wrapped firmly around their bodies. She could see straight away they were Slytherins, their green and silver scarves twisted around their necks for extra warmth proved that.

As they stepped before her, she recognised them as fifth years but who they were exactly she had no idea. They sneered as they passed, and one with short blonde hair turned back to face her, walking backwards.

"Enjoy befouling the air supply, Mudblood?"

Lily was used to these sorts of comments; she heard them frequently and usually ignored them. But today she was not in the mood for people who acted as though they were high above everyone else who didn't meet their standards.

"That's ten points from Slytherin and a detention" she snapped, glaring at him over her shoulder as he turned back to his friends and muttered something to them. "I expect you to meet Professor McGonagall at her office tonight."

"Whatever" he snarled, and together with his friends they stormed off towards the lake, not bothering to look back. Lily rolled her eyes, fed up with the Slytherins antics and continued into the castle, attempting to look for her friends.

* * *

"Honestly, Padfoot, how many times do I have to remind you to ask _before_ borrowing my notes?" a very frustrated Remus Lupin questioned for the umpteenth time since the beginning of the year, and all Sirius Black could do was shrug and hand over his friends precious notes, most times either crumpled from the way he'd stowed them in his bag or covered in various foods.

"Relax Moony, it's not as though I stole them or anything" he responded with a shake of his head as he turned back to the Quidditch magazine he'd been flicking through. Remus opened his mouth to tell Sirius that not asking for permission was stealing, but James Potter was so tired of this constant argument between the pair that he interrupted before Remus could begin his lecture.

James rumpled his already messy hair agitatedly and asked; "What did you do your assignment on?"

Remus, who was caught unawares, turned to him with a frown.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your Transfiguration essay. We were supposed to choose a topic-"

He stopped talking when Remus' face paled as he began rummaging through his bag for his Transfiguration notes and Sirius whipped those too out of his pocket with a sheepish grin and a shrug at Remus' annoyed facial expression.

As his eyes flicked over his notes, his face became chalk white as he re-read the line reminding him of this assignment. He glanced up slowly, his face now blushing from embarrassment.

"I must have been distracted by the full moon last week" he murmured worriedly and James' face turned sympathetic as his friend hit his forehead angrily with the palm of his hand.

"Don't worry; we don't have Transfiguration until after breakfast tomorrow, so-"

"I need to start it now, how will I ever have it finished?" Remus demanded, snatching some parchment and a quill from his bag. Sirius raised his eyebrows, pulling the ink from his friends grip.

"Calm down, it's not due until tomorrow. You have all day and night" he reminded him and Remus shook his head, holding out his hand for the inkpot.

"I have patrolling tonight. Pass me my ink. I need to get this done as soon as possible" he responded automatically, and Sirius heaved a heavy sigh before placing the inkpot back onto the table in front of his friend.

"Knock yourself out" he said smirking and Remus rolled his eyes before pouring over his Transfiguration notes for guidance, murmuring things to himself quietly.

James and Sirius glanced at each other, and they both seemed to be thinking the same thing. They stood up from the table in the common room, told Remus they would leave him to it and left without another word. As they made their way to the Head Dormitories, they spotted the Head Girl walking their way, appearing lost in thought.

"Lily?"

She moved her head slowly, and when she caught sight of them she frowned.

"What do you want?"

James cleared his throat before continuing.

"I was just wondering how you are" he said gently and she shrugged in reply.

"I'm fine. Have you seen Roxanne? Or any of the other girls?" she asked, this time directing the question to both boys. James shrugged solemnly, her abruptness with him stinging more than he liked.

"I think they're in their dorm" Sirius explained, pointing a thumb over his shoulder and she nodded and moved past them quickly without saying a word. "You're welcome, by the way."

If she had heard them, she made no recognition.

James sighed as he and Sirius continued on their way, with his friend shaking his head.

"Evans is a bit moody today. Then again, when isn't she moody?" he quipped and James frowned at him.

"Leave it, she sort of… She found her owl in her room last night. It was dead" he informed the boy beside him and Sirius raised his eyebrows curiously.

"What happened to it?"

James' eyes darkened when he answered, it took him a minute but when he finally got it out Sirius shouted in disgust.

"It was stabbed. And believe me when I say it was no accident."

Sirius' eyes narrowed strangely, his nose crinkled in horror.

"That's terrible. Who would do such a thing?"

James sighed sadly, shrugging his shoulders.

"The entire Slytherin house? Any other Muggleborn haters? Enemies?"

"Jealous exes…" Sirius added thoughtfully and the messy haired boy glared at him.

"Evans has never even had a boyfriend!"

"Only because you chase them away, Prongs" Sirius reminded and James blushed slightly.

"Yeah well how is she going to realise she's in love with me if she's dating someone else?"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Mate, she doesn't even realise it without a boyfriend" he chuckled and James pouted and nothing more was said on the subject until they reached the portrait of Frederick the Forlorn.

"Just you wait, this year will be my year. Evans will fall madly in love with me" James told him defiantly, puffing out his chest as he gave the password and entered through to the dormitory, Sirius shaking his head and smiling behind him, not even bothering to remind him he'd said that same thing last year… And the year before that too.

* * *

"Lils… Are you sure you're-"

"I'm _fine_" the redhead answered somewhat agitatedly and Alice looked taken aback. Lily instantly felt guilty, as she knew that she was always asking Alice the same thing. Frank was still missing and no one had heard a thing.

"I'm sorry… It's just… I'm tired of everyone asking me that, that's all. I mean, she was just an owl" she murmured and Marlene and Roxanne frowned at her as she forcefully looked away from them so they didn't see the look on her face that said the exact opposite.

"Jelly Bean meant so much to you" Dorcas told her indignantly and the Head Girl closed her eyes, rubbing her temple tenderly.

"I don't want to talk about it" she muttered, lying on her back on top of Roxanne's bed. The girls gave her worried looks, but Alice shook her head at them in an attempt to stop them from probing further.

"How did your Transfiguration essay go?" Dorcas asked instead and Lily laughed hollowly.

"You mean the one I haven't even started?" she replied, groaning as she sat up slowly, running her fingers through her fringe.

The others raised their eyebrows at her, each looking as though they couldn't believe what they were hearing.

"Lily Evans, not starting an assignment due in tomorrow? I never thought I would see the day!" Marlene commented, poking her tongue out at her friend who repeated the gesture.

"I just… I should probably see if Jake is busy, he might be able to lend a hand" she said softly and Marlene and Alice both looked at each other with smirks on their faces.

"Oh, you mean lover boy Jacob?" Marlene asked and Lily gave her a rude hand signal.

Roxanne rolled her eyes.

"Lay off it, it's not like she has feelings for him" she stated slyly, grinning wickedly as the redhead began to blush profusely. "Right, Lils?"

"Of course I don't" was the reply, and then suddenly Lily had four girls move from their own respective spots and sitting down around the redhead, who was now blushing an even darker shade of red.

"_Lily likes Jacob_" Marlene sang mockingly and Alice cackled as Lily shook her head defiantly at her friends, her face heating more and more as each pair of eyes bored into hers.

"I do not!" she protested, and Roxanne winked at her.

"Oh, _of course_ you don't" she remarked dryly, sarcasm practically dripping from her mouth.

Lily sighed, glaring at each girl in turn before finally shrugging.

"Okay, maybe. I don't know. A little bit" she admitted and instantly hid her face in the pillow as Marlene and Dorcas screamed excitedly and Roxanne's cheeky smirk grew wider. Alice began to tickle Lily and she burst into laughter, gasping for her friend to stop as the other three tackled her as well, her giggling getting more high pitched as they continued.

"Please… Have mercy! Can't breathe!"

Roxanne was feeling instantly better. They had managed to get a smile on her best friend's face and even succeed in making her laugh. And even Alice was enjoying herself. The rest of the afternoon was spent talking and teasing one another, eating candy left over from the Hogsmeade visit the day before and belting out tunes to some of their favourite songs.

* * *

Jacob watched Lily carefully jot down the ideas she had to add into her essay with amusement, as she ran her white feather quill along her bottom lip whilst thinking of what to write down next. He did this quietly, as he didn't want to distract her from her thoughts until she pushed her hair out of her eyes and glanced up at him, giving him a small tentative smile.

He grinned back at her, and she quickly ducked her head back down to the parchment and unbeknownst to him, her long red locks hid her blushing face from view. She waited a few seconds until she was positive her face was no longer red and glanced back up, quirking an eyebrow inquisitively in his direction.

"How are you going so far?" he asked curiously, nodding at her work and she nodded happily.

"I think I've got the gist of it" she responded and he clapped quietly, making her laugh as Madam Pince glared at them from the bookshelf she was overly dusting. "I don't understand this part here however" she added, pushing her notes towards him with an underlined topic. She looked back down at her essay as he scanned over the notes and he nodded, meeting her eyes once more.

He began explaining the process of transfiguring a human into a couch, defining the wand movements and correct word pronunciations as she listened intently and jotted down some things that he said. He then began talking about the reversing spell, which got her confused but she was determined to get it right, so he went back over it for her again.

Just as their tutoring was coming to a close, he brought up the subject of her owl.

"I was talking with James and the guys today. He told me about your owl" he said softly, and cursed himself when the smile fell from her face. "I'm sorry" he added quickly and she shrugged.

"It's fine, I'll live. She was only an owl after all" she said with a chuckle that didn't quite reach her eyes, and he noticed that.

"My rabbit died when I was eight, so I sort of know how you feel" he replied, and she half smiled.

"Was it stabbed with a knife?"

He flinched slightly.

"No, but my younger brother who was four at the time tried to feed it bark chips. He didn't understand that rabbits only eat grass type things, not chunks of wood" he told her lightly and she clasped a hand over her mouth, appearing surprised.

"Oh, God. You must have been so upset" she said, and he chuckled.

"I was actually devastated; we buried him in the backyard. Needless to say, I've never truly forgiven him" he joked and she smiled as she began to pack her things away into her bag.

"I'm still really sorry about your owl, Lily. I know she meant more to you than you let on" he said kindly, squeezing her hand gently and sending tingles up her spine.

She nodded, shrugging.

"Thank you, Jacob. For everything" she said quietly and he nodded, helping her put her books away.

"It's my pleasure. Shall I walk you to dinner?"

She nodded and they left the library together talking about numerous silly things their siblings had done in the past, including one where his sister Kirrily started stuffing her bra in her third year, and one time at dinner she bent over to pick up a utensil and tissue fell out everywhere. Suffice to say, Lily now had blackmail if her enemy ever decided to cause trouble.

* * *

Jacob was a big discussion amongst the girls at dinner, who were begging for every single detail of what occurred during their tutoring session, one which Lily found rather pointless. Honestly, they were only studying.

"Is he a good kisser?" Marlene demanded and Lily raised an eyebrow at her friend as she shoved some chicken into her mouth. When she swallowed, her friends were still waiting on an answer.

"Why don't you ask Roxy? She knows more than I do" she replied and the others chuckled while Marlene folded her arms.

"Honestly Lily, you should ask him out. He might say yes" she told her, and Dorcas pushed her friend's plate towards her more to encourage her to eat.

"We're friends, it would get too complicated" she responded shovelling vegetables into her mouth now as the others rolled their eyes.

"Lamest excuse number one" Alice piped up and fixed Lily with a beady glare. "You never know until you ask. Anything can happen."

Lily hated it when her friends made her feel guilty, and as the table fell silent at the reminder of Frank, she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I know, Alice, I'm sorry. I just don't know if I want a relationship with him or not. He probably doesn't even feel the same way-"

"He grabbed your hand!" Marlene interrupted as if she couldn't help herself and Roxanne snorted at her.

"Who knew that consoling someone meant you wanted to date them? My have things changed since I've been in the dating world" she said and Lily grinned at her best friend appreciatively who winked in return.

"Speaking of, I noticed you and Sirius-"

"Shut up or I will stab you with this strange looking fork spoon thing" the black haired girl threatened and Dorcas laughed at her.

"A spork?"

"Yes, that. Anyway, Lily can do whatever she wants. How many love-life projects are you focusing on at the moment Marls?"

"Well, Ben and Dorcas here, Lily and Jacob, Alice and Peter, you and-"

She was interrupted by many coughing on their food as they glanced at her curiously.

"What do you mean, 'Alice and Peter?' He's not still-"

"He follows her everywhere, and he always tries to talk to her every chance he gets-"

"You'd think he would get the message that she's not on the market anymore" Roxanne cut in, no longer interested in Peter Pettigrew's creepy mission to stalk Alice to no end. And speaking of the devil, he was staring at her whilst sloppily eating some pie with his hands.

The girls grimaced and went back to their own dinner, some a little put off.

"So… Finished your assignment Lils? I mean, that is if you were working on it in the first place" Marlene asked, changing the subject of Peter and causing Lily to roll her eyes.

"I still have a couple more paragraphs to go" she responded and Alice smiled encouragingly.

"Quidditch match next week, no hard feelings if I thrash your two boys" Roxanne added, looking pointedly at Dorcas and Lily who both blushed furiously.

"You better not be switching teams!" Marlene threatened and Lily frowned at her.

"Contrary to popular belief, but I wouldn't even dream of it" she promised and was interrupted by someone standing behind her who pushed himself between her and a third year.

"I should certainly hope not. Besides, everyone knows Lily will be cheering for me" James Potter grinned and she groaned inwardly.

"Oh please, in your wildest dreams" she snapped and he smirked devilishly.

"You're always cheering in one way or another in my dre-"

"Don't even _think_ about finishing that sentence" the redhead snarled dangerously inching away from him and James raised his hands defensively.

"You asked for it. So patrolling tonight or what?"

Lily's fork clattered to her plate as her eyes widened at him.

"You're not serious are you?"

He chuckled. "Actually, love, he's sitting over-"

He cut off at the annoyed looks he was getting from every one of the girls at the table and he sighed.

"At half-past nine. Surely even you didn't forget, Evans?"

She blushed deeply, shaking her head.

"Of course I didn't, I was just testing to make sure you remembered" she answered uneasily and he rolled his eyes.

"If you say so. I hope you're finished your Transfiguration essay, it's going to be a long night" he said getting up from the table with a satisfied smirk and walked back over to his friends where Sirius and Peter were having a contest to see who could eat the most food in the fastest time frame.

"I'm never going to get any sleep! I can't believe I forgot about that and _Potter _didn't! I never forget!" she grumbled standing from the table.

"Lily, where are you going? You haven't had any dessert yet!" Dorcas protested but the Head Girl shrugged.

"I need to get a head start on the rest of my essay" she said before saying goodnight and leaving the hall.

She sighed, half walking and half running to the portrait. She wasn't going to procrastinate again. She had learnt her lesson.

* * *

"Pray tell, Mr. Lupin, but what on earth are you doing?" Roxanne asked in a condescending tone and the overworked seventh year glanced up tiredly.

"Reading up on notes for tomorrow's classes. I missed them last week, I was-"

"Ill again? Not to worry, you can't help it" she said sitting beside him and Remus was suddenly on edge, staring at her as though he wasn't sure who she was.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"What did you mean by 'I can't help it'?" he questioned and she frowned at him, shrugging slightly.

"It's not as though you made yourself sick on purpose, it was probably all that obsessive studying making you stressed" she replied giving him an odd look and she noticed him visibly relax.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just a bit over tired" he lied and she nodded understandably.

"Of course, no one blames you. And speaking of obsessive study, why don't you come join us over by the fire? You look like you need a break" she said with a smile and he rubbed his temples with his forefingers.

"I shouldn't, I have so much to read over before tomorrow-"

"You've earned yourself a break. You don't want to wind back up in the Hospital Wing again do you?"

He sighed, looking at his text books before nodding and stowing them away into his bag and followed her over to her friends where they were discussing their plans for the next weekend.

Roxanne watched Remus worriedly as he seemed a bit put out during the conversation and he yawned several times. He looked normal, not all ghostly pale with baggy eyes like he did whenever he overcame a sickness, which was quite a lot. She felt sorry for him. All the hard work he put forward must really take it out of him, not to mention the worrying sicknesses his Mother and Grandmother often caught. There was no wonder he got sick all of the time.

He caught her staring and smiled awkwardly at her before she turned her attention back to Marlene who was already planning her outfit for the post-game after party, if the team wins that is.

* * *

James Potter had been right. It was going to be a long night. She had discovered that after patrolling she needed to add something else to her essay, but whatever it was she didn't understand it properly.

She was sitting by the table once again when James suddenly walked over and sat on the couch, staring at her. She continued scratching away with her quill until she couldn't take it anymore and glared at him.

"What?"

He sighed, running his hands through his hair agitatedly.

"I think we should change the password" he suggested calmly and she raised her eyebrows at him.

"Why?"

He frowned at her.

"Why? Because someone broke in while we were in Hogsmeade and-"

Lily winced and he broke off, not wanting to make her upset.

"I'm sorry, it's just I think it's best for safety reasons-"

"Fine, whatever. So much for being impossible to figure out 'Squiggly Piggly', nice one" she snarled looking into the dying flames of the fire and he sighed loudly.

"Someone could have overheard me telling the guys-"

"Well here's a thought. Why don't you refrain from that in future?"

He shook his head at her.

"I'm not the one who was targeted here, you were. I'm doing this for your safety-"

"Well thanks for your concern, but I don't need you looking after me" she interrupted yet again and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"I understand you're upset and stressed, but there's no need to be rude" he snapped standing and walking over to the portrait, leaving her there to feel secretly ashamed of herself. Of course she didn't like being rude, she just didn't want to talk to him. She didn't like him.

She pushed her hair out of her face and continued writing her essay, rubbing her eyes tiredly. He spent a few minutes outside the portrait until he walked back in and stood in front of the fire, his hands behind his back to warm himself.

"The new password is 'Fire Whiskey Swirls'. This time I'll keep it to myself" he muttered and she frowned, turning to face him before she could stop herself.

"You always come up with the most random passwords. What on earth is a-"

"A new sweet Honeydukes has created. It's not out on sale yet though" he explained and she arched an eyebrow.

"How do you know about them then?"

There was silence for a moment, until the usual cocky grin swept over his face.

"I'm a Marauder, Lily."

She rolled her eyes and turned away from him before letting out a loud sigh and pushing away her essay.

"Do you want some help?"

She shook her head vigorously, although he could only see the back of her head.

"I don't need your help" she muttered and he kneeled down next to her so that her eyes met his and she glared at him.

"Right, I forgot. You only accept help from Walker" he murmured and she looked away from him, not wanting to have this discussion.

"I just don't want your help. Is that so hard to comprehend? Although I suppose it would be easier if you even had a brain to begin with."

He smiled sadly at her.

"I honestly thought you would at least try to be civil this year, considering we need to work together and all. I know you don't like me, but you don't have to act like a stuck up bitch all the time. Grin and bear it, we're in this situation whether you like it or not."

His tone had changed. His smile was no longer on his face. It was replaced with a stony expression and cold, hard words.

She needed to get away from him, _now_.

She stood up from the table, ignoring her books and work, and stormed past him into her bedroom, slamming her door shut behind her. Hot tears welled up in her eyes as she forced herself not to get upset about what he said. Why should she? It was only Potter after all.

But, deep down she knew he was right. And that was something she just couldn't absolutely stand.

He wasn't as nice as he made himself out to be, he was a cold-hearted prick at times; hexing people left, right and centre for no reason just because he felt like it, breaking girls' hearts constantly time and time again, pranking Lily and her friends, not to mention the rest of the school mirthlessly because he couldn't care less.

It was all a joke to him. Everything was. All he cared about was himself.

She hated him. She couldn't stand to be in the same room as him.

Her father had always told her to give the boy a chance whenever she complained relentlessly every time she came home for the summer, and he always said "give him a chance to prove you wrong. Give him a chance to show you he's trustworthy. Believe in him. He might surprise you" and she had always snorted in response and never mentioned him again during the holidays.

Was it time to finally follow her father's advice and trust him? Was it time for her to stop being stubborn and have faith in him?

At the thought of her dear father, her eyes welled up and she finally let the tears escape as she pulled a rather plump pillow to her chest and rested her head into it, allowing the tears to fall for the second night in a row.

She hoped that poor Jelly Bean was at peace with her sweet father. Wherever that was.

* * *

James didn't know why he was finishing off Lily's essay for her. He didn't know why he had been such a prick and called her that horrible name. He didn't know why she had to be so damn frustrating.

And yet, he loved her all the same. He had loved her for years now, and although it was hard for him to accept at first, he finally acknowledged that what he felt for her went beyond a simple crush.

That was why everything she said hurt him. He knew he was at fault for some things, winding her up all the time, but it was when he didn't do anything other than offer kindness and try to help that it really cut him to hear her snide remarks. He really was trying to be a better person, and he was trying to co-operate with her. But when there was only one person trying it made it difficult.

And something needed to be done. He needed to convince her to give him a chance. He was a fool if he thought that after helping her last night that things would be easier, less hostile. If anything, it was worse. He knew she wasn't happy about him witnessing her tears. She always appeared to be the strong one, always trying to keep her chin up and never break down. But he had caught her at her weakest.

He sighed, pushing the essay away and placing the stopper into her ink pot and packing her belongings into her bag. He knocked on her door silently, and the door was opened slowly and he was met with a puffy eyed Lily Evans who just stared at him.

Of course he thought something else had happened. And before he could voice this she took her bag from his hand and said; "I'm fine. Thank you" and closed the door before he could even summon up a reply.

He smiled slightly to himself as he dimmed the lights in the common room and walked into his room, loosening and pulling his tie from around his neck.

Perhaps things might be looking up from now on?

He sure bloody hoped so.

* * *

**A/N: How was that? Was it good? Bad? Okay? **

**You let me know by reviewing :) I appreciate everyone for taking the time to read and review this story so far, thank you very much.**

**Chapter song title- 'Mean' by Taylor Swift**

**I must ask you all to be patient with me as I'm getting a lot of homework from Tafe at the moment (same old story, nothing new) and I'm doing my best to update.**

**I only have this story to focus on now for a while so I hope you all really enjoy it. **

**Love always,**

_**LilyHeartsJames**_

_**XOXOX**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial**

_LilyHeartsJames_

**Summary: **_It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between. _

**Disclaimer: **If I told you I created Harry Potter then you wouldn't believe me; 'cause everyone knows J.K Rowling did it. Unless you've been living under a rock :P Except the characters that you don't recognise, they are mine :)

**Dedication: **To Simple Plan, my favourite band because they're so amazing! I saw them in Melbourne the other night for the first time and they blew me away. They honestly get me through everything with all their easily relatable awesome songs :)

**Notes: **Sorry for the gap between the last update, I've been super busy and preoccupied. But I hope you all really enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing! And all the favourites and alerts! :D

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**Starting Over**

Apologies were never easy, especially when it came to Lily Evans. How were you supposed to just walk up to someone you can't stand and tell them how sorry you were for being horrible and that you wanted to start anew?

It definitely wasn't easy.

She packed her bag carefully, pushing her long red hair away from her eyes and hoisted it over her shoulder, ready to start the day ahead. She wasn't usually so fussy when packing her bag for classes, but as she was busy avoiding the Head Boy; she thought it was absolutely necessary.

_But aren't you really avoiding admitting you were wrong? _The snide voice inside her head questioned her as she smoothed out her blouse and skirt for the umpteenth time that morning. _You know you've treated him poorly, and now you're too scared to set yourself straight. Some Gryffindor you are, very brave indeed._

Lily sighed, leant her back against her bedroom door and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the sarcastic voice inside her head. She really wasn't in the mood for the day ahead, but sitting around listening to her mind insult her all day didn't sound tempting enough to skip it.

She almost jumped out of her skin when she heard an unexpected knock at the door, forcing herself away from it. With her hand clenched on her chest to ease her breathing back to a normal rate, she opened it slowly and poked her head out, blushing deeply when she saw James standing there with a small unsure smile on his face.

_You're redder than a tomato_, her head informed her and she instantly cleared her throat, stood up straight and plastered on a smile.

"Something wrong?" she asked curiously, and the look on his face was priceless. Clearly he wasn't expecting anything less than having his head ripped off.

"I… I just wanted to see if you were awake. You've been fairly quiet, usually I hear you running around in there" he replied, his surprised demeanour fading away.

She shrugged, crossed her arms across her chest and leaned against the doorway.

"Had your ear pressed up against my door again, did you?"

He shrugged in return, and looked towards the portrait hole.

"Right. Well I'm heading down to breakfast so-"

He began to walk away, and she had no idea what came over her, but she knew she couldn't let this opportunity slip.

"James!"

He suddenly froze, his hand was in mid-air about to push on the back of the portrait when he slowly swivelled on the spot and stared at her, his mouth hanging open. He couldn't help but take in the fact that she wore the exact same shocked facial expression as his.

When she finally regained her composure (she didn't know how long they stood there staring at one another as though they were from different planets) she cleared her throat once again and stepped out of her dorm, closing the door behind her.

"I-I'll walk with you" she said lamely, and instead of him closing his mouth and responding to her, he seemed to be in a daze. His eyes had even bugged out of his head, appearing even bigger than usual.

"Potter?"

James snapped out of it almost instantly, the moment he heard her voice go back to normal he forced himself back into reality. Had he imagined her using his first name?

"What?"

"I said I'd walk with you, if you don't mind that is" she added, now suddenly hesitant but he began nodding, and she nervously made her way over to the portrait. James seemed to have remembered where he was and quickly opened the portrait for her, stepping back to allow her through first.

"Thanks" she murmured and he shrugged, letting it close behind him.

"Er… Are you sick or something?" he asked, not the question he wanted to ask but it was playing on his mind nonetheless.

She frowned, meeting his eyes briefly as they made their way down to the Great Hall.

"I'm perfectly fine, why?"

James suddenly felt awkward, not knowing how to say he thought she needed to go see Madam Pomfrey in a polite way.

"Don't get me wrong, it's not really a bad thing… But it is sort of, unusual. Did you, or did I imagine you call me by my first name? And then you thanked me, and you didn't threaten to maim me for interrupting you while you were getting ready this morning, and-"

"Listen, I'm not sick or ill. I'm… I'm sorry" she interrupted, stopping in her tracks and turning to face him as he stopped and walked back a few steps.

"For what?"

James wasn't stupid, but he was extremely confused. Here was this person that was annoyed at his very existence, wouldn't be caught dead with him unless she had to for Head Duties and couldn't go a minute without screaming at him, being polite? It had been five minutes, and her tone of voice hadn't risen in the slightest, she was walking with him of her own accord and she called him by his first name! She hadn't done that since first year.

"I admit that even though you have been an annoying, egotistical git, I've reacted a lot more immaturely than I should have. I've been horrible and outright nasty to you for the past few years and for that I'm sorry for the times I may have over-reacted" she answered bravely, her heart thumping a mile a minute and was slightly shaky. She had no idea she was this afraid of apologising. But it had been easier than she thought, right?

"Over-reacted? Lily, you always over-reacted-"

"You deserved it most times! Like when you were bullying those third years and when you turned my hair pink for a week! And let's not forget the time you… You're making this hard for me" she muttered, trailing off on her rant. She was supposed to be apologising, not flaring up at every opportunity.

He raised an eyebrow at her and her eyebrows narrowed.

"Look, I'm trying to apologise to you for being a bitch, okay? It goes both ways, Potter. There were times when you did some horrible things, and I stand by my reactions in those moments, but there were others where I did over-react and treat you unfairly but-"

"It's okay" he cut in, surprising her.

"You didn't let me finish" she replied, staring at him in an annoyed fashion.

He chuckled at her and shrugged his shoulders.

"You and I both know you suck with the whole apologising thing. So as tempting as it is, I'm not going to stand here for hours listening to you try to find the words to make you feel better about everything. I'm starving, Lily."

"Right… Well I am sorry" she responded, her face blushing a bright red.

"I'll forgive you on one condition" he told her, and her heart began thumping wildly.

If he made her go on a date with him-

"We start over, and you call me by my first name."

She sighed in relief, and smiled shyly.

"Okay then."

He grinned, stuck out his hand towards her and said; "Hi, I'm James Potter, Head Boy. It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss…?"

She rolled her eyes at his immaturity, but somehow found herself going along with it.

She shook his outstretched hand and replied; "Hello, James. I'm Lily, Lily Evans. Head Girl."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss. Evans" he answered with a wink and she laughed and pulled her hand away from his.

They stood there awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to do until-

"So is this where we hug or what?"

She sighed, shaking her head at him. He still annoyed her.

"Don't push your luck, Pot-James" she answered, blushing at the mix up of names but he just shrugged it off.

"Don't worry, Evans-I-Mean-Lily, it'll take some getting used to" he told her cheekily and she poked her tongue out at him and continued making her way towards breakfast, with James jogging to catch up to her.

* * *

"So let me get this straight. You made a truce with him?"

"Well, yeah kind of" Lily replied buttering her toast. The moment she had stepped foot in the hall with the Head Boy in tow the entire hall had been buzzing, and it made her uncomfortable.

Roxanne was still trying to get her head around the situation.

"So… You apologised and you both just started over again?"

She nodded, taking a bite of her toast and then it was pulled from her grip by Marlene.

"Hold the felly-tone; I thought you liked Jacob?"

"I-"

"I thought you hated James?" Dorcas interrupted, her nose scrunched up in confusion.

"I do! I still do hate him, God he's annoying and… Never mind. I just… I don't like being a cold-hearted bitch, okay? And for the record it's 'telephone', not 'felly-tone'. Honestly Marls, you should take Muggle Studies."

"Don't change the subject. You still like Jacob, right?"

Lily sighed agitatedly, stealing her toast back from her friend.

"Yes, alright. What does this have anything to do with it anyway?"

"Well, if you're best friends with James now it means you won't have to tutor with Jake anymore right? The whole rivalry thing will be finished with?" Alice asked and Lily laughed at her.

"Trust me, that's not over. I'm going to beat him even if-"

"Morning Lily!"

She broke off, looked up and saw Jacob standing there smiling at her. A blush crept up onto her cheeks momentarily as she gave him a small wave.

"Jacob! Hi" she replied, and Alice instantly moved over and made room so that Jacob could sit next to her. "How are you?"

He sat down in the offered seat beside her and smiled, shrugging as he grabbed an already buttered toast from Roxanne's plate.

"I'm great; keen for the match this weekend" he replied winking at Roxanne who rolled her eyes at him.

"Our team is going to come out on top, trust me" she responded as the others laughed at their usual playful bickering.

"Well I certainly hope you'll be out on top, Scott!" Sirius nosily called from further down the table and Roxanne flipped her middle finger up in response.

"Go to hell Black."

"I'll meet you there!"

Lily giggled at Roxanne's face as her eyes narrowed into slits, looking as though she would commit murder any second.

"How are you?" Jacob asked turning to face her and she shrugged.

"I'm fine, I-"

"Lily and James are best friends now!" Marlene interrupted and Jacob raised his eyebrows at her.

"Really? Has hell frozen over?"

"Well apparently I would know" Roxanne replied snappishly, glaring down at Sirius who rolled his eyes at her.

Lily sighed.

"We are not best friends, we've just called a truce, that's all" she explained and Jacob nodded, chewing his toast thoughtfully.

"So does that mean I won't need to tutor you anymore?"

She frowned, not sure how to answer that. Did he not want to?

"Well, I wouldn't say the truce stretches that far… I just have to be nice to him and call him by his first name. We never said anything about _friendly_ competition" she said thoughtfully and Jacob grinned at her.

"Great, although I'll have you know my rates have gone up, hopefully you can continue, I mean, my time is valuable" Jacob told her and she laughed, shrugging.

"How much?"

"Oh… Well I think you taking me to dinner would easily solve that problem" he answered suavely, and Lily's shocked expression told him it wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting.

"I… I'm sorry, that was inappropriate of me. I should get going to class. Bye Lily" he said standing up hastily and Lily fearfully glanced at Marlene who inclined her head towards the Ravenclaw and muttered "are you mad? Go for it!"

Lily leapt to her feet and hurried after him, leaving the Great Hall behind her and saw Jacob heading up the stairs with his friends, his shoulders slumped.

"Jake!"

He looked over his shoulder and she saw a flicker of hope grace his features as he murmured something to his friends and made his way back down the stairs, stopping right in front of her.

"Lily, I'm really sorry. That was over stepping the line; I don't want to ruin our friendship-"

"Come with me to the next Hogsmeade weekend."

It wasn't a question, and a smile spread over his face as he nodded, suddenly becoming shy.

"I was joking about you paying for it, I'm happy to do that-"

"It's fine, we'll sort it out when it gets closer. So, I take it that's a yes?"

He grinned and pulled her into a quick, short hug. She patted his back awkwardly, and then they broke apart, laughing.

"Um, I'll see you in class?"

He was nervous, and she couldn't help but find it cute.

"Yeah, sure."

He leaned forward and gave her a small peck on the cheek before stepping back and clearing his throat.

"Great, so I'll erm… See you in a minute then" he said with a small wave and then turned and headed back up the stairs. Lily's insides were squirming as she touched a finger to her cheek tenderly and was suddenly swept away in her own thoughts when she was interrupted.

"Wow, so much for _just_ friends" a voice called and she turned, her hand falling to her side as James made his way over from the Great Hall, an unreadable look etched on his face.

She blushed, not knowing what to say and he stopped beside her.

"I brought you your bag, I thought we could walk to class together" he said passing it to her and she gave him a small smile of gratification.

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you" she replied slipping it over her shoulder and he shrugged in reply.

"Are _we_ friends?"

She frowned, shrugging at him.

"I guess you could say we're working on it. I don't really know that much about you, apart from that annoying habit" she replied, narrowing her eyes and forcing his hand out of his hair and down to his side, making him chuckle.

"What would you like to know?"

She shrugged. "Anything that doesn't make you seem conceited or annoying" she replied and he nodded thoughtfully, and they began walking up the stairs together.

"Well, I have a Mum and Dad-"

"Really? How unusual" she commented, but James noticed the laughter twinkling in her eyes.

"I know it's very unique" he answered as they continued bantering the rest of the way to class.

* * *

"Forgetting something?" Roxanne asked making her way into the classroom with their friends and Lily, who was sitting at her desk talking to Remus, frowned up at them.

"… My textbook?" she asked unhappily as she ruffled through her bag searching for it.

Marlene frowned at the Head Girl and chose the seat beside her.

"She meant us" she murmured and Lily's head instantly shot up from her bag apologetically.

"Crap, I'm sorry, really. I was talking to Jake, and then Pot-James started stalking me and-"

"Oh never mind that, I want to know all about you and Jacob. Out with it!"

Marlene, Alice and Dorcas leant towards her interestedly and her cheeks went bright red, trying not to make a big deal out of it.

"We have a date for the next Hogsmeade weekend" she answered and Roxanne suddenly spun around in her chair, an excited look upon her face.

"Really? It's about time! Or should I be smacking your bottom for fraternising with the enemy?"

Remus looked affronted, and she wasn't sure whether it was due to the images of Roxanne belting her backside or of her and Jacob, but nonetheless she blushed even darker than before, matching the scarlet of the tie around her neck.

She was about to defend herself, promising no traitor qualities, when she caught Jacob's eye from across the room and grinned at him, and he winked back at her. Her eyes darted back to her desk as Roxanne and Sirius simultaneously rolled their eyes at the nauseating affect it had on them.

"Great, she's already switched teams!" Roxanne groaned and James snorted from beside her and Remus' desk.

"You realise how bad that sounds right?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at him and he smirked infuriatingly at her.

"Trust _you_ to think of something like that" she responded heatedly and he shrugged.

"Hey, Scott put it out there; I was just letting her know she should think before speaking. Wouldn't want the entire school knowing what you two get up to in _private_" he replied and Roxanne leaned over Remus and punched his arm, and whether or not it had much impact it was hard to tell. James didn't make any signs of feeling it at all.

"Watch it Potter, or I'll send a bludger in your direction next practice session!"

He chuckled and turned back to face the board as Professor McGonagall promptly swept through the door to her desk at the front of the room, causing a swift silence to fall upon the group.

"Good morning class. Pass your homework to the front of the room quietly so that we can begin the lesson" she demanded glancing around at them all with her stern, beady eyes.

That was when Lily suddenly turned chalk white and her face began to sweat as she rifled through her bag and clutched the rolled up essay in her hand tightly, not wanting to hand over the unfinished work.

_How could she have been so stupid and forgotten to finish it off?_

She slowly unrolled it as McGonagall made her way towards her, checking students' names off the roll as she passed. Her eyes paced quickly across the page, zooming left to right quickly as she came across handwriting at the bottom of the parchment that was rather forced to look like her own with slight difficulty. Anyone would think she had written it in a hurry, however, it was not her own work. Someone had written her conclusion for her, and the culprit was caught off guard when her eyes snapped up to meet his in an almost irritated fashion.

"Miss. Evans?"

Her green eyes met the suspicious ones of her Professor's and she hastily forced a smile.

"I was just double checking" she murmured, rolling it back up and guiltily passed it to Remus who raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her. McGonagall checked her name and continued up the aisle, and Lily glanced back at James who winked at her.

She forced her eyes away from him, not feeling in the mood for thanking him. She didn't need his help. Especially in this lesson.

* * *

"What do you think you're playing at?" Lily snapped the moment they left the classroom and she snatched James' arm and dragged him away from the group to have it out with him.

She turned to face him angrily, and her eyes flared up when she saw the smile on his face.

"I'll take that as a thank you then?"

She sighed, rubbing her temples.

"You can take that as an 'I don't need your help'. Do you realise how much trouble I could get into for that? If they find out-"

"Relax, Lily, they won't find out. And besides, you didn't have to hand it up. It's not as though you were forced at wand point or anything" he added and she crossed her arms across her heaving chest.

"You are insufferable, you know that? How dare you? If I need your help, I'll ask for it. And don't even bother holding your breath on that one. Leave me alone" she snarled as she shoved past him and he shook his head in her direction.

"You're welcome!"

* * *

"So, how is your new bestie?" Marlene asked linking arms with the redhead as they made their way to the Charms classroom.

"I don't even want to talk about that git right now" she replied snappishly and Marlene looked affronted.

"What's he done now?"

"What _hasn't_ he done?"

Marlene held her tongue, not wanting the redhead to be anymore riled up than necessary.

"I'm sure it's not that bad-"

"Really? I just handed up a pretty much plagiarised essay-"

Alice gasped loudly, clasping her hand over her mouth and staring wide eyed at her friend.

"Lily, you didn't?"

Lily sighed, closing her eyes momentarily. When she reopened them, she spoke to the ground.

"Well, sort of. Potter and I had a fight last night, and I went into my dorm to get away from him. He must have written up the conclusion for my essay because I'd forgotten all about it and I saw it just before I handed it up" she admitted shamefully and Alice shook her head at her.

"You couldn't have handed it up a day late and done your own?"

Lily shrugged, her eyes looking close to tears.

"I didn't even think about that, I wasn't really thinking at all to be honest. I just… I knew I shouldn't have but I'm already behind and-"

"It's okay, Lils. Don't cry, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to come down hard on you or anything, but-"

"Let's just drop it for now" Marlene suggested and the other two nodded and they made the rest of their way to class in silence, stuck in their own thoughts.

* * *

"Roxanne!"

Roxanne groggily opened her eyes and glanced over at Sirius Black, the source of the loud whisper that woke her, who was sitting at the desk beside her. His head was resting on his arms like hers and was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What?" she whispered back and he simply shrugged.

"You were asleep" he responded and she shook her head and sat up.

"So? You should have left me that way" she snapped, glaring instead at her text book which she had been using as her pillow.

"And leave you in peace? Never" he murmured cheekily and she stuck her middle finger up at him for the second time that day. However, Professor Flitwick had caught her in the act.

"Miss. Scott! That body language is appalling! Five points from Gryffindor for misuse of conduct!"

This reprimanding did nothing to soothe Roxanne's anger, and she directed her narrowed eyes at Sirius who winked lazily at her and leaned back in his chair. Her fingers twitched on the wand in her hand, begging for him to give her a reason.

"Let it go, I don't want to lose the match because Sirius is holed up in the Hospital Wing" James muttered beside her and she sighed, releasing her wand after realising he was right. "Besides, you'll only get yourself into more trouble."

She snorted, turning to stare at him squarely in the eyes.

"James Potter, are my ears deceiving me, or did I just hear correctly? _You_ warned me _against_ trouble making?" Roxanne asked, taken aback.

James smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well I _am_ Head Boy" he reminded her, staring at his textbook as though it were particularly interesting.

"Come off it, you're just trying to get Lily to forgive you" she contradicted him, and he shrugged once again.

"That may have been a bonus incentive" he said glancing at the said girl in question who was writing down notes from her own book, with Jacob beside her.

"Tell me, Roxy; what does she see in him?"

Roxanne, unaware of who the subject had changed to followed his eyes and found herself staring at her best friend and ex-boyfriend.

"Jacob? You should know, aren't you two friends?"

He sighed, meeting her eyes.

"I'm not feeling very friendly towards him right now. I need to slaughter him in the match this weekend. I think I might just throw myself off the Astronomy tower if we lose" he muttered and Roxanne's eyebrows rose at his suicidal tendencies.

"Well, he's nice for one thing; he doesn't go around bullying everyone just because he can, unlike some people" she stated, her eyes boring into his now.

He frowned at her, and then shrugged.

"That's it?"

She shook her head slowly.

"He has a good sense of humour, he's trustworthy and loyal, he's reliable, he-"

"Hey! I have a great sense of humour! And I can be trusted, and I'm loyal and-"

"Yes, James, but your idea of humour is torturing Snape and hanging people upside own so everyone can see their nickers. Jacob's consists of jokes that are funny, but aren't insensitive at the same time" she told him and he rolled his eyes.

"They aren't that funny anyway. And come on; are you honestly telling me Snivellus' teddy bear underpants didn't amuse you?"

Roxanne snickered at the memory, the small green, pink and blue teddy bears dancing around on his jocks was a little amusing, but his embarrassment wasn't so funny. Humiliating people wasn't something she saw fit to poke fun at.

"Listen, Jacob makes Lily happy. If you really care about her, you'll-"

"Let them ride off into the sunset together?" James interrupted snidely and she sighed.

"I wouldn't put it quite that way, but yeah."

"I don't want Lily to like him; I want her to like me."

Roxanne patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"Okay, as Lily's best friend, I shouldn't be saying this, but I'm rooting for you, James" she told him loyally and he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Finally succumbed to Sirius' charms eh?"

"I hate you. And _no_. This is what I'm talking about; you need to grow up and stop being such a prat. As if it's not obvious enough, Lily doesn't like you. How many times does she have to turn you down for that to get through your head?"

James sighed, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Sorry, that was kind of harsh. But it's the truth. Besides, after the comment you made, you deserved it, pig" she replied and he grinned, nodding thoughtfully.

"I guess I did, sort of. And you're okay with your best friend dating your ex?"

Roxanne groaned out loud. "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? Everyone, even Lily, seems to think I have a problem with it. I don't mind if they do, honestly" she told him and James shrugged at her.

"Well I dunno, isn't it some kind of girl code or something?"

"Potter, I hang out with the guys and am more interested in reading Quidditch magazines than talking about boys and romance. Look, don't get me wrong; I love my girls- and _no, not in that way!_ Jerk. But sometimes I prefer riding a broom than getting all dolled up and wearing makeup. Trust me; guys aren't the only things that girls' lives revolve around. If Lily and Jacob want to be together, I'm not going to stop them. He's lucky to have Lily, any guy would be. Besides, it's hoes before bros with us" she answered and he raised his eyebrows as Dorcas waved across the room at Ben who waved back at her.

"Well, Dorcas' thoughts seem a tad preoccupied at the moment, don't they?"

"Shut up, moron. She doesn't just think about him you know. She has school and homework that occupies her mind as well."

* * *

"Ben is _so _cute! I haven't been able to stop thinking about him _all _weekend!"

Roxanne sighed, covering her face with a pillow in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Dorcas had been talking about him non-stop all afternoon. It was beginning to drive them all crazy.

"Lily!" Roxanne whispered at her best friend who was leaning her head tiredly on the arm rest.

"What?" she whispered back.

"I love you and all, but if you start talking non-stop about Jacob I'm going to break into the Head Dormitory and smother you with a pillow in your sleep!"

Roxanne's whisper had grown louder and the others were staring at her as though she was insane.

"Am I annoying everyone?" Dorcas asked shrilly, fearing the worst. She never meant to annoy her friends.

"You see, sweetie," Marlene glared at Roxanne before continuing, "although we appreciate you have intense feelings for Ben, we don't need to hear about it all the time. You know? If things happen, you can tell us about it, sure, but we don't feel like hearing about how cute he is fifty times a day."

Dorcas had a look of understanding cross her face as she nodded and sat up straight.

"You're right, I'm so sorry I was bothering you all…"

They all smiled reassuringly at her and Lily's eyes suddenly averted towards the opening Portrait Hole as Professor McGonagall entered wearing a grim expression.

Lily's heartbeat shot up instantly, fearing the woman had worked everything out. She seemed to find the person she was looking for, however, and strode away from Lily's direction. She let out a relieved breath, but when she saw her leading a confused James from the Common Room her heart rate skyrocketed again, worrying she was going to question and punish him when it was she who had turned in the paper, not James.

Alice watched Lily closely and as the redhead turned back to face her friends, her stomach churning sickeningly, her eyes fell upon her friend.

"I'm sure it isn't anything to do with you, he probably pulled another prank or something" she said soothingly and Lily nodded slowly, but the feeling of unease never left the pit of her stomach.

* * *

After returning to the Head Dormitory for the night, she couldn't help but feel nervous as she hadn't seen James or any of the other Marauders during dinner that night. It was as though they had disappeared, and she wasn't sure what to make of it.

McGonagall's face hadn't held the usual disappointed, stern look, but more a look of pity, a forlorn sort of expression. It worried her to be honest; she didn't want someone to be punished over something she had done.

The portrait of Frederick swung forwards to allow her access and she entered with her eyes fixed upon the ground, thinking deeply. It wasn't until she'd made it to the bench that she heard voices, causing her to look over at the couch, startled.

The Marauders were all sitting on the couch together, their expressions unreadable. It was Remus who had spoken, suggesting they go to bed. James shook his head, his eyes transfixed on the flames in the fireplace, licking at the wood derisively.

She frowned and made her way over, a confused look on her face.

"You guys weren't at dinner. Is everything alright?" she asked cautiously, and Remus and Peter glanced at her worriedly.

"Err-"

"Everything's fine" James interrupted and Remus closed his mouth instantly, not wanting to cause James distress.

Lily, taken aback at the abruptness of his voice nodded slowly.

"Okay, well I'm going to head to bed. Goodnight" she murmured and Remus and Peter said goodnight whereas James and Sirius ignored her, both still staring at the flames of the fire.

She turned and made her way to her dormitory, glancing back over her shoulder at them once more, and frowned when she realised James' eyes hadn't moved from the fire once during the conversation.

After entering her dorm, she leaned against the door and slid down it to the ground, placing her head in the palm her hands. She sighed loudly, and when she finally looked up, she saw a note on the floor in her room.

She stood up and made her way over to it, picking the frail looking parchment off the carpet. It had definitely seen better days; the edges had been torn here and there and the note was slightly ripped, as though whoever wrote it had pulled it from their book in a hurry.

Her eyes fell upon the curved, lacy words, ones which were so familiar to her that she wouldn't have forgotten where they came from. And from one sentence, she knew.

Jelly Bean's murderer was no longer a secret.

_How does it feel to lose something that means everything to you?_

* * *

**A/N:**

**There you go, finally an update! Once again I am very sorry for the long wait, I've been super busy.**

**Please let me know what you thought, I'd really like some feedback on how I'm going with this story. It means a lot to me to know what you all think.**

**Until next chapter,**

_**LilyHeartsJames**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Love is the Heart of Acceptance; Hate is the Heart of Denial**

_LilyHeartsJames_

**Summary: **_It all started when her stupid sister made her miss the train. It all ended when Voldemort tragically took their lives. Read on to discover what happened to Lily & James in between. _

**Disclaimer: **If I told you I created Harry Potter then you wouldn't believe me; 'cause everyone knows J.K Rowling did it. Unless you've been living under a rock :P Except the characters that you don't recognise, they are mine :)

**Dedication: **To my boyfriend, because he's always there for me :)

**Notes: **Thanks very much for the reviews, favourites and alerts; they mean everything! ;D I'm always so happy to check my emails now :D

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

The golden sun rays streamed in through the windows, heating up the redhead's closed eyelids. She groaned and rolled over, burying her head under her pillow. She had had a strange dream, one which involved a note with a rather upsetting message.

She slowly removed her head from under the pillow, blinked a few times before opening her emerald eyes completely, and pushed herself up onto her elbows, taking in the rest of the room. They zeroed in on something on her desk, something strangely familiar.

She forced herself out of her bed, slipped her feet into her slippers and made her way over to the desk and picked up the piece of parchment, her heart beating a mile a second. It couldn't be…

_How does it feel to lose something that means everything to you?_

She closed her eyes tightly, squeezing the paper between her fingers so she felt her nails scrape her palm painfully. She breathed in and out slowly, trying to will away the tears threatening to fall.

This was supposed to be a dream. A nightmare. It wasn't supposed to be real…

Her eyes snapped open as she scrunched the paper and threw it back on top of her desk, narrowing her eyes at it. She couldn't let that person get away with it.

She turned and swept from her room, determined to forget about the problem for the time being.

* * *

Stepping out of the bathroom in a towel, she made her way towards her room, not even taking notice of Sirius standing in the kitchen with James until she heard a wolf whistle and almost jumped out of her skin.

Lily's mouth dropped open, staring at the two boys as though they'd sprouted six eyes and two heads.

"Do you mind?" she asked, her face heating instantly and she hurried into her room, determined to get away from their prying eyes.

"Hey, eyes off" James warned and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You going to tell her?"

James turned to look inside the fridge, avoiding the question.

"James… I think you should. It might be good for you. Besides, it'll get her off your back" he reasoned but the Head Boy shook his head, closing the fridge slowly.

"I don't think so. I'll deal with it on my own."

"You're not alone in this mate. I feel the same way" Sirius murmured and James glanced up at him slowly.

"They've been your parents since you were sixteen. They've been my parents my whole life. You couldn't possibly feel the extent of the pain I do" James snapped and slung his bag over his shoulders, pushing past a hurt Sirius who watched his friend leave, his shoulders slumped.

He sighed and made his way over to the couch and got comfortable. He would have to wait for Lily to finish her hair and whatever else took girls hours to get ready. If James wasn't going to let her in, he would to some degree.

* * *

After stepping out of her dormitory, Lily started slightly at the Marauder unexpectedly sitting on the couch unenthusiastically flicking through magazines with a bored expression. The moment he heard her clear her throat, he tossed the reading material onto the pile with the rest and jumped to his feet.

"Finally! You took your time" he criticised, and she narrowed her eyes as he threw his bag over his shoulders and waited for her to walk out with him.

"I took ten minutes" she murmured in a confused tone and hurried when he clucked his tongue impatiently.

"Come on, come on. We have a business matter to discuss" he said grabbing her arm and dragging her out of the portrait hole with him.

"Wha-Black! What on earth are you doing? What matter?"

He sighed, shaking his head at her.

"I can't give you full details, but it's about James" he answered slowly, looking around to make sure they were alone.

Lily pushed her hair behind her ear nervously, not having a clue why they were discussing him.

Sirius glanced back at her, and having realised he was still holding onto her arm dropped his grip and ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"Now look, you know I wouldn't be telling you this if it weren't absolutely necessary, but-"

"Sirius please spit it out. You're making me anxious" she interrupted and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her.

"First name basis are we now?" he mused, and she rolled her eyes.

"Not if you don't tell me whatever is making you fidget with the hole in your sweater" she snapped, pulling his hand away from the said frayed material and he shrugged sheepishly.

"James is… In a fragile state right now. He might not seem like it at times, but-"

"Why?" she asked, her nose scrunching up in confusion making Sirius exasperated at the constant talking over him.

"I can't say, it's personal. But just… Will you go a bit easy on him? He isn't in the best frame of mind right now" he explained carefully and she shrugged in return.

"If I have to. But I'm not going to let him get away with slacking off. He has duties to the school-"

"Sometimes, compared to real life, school isn't all that important, Evans" Sirius murmured and she sighed agitatedly.

"Will you just tell me what's going on? Is he in trouble, or-"

"Look, just… Be a tad lenient alright? If I could tell you, I would but it's not up to me. Oh and one other thing. This never happened. If James gets wind of this conversation-"

"It never happened" she repeated and he nodded affirmatively and they turned and made their way down to breakfast rather awkwardly, neither really knowing what to say except for small talk, for they had never really been in each other's company pleasantly before now.

* * *

James hadn't mentioned whatever was wrong with him all week, and Lily hadn't bothered to ask because she knew she couldn't go back on her promise to his best friend. However, she was watching him more closely than she usually did, trying to find something that proved he wasn't in much of a fit emotional state.

One thing she did discover was that he was messing with his hair less and less, and rather than finding him pranking fellow students, she had found him studying in the library several times, stumbling across him rather embarrassingly.

Of course he wasn't as cocky as usual, and seemed to be busy anticipating the upcoming match that was only a day away now. When Lily questioned him if he was going to bring home a victory, he merely shrugged and said they'd try. This disgruntled her, as it wasn't like him to not be a determined winner. After all, he'd consistently sought after her to go on a date with him since third year.

However, after she mentioned Jacob was confident Ravenclaw was going to win, she noticed a particular competitive fire in his eyes and he sat up straighter, snorting loudly.

"Over my dead body" he exclaimed and with that grabbed his precious broomstick from his room and made his way down to the Quidditch pitch, declaring war once again.

She smiled to herself, feeling much better after seeing the usual spark in his attitude. She didn't like him being quiet and mopey; he wasn't much fun to be around when he was.

* * *

"Remus, can you check this for me?" Alice asked picking up her essay in the common room later that night. It was a Friday, the night before the first match of the season and most of the seventh years were spending it doing homework. Well, the ones who weren't practicing last minute for the match anyway.

Remus glanced up from his own essay and outstretched his hand, beckoning her to pass it over to him with a polite smile. His brown eyes scanned over the essay, his frown lines creasing as Alice watched worriedly.

Lily seemed to zone out on where her friend needed to fix things up when the members of Gryffindor Quidditch team trudged through the portrait hole looking worn and exhausted, but the few encouraging whoops and cheers of fellow housemates met their ears and the team couldn't help but smile back at them.

Roxanne waved to Lily and indicated she was going upstairs to change and Lily's attention returned to her essay, her eyes pouring over the sentences she'd already written.

Sirius seemed to notice them and made his way over, smelling horribly of dirt and sweat as he edged past Marlene and sat beside her on the couch, sighing loudly.

Marlene crinkled her nose in disgust and leaned away from him, her eyes watering from the stench.

"You reek, Black! Go have a shower" she snarled, scooting away to another unpreoccupied chair.

Sirius rolled his eyes and ignored her, turning his attention to the others.

"You lot still doing homework?" he asked as Lily concluded her essay and threw her quill down on the table cheerfully.

"Not anymore" she announced and Alice poked her tongue out at her as she was still writing a few paragraphs.

"You sods need to get a life" Sirius commented before forcing himself out of his chair and heading up to the dormitory to take Marlene's advice.

Remus shook his head and continued scratching away at his parchment, glancing up to see Lily packing her things away.

"Jacob still confident about tomorrow?"

She sighed, leaning back against the couch and pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"It's all he talks about at the moment" she groaned and Marlene let out a laugh.

"Funny, Dorcas said the same about Ben, and he doesn't even play!"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"_Boys_" she muttered and Marlene high fived her.

"Better not let Roxanne hear you say that" Alice warned and Lily chuckled.

"She's worse I think" she replied and pulled a book out of her bag.

Peter glanced through his textbook, furrowing his brow. He'd come across something he didn't understand, and he really didn't want to bother Remus again. He turned to Alice instead, his cheeks tinging a bit as he tapped her shoulder tentatively.

Marlene caught Lily's eye and smirked before looking away so she wouldn't cascade into giggles, making the poor boy even more self-conscious than he already was.

Lily's eyes roamed over to the fire, staring into its depths as she thought about tomorrow, wondering who she was going to have to console over losing the match. Would be Jacob, or Roxanne? Or would it be James? Somehow, she didn't think friendships would be as strong as before. And she couldn't pinpoint why. It was only a game after all, right?

* * *

As usual the first match of the year brought many people from all houses; some siding with Gryffindor (namely the Hufflepuffs) and naturally Slytherin sided with anyone that wasn't Gryffindor. Lily could see the sea of blues and greens across the other side, her Gryffindor scarf blazing with the emblem proudly around her neck.

Her light grey coat kept her snug and warm while she applauded and cheered for Gryffindor as the team lined up in a circle around Madame Hunter, the long brown haired, middle aged referee. Lily wasn't usually one to really get into the spirit, but the determination in the teams' eyes at breakfast had caused her hunger for a win, something she couldn't wait to gloat about to Jacob afterwards (in the nicest way possible, of course).

Remus stood beside her, a lazy grin on his face as he wore a crimson bauble hat Dorcas had made for them to wear especially. They had all worn them out of politeness, as they were very knobbly and unusual; although Marlene had claimed she'd forgotten hers in the dormitory. No matter, Dorcas had produced a spare from her bag to her best friend who took it with a painful grimace, one Dorcas mistook for gratitude.

Although Lily's didn't go so well with her hair, she smiled appreciatively at her friend as Benjamin made his way over to them in a sea of crimson, gold and yellow, wearing obvious blue and bronze colours with pride. And even though he received several boos, his eyes were set firmly on Dorcas.

"Wow, you braved this sadistic crowd to wish us luck?" Marlene simpered, trying to shove her hat on his head with much effort to which he simply side stepped her and wound up next to Dorcas, putting his hands on her waist as he swapped to her left to get away from the hideous bauble hat. The blush on Dorcas' face as his hand made contact with her was made even more obvious thanks to her knitted hats and she quickly brushed it off her head, burying it in her pocket so it wasn't so noticeable.

Unfortunately for her, everyone already had.

"You should leave it on, it looks great on you" he murmured, but Lily and Alice heard and grinned mischievously at one another.

"Wow, I sure am cold" Lily announced, linking arms with Remus and squeezing against Alice and pulling the bedazzled boy with her.

"What are you-"

"Oh yes! It's _very_ chilly!"

Marlene seemed to have caught on, so she too squished against Dorcas, drawing her closer to Benjamin's side, causing her face to become suspicious but the others shrugged innocently.

Peter sidled up to Marlene, claiming to be cold, and Lily could see the discomfort as he leaned against her hip with a nervous chuckle, causing Remus to raise an eyebrow at the redhead who just winked in return.

"Shh, the match is starting!" someone from the row in front shrieked and their attention turned back to the game as Madame Hunter heaved the ball into the air, leaving James and a few other chasers of each team to lunge forward for it.

Unluckily for Gryffindor, Jacob seized the Quaffle first under his arm, soaring away from the enemies as he sought out his own team and just as his arm drew back to throw the big red ball it was snatched from his grip rather ferociously by none other than the Captain of Gryffindor, James.

A triumphant grin on his face, and a shocked expression on Jacob's, he made his way down the pitch like a bullet shot from a loaded gun, weaving his way between players of the opposing team.

Lily leaned towards Remus, murmuring; "is it weird to feel joy _and_ bereavement when your boyfriend on the other team gets the ball and has it ripped from him?"

"I wouldn't know I don't have a boyfriend" he whispered back and Lily nudged him, poking her tongue out at his cheeky remark.

"And Potter throws the Quaffle to Stone, who almost drops it but keeps a tight hold and SHOOTS! HE SCORES! GRYFFINDOR IN THE LEAD BY TEN POINTS!" the match commentator, Angus Saunders, fifth year of Hufflepuff shouted into the megaphone ecstatically. He was seated beside Professor McGonagall who momentarily raised her fist in victory, causing the seventh years to giggle at their teacher's supposed rivalry against other Quidditch teams. Off the pitch however, there was no prejudice whatsoever.

"Ravenclaw in possession! Black of Gryffindor sends a menacing bludger towards Ravenclaw's seeker who seems to be roaming the pitch in search of the elusive snitch!"

Lily loved Angus' comments during the game; she liked how he would use descriptive words about it, making the passion he felt for the sport take over his judgement at times, but nonetheless he loved his voice being heard over the loud speaker, which was obvious in some conversations as he didn't realise he would shout at people randomly, causing them to jump in surprise and fear future conversations. She hadn't quite gotten over the shock of their last one.

"Oh, Roxanne Scott of Gryffindor dives immaculately for the Quaffle sent towards her by her own ex-boyfriend, Captain Walker! No hard feelings there I hope BECAUSE RAVENCLAW SCORES! TEN ALL!"

Lily clapped politely as Benjamin shouted happily, clapping and whooping for joy as Gryffindor house booed in annoyance.

"Poor Roxanne" Remus chuckled as Roxanne swiped at the air furiously, waving an apology towards the Captain who flew by and shouted something at her, causing her to raise her middle finger in angst.

"ROXANNE SCOTT BRAVELY FLIPS THE BIRD AT GRYFFINDOR CAPTAIN! I wonder what caused her to do that?" Angus questioned as James flew away laughing at the top of his lungs, Roxanne trying to force the corners of her lips to continue pouting.

"And Ravenclaw in possession once again as they swap the Quaffle between players RIGHT OVER THE TOP OF STONE AND STEVENS' HEADS! That's gotta drive them wild! Potter flips LITERALLY IN MID AIR! HE ZOOMS TO THE OTHER END OF THE PITCH JUST AS SMITH DROPS THE QUAFFLE! AND IT'S GRYFFINDOR IN POSSESSION!"

Alice snorted. "Doesn't his throat get sore?"

Lily chuckled at the thought of this, as the teachers sometimes placed their hands delicately over their ears each time he yelled into the megaphone, and he was oblivious to it all. Or so it seemed.

"Stevens' with the Quaffle now, weaving neatly in between beaters Black and Wood as he does a LOOP AND HEADS STRAIGHT FOR THE GOALS! PASSES TO STONE, PASSES TO POTTER, PASSES BACK TO STONE, ALMOST INTERCEPTED BY RAVENCLAW, STEVENS CATCHES IT AT THE TIP OF HIS FINGERS AND PASSES BACK TO POTTER WHO SCORES! GRYFFINDOR LEAD BY TWENTY TO TEN!"

More cheers amongst the scarlet crowd who clapped and cat called energetically, whooping excitedly. Peter waved his red and gold flag merrily as Marlene waved towards Roxanne who gave her the thumbs up in return.

"UH OH, RAVENCLAW CATCHES SIGHT OF THE SNITCH! THE GOLDEN SNITCH! But wait! Wood sends a hard one straight into her path! Let's hope that puts a stop to the young Rachel's attempts to snag the win! Sorry Professor" he mumbled, as McGonagall tried to take the megaphone from him, but it was still loud enough for the crowd to hear. Marlene sniggered at his wording, catching Lily's eye and winking at her.

James soared over the pitch like a hawk, his eyes peeled for any signs his seeker, Andrew Johnson, may have missed as the Quaffle soared into the air towards the Ravenclaw end, Jacob hot on its tail. Abandoning his post, James flattened himself to his broom, shooting off like a bolt of lightning towards the other end, pursuing his rival. _There is no way he wins the match and the girl!_ He thought savagely as he was suddenly neck and neck alongside the Ravenclaw.

Jacob glanced at James and grinned, urging his broom to go faster as he looked back just in time for them to pull out of the way when a bludger was aimed at James and nearly hit him too.

Stone took the Quaffle instead, now heading towards the goals to take one for the team but a Ravenclaw chaser swept in, trying to steal it. Stone, knowing Stevens was below dropped the Quaffle down to his team mate who made a mad dash to the goals, pitching the Quaffle through the air and watched it soar through the left hoop and twirled in the air in delight as James high fived him when they passed.

"Well done Gryffindor! They now lead thirty to ten. Come on Ravenclaw! Pick up the slack!"

Jacob gnashed his teeth together as he flew towards the Gryffindor hoops where Roxanne was waiting impatiently, daring the opposing team to strike again as she did a speedy lap of the posts. Jacob then passed the Quaffle to another team mate who embarked on Roxanne, heading towards her at high speed. He passed it under his arm back to Jacob as Stone swooped in to attempt taking possession.

Jacob zoomed off, desperate to score another goal when James suddenly came out of nowhere, viciously punching the Quaffle from his hold on it and it popped out and soared in the sky where unfortunately the other Ravenclaw chaser caught it and advanced once again on Roxanne who was shifting slightly from left to right in the centre of the goal.

A fierce bludger whizzed right past her face as she instantly dropped from the sheer shock as her eyes were only on the chasers.

"ROXY!" James shouted out to her as he fought to get to the chaser who pummelled the giant ball into the air, heading straight for the right goal. Roxanne swerved upwards and just managed to catch the Quaffle at the tip of her fingers, holding onto the ball tightly as she suddenly threw it up in the hair and punched it towards Sirius, who in turn whacked it with his bat towards their goals.

Jacob zoomed after it, but no one seemed to notice the two seekers suddenly diving, and when Angus picked up on it, there was constant shouting and egging on from the stands on both sides.

"JOHNSON OF GRYFFINDOR SWOOPS DOWN FOR THE SNITCH, JUST AS AUSTIN IS HEADING TOWARDS IT! GO JOHNSON, GO! BOTH ARMS OUTSTRECTCHED FOR THE ELUSIVE GOLDEN BALL, AUSTIN IS REALLY DESPERATE! JOHNSON'S LEVEL WITH HIM NOW, HIS OWN HAND REACHING AND SCRATCHING FOR IT. THEY'RE MERE METRES AWAY! I CAN ALMOST SMELL THE DESPERATION OF BOTH TEAMS! AND BLESS MY SOUL! BLACK SENDS A BLUDGER RIGHT FOR AUSTIN WHO BARELY MANAGES TO PULL OUT IN TIME! AND JOHNSON COPS THE HARSH BLOW TO HIS ARM, BUT WAIT! THE SNITCH! JOHNSON CAUGHT THE SNITCH! IT'S ALL OVER! BROKEN BONES DON'T MATTER NOW BECAUSE GRYFFINDOR WINS! ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY TO TEN! HARD LUCK RAVENCLAW!"

The stands erupted as the team swooped in on Johnson, Sirius guiltily holding him up on his broom as he cradled his arm to his body, his other hand raising the snitch in sheer triumph.

"WE WON!" Roxanne screamed as she enveloped him in a hug, absentmindedly crushing his arm as he shouted and she pulled away, grimacing apologetically at him. The team slowly sank to the ground, as the other members flew a quick victory match around the pitch, raising their arms in hell bent victory and whooping.

The Ravenclaws, crestfallen and disappointed, all made their way to the ground, heads nodding towards Gryffindor politely before heading to the change rooms as the rest of the Gryffindor team began to descend with the other members.

Lily and Alice danced on the spot, their hands linked around Remus as they celebrated, cheering happily as he laughed at them. Marlene suddenly ran in and joined, making the circle bigger as Peter was also forced into the middle.

They began to chant "_we won! We won! Weeeee woooooon!_" as Dorcas turned to Benjamin who looked disappointed but found her friends humorous.

"Sorry you lost, I guess the Ravenclaw's will be throwing a pity party?" she asked and he shrugged, suddenly smiling down at her.

"Not if I know you'll be my girlfriend" he replied, his eyes staring into her eyes as her jaw dropped.

"W-what?"

"I like you a lot, Dorcas. I think you're smart, funny and extremely beautiful" he replied and leaned down, closing the space between them with a soft, gentle kiss, almost knocking her off her feet in surprise.

Just as Lily turned to include Dorcas, she suddenly froze, gaping at the couple locking lips as she squeezed Marlene and Alice's hands who almost squealed in delight if it wasn't for Marlene clamping her mouth closed.

They silently hurried around them with Remus and Peter following them down to the ground, looking back over their shoulders to confirm they weren't imagining things.

Once down on the ground and they were sure they were a safe distance, Alice and Marlene let out screams as they linked arms and skipped ahead, singing "_Dorcas and Benny sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love…_" into the distance as Lily who was walking beside Remus with a joyful smile on her face was suddenly frozen on the spot, having noticed Severus Snape making his way towards the school.

"I'll see you both later" she muttered, all happiness from the victory gone as she hurried to catch up with him, her steps determined.

"_Snape!_"

He turned, his robes swirling behind him as he snapped about to face her. He didn't have to see to know who called out to him, but her tone was urgent and despite telling him she wanted nothing to do with him, he needed to know why.

"What do you want?"

Her cheeks tinged bright red in ager as she stood before him, swiping the bauble hat off of her head and hitting him on the chest with it.

"_How could you? _My owl, you bastard! How could you do that to my owl?" she snarled, and now began to push him as he allowed her hands to shove his chest, his sallow face not betraying any emotion.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he snapped, side stepping so that in her haste to push him even harder, she flew forward and hit the ground face first.

"Lily, I'm sorry I didn't mean for that to happen-"

"You didn't mean for what? To kill my owl? To stab her in the chest like you did to me in the back?" she growled as suddenly a flash of red bounded over before she could even push herself off the ground and she swivelled quickly as she heard something solid slamming against the wall.

James had Snape pinned to the wall by his throat, his hazel eyes livid with infuriated anger as he pushed even harder into his neck, trying to squeeze the life out of him.

Her eyes flashed worriedly as she hurried over, determined to fight her own battles.

"James let him go!"

"What did you do to her?" he snarled dangerously, ignoring her and questioning the boy who was trying to find his voice but was having trouble, only rasping noises escaping his throat.

"James stop it, _you're hurting him_!"

"Did you push her? You beating on women now, eh Snivellus? I swear I'll-"

"Prongs!"

James was instantly wrenched away from the Slytherin, his best friend holding him back by his arms. Lily was amazed at the strength Sirius had as James struggled to fight against him, trying to get back at Snape.

"Padfoot! Lemme go!" James shouted, trying to push Sirius away as Lily turned to Snape who was coughing and spluttering on the ground, his chest heaving heavily at the newly found source of air.

"Leave! Get back to your Common room, now" she commanded glaring at him and he struggled to his feet and left in a flurry, his cloak billowing behind him as usual.

James was still struggling when Lily turned back to face him, desperate to lunge at Snape once again. She walked over to him calmly, and put her palm out in front of him to show she wanted him to stop.

"Calm down James, he's gone" she murmured as he slowly began to settle, his eyes never leaving hers as Sirius waited for her approving nod before releasing him. James moved towards her very quickly, startling her as she stepped back but he grabbed her by the arm, not allowing her to move. Before she could protest he gently raised his hand shaped in a fist and wiped his knuckle over her grazed lip, which she hadn't noticed before. She was shocked, not expecting this close contact with him as she noticed his eyes were now soft and speckled with gold. She could see the concern in them as he stared at her for a moment before whispering; "you're bleeding."

He let go of her arm as he suddenly ripped the sleeve of his Quidditch robes and bawled the cloth into his hand, pressing it slightly on her lip to which she hissed in pain, making his arm pull back in surprise. He gently placed it on her lip once more and she took hold of it, releasing his hand from the cloth once he was sure she was fine.

"Did he do that to you?" he asked in a quiet voice, one which was obviously laced with malice as his eyes darkened slightly.

Lily chuckled, surprised at the interaction between them as she suddenly closed her eyes, the movement of her mouth tweaking slight pain.

"I did it to myself, believe it or not. He side stepped and I went arse over face" she admitted, her face blushing at her clumsiness as a cheeky smirk found its way across his face.

"Very graceful of you" he commented, his tone no longer spiteful but now humorous, teasing her.

She cleared her throat loudly and stepped back, smiling in a weird, contorted way so as not to cause herself anymore pain.

"We should get you looked at-"

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm fine. It's Johnson you need to worry about" she interrupted and nodded towards the team which Sirius had now reunited with.

"We can go together" he told her in a way that said he wasn't to be argued with.

Lily wanted to fight back, to stand on her own, but she found herself nodding slowly and making her way over to Roxanne with James following behind her. She gave Roxanne a hug who immediately declared war on Snape at the sight of her lip to which she told her not to worry about it.

They made their way slowly back to the castle talking eagerly about the match, with Johnson still holding the snitch proudly in his good arm and recounting the catch by imitating Angus' descriptive commentary, which had them all laughing.

* * *

Jacob had heard recounts of Lily's encounter with Snape, and as he fussed over her in the infirmary she had to deny the rumours of Snape belting her around the mouth and instead claim herself clumsy.

Naturally James had stayed by her side, ensuring Madame Pomfry fix her up immediately. He had even insisted in her waiting for a few moments until he was certain she was well enough to walk back to the common room. Although she had to remind him there was nothing wrong with her legs.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Jacob asked for the umpteenth time to which she sighed and ruffled her wavy red hair.

"Like I said, one hundred per cent. I don't need the pair of you stressing over a busted lip that no longer exists" she responded, her tone getting annoyed as the two couldn't seem to get it through their heads.

Jacob smiled and rubbed her back tenderly, sending chills down her spine as she smiled up at him. James forced his eyes away from the scene, feeling sick. After all, he was the one who saved Lily…

Although as she kept telling him, she hadn't needed saving. She was merely confronting him but to what it was about she wouldn't say. She continued avoiding the question as though it were a nasty plague.

James rolled his eyes, glancing over at his team who were surrounding Johnson protectively as Madame Pomfrey mended his broken bones to many hisses and groans from the patients.

He suddenly felt a small tap on his shoulder, startling him as he turned back to find Lily rising from the hospital bed. She gave him a small uncertain smile, as though she wasn't sure she should have touched him.

"We're heading back now; are you going to come with us, or stay with the team?"

Her voice was gentle and soft, but it didn't make him feel any better as his eyes caught on to the interlocked fingers of his rival and the redhead looking innocently up at him.

"I'll meet you in the common room later" he muttered, turning away and walking towards where Sirius was standing and grimacing at Johnson's painful outbursts.

Lily glanced up at Jacob and shrugged, and they made their way out of the hospital wing together, discussing the finer parts of the match.

* * *

She wasn't sure how long they had been standing outside the portrait of the Fat Lady, but she wasn't fazed. She was enjoying being with him, and watching his smile light up his face. As he blabbered away about something she'd zoned out to, her eyes roamed his face, staring intensely into his eyes as she watched how bright they had become since he had started talking. She felt rude and disrespectful, but she couldn't help it. His eyes were just so mesmerising.

"And then there's the fact that they-they… Lily, why are you smiling?"

She couldn't help the grin from spreading, and he frowned at her in confusion as she shrugged back at him.

"You look nice" she replied and he chuckled, suddenly closing the gap between them.

"Why thank you. But that's nothing compared to the likes of you" he responded gazing down at her intently as she rolled her eyes up at him. Before she could answer, he caught her lips with his ever so gently, catching her off guard. However, she didn't pull away; she deepened the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck, tilting on her tip toes so she could reach him.

It was a nice, sweet moment, one that was rudely interrupted by none other than the returning Gryffindor team, or to be more accurate, Sirius Black.

"Aw, isn't that cute? It's so… _nauseating_" he called out to them and another member wolf whistled in their direction. Jacob parted from Lily quickly, the pair of them blushing furiously.

Roxanne smirked at Lily as they caught up to them and the redhead forced her eyes onto the ground, wanting to be swallowed whole by it as quickly as possible.

"So, what are you two lovebirds up to?"

Lily's eyes snapped up to the grey mischievous eyes of Sirius and narrowed them, doing her best to intimidate him.

"Get lost, Black" she snarled and he winked and continued walking with the rest of them as she gave Jacob an apologetic smile.

"I should go, I'll see you tomorrow" he said quietly and she nodded.

"Sorry about that. I'll meet you at lunch or something?"

He nodded, giving her a shy smile.

"I'll come over. Night" he said leaning down and kissing her cheek before turning away and ignoring the cat calls from the Quidditch team. Lily turned and headed into the portrait, ignoring the winks Sirius was giving her and hurried to Roxanne's side.

"I'm sorry if that was awkward or anything" she mumbled and her best friend chuckled at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"I'm beginning to sound like a broken record; I've told you. It's fine. If he makes you happy than I'm honestly okay with it. But if not, then he's going to be having a long conversation with the end of my wand" she replied and Sirius, who had already began chugging down a bottle of butter beer that had been thrust into his outstretched hand sprayed the contents all down his front, and wiped up the bits dribbling down his chin.

"Care to converse with my wa-"

"Don't make me punch you, because you know I will" she snapped, cutting him off and storming away over to the corner where Marlene was drinking by herself, leaving Lily to take in the common room decorations that consisted of multiple scarlet and gold banners and flags strung across the room.

"I need a drink" James muttered pushing past her towards the beverage table, snatching a bottle of fire whiskey as he passed. She raised an eyebrow after him and Sirius shook his head at her.

"Don't worry about him, you know how he's been lately" he murmured and she shrugged in reply.

"As long as I'm not dragging him back to the dormitory, then I'm not complaining."

"Lily!"

She turned and found Dorcas and Marlene calling her name and motioning for her to join and she did so, taking a bottle of butter beer as she made her way over to their multiple questions about the rumours concerning Snape's sudden 'wife beater behaviour' to which she hastily shot down saying she was no wife of his and never intended to be.

* * *

"I cannot believe I'm doing this" Lily groaned loudly as she and Roxanne held each side of the Head Boy up straight and carried him towards the Head dormitories and Roxanne sniggered.

"He's had a fair few" she grumbled, fanning her hand in front of his face as the stench of his breath wafted up her nostrils and she almost dropped him in her haste to bat it away.

"F-few… Few… Spew?"

James giggled tipsily and Lily huffed indignantly as they checked around the corner for teachers and Filch, or worse; Peeves.

"If you need to be sick-"

"Shhhhh! You're fine!" James cut in, tapping her lips with his fingers and she rubbed her mouth on her sleeve with a disgusted look upon her face and Roxanne laughed quietly at the horrified expression she wore.

"Oh Lils, calm down. It's not as though he's been picking his nose or anything… Has he?"

James snorted loudly and lifted his finger and waggled it in Roxanne's face who instantly shoved it away, her hand almost slipping and dropping her captain as she tightened her grip and Lily stumbled from being tripped up by his unsteady legs. She caught her balance by flinging out her hand and grabbing the wall, but James let out a surprised shout and Roxanne clamped his mouth shut.

"Quiet!" she hissed and glanced ahead worriedly as they paused and waited for any movement up ahead and when she was certain there wasn't any she pushed them gently forwards.

"God James, you're heavy" Lily muttered and James looked at her with a slight crease between his eyebrows.

"Are you calling me fat?" he asked defensively, and Roxanne shook her head in an annoyed fashion as she tried to pull him further but he stopped and turned to Lily, glaring daggers at her.

"Oh Merlin, of course I'm not-"

"What of it? I'm big boned! Come at me, bro-"

"_Shut up!_" Roxanne snapped, slapping another hand over his mouth and glancing fearfully ahead. She began back tracking and pulling him back with her as Lily hastily followed.

"Rox-"

"Shhh! It's Mrs. Norris!"

Lily's face went white as she grabbed James' arm and put it back around her neck.

"What do we do?" she whispered in an anxious tone and James pointed at a tapestry to their left.

Roxanne sighed before shoving him roughly inside it, and stepped back to observe how well hidden he was.

"_I can see your feet!"_

James jumped and hit his elbow on the wall, omitting a loud "SHIT!"

"Fuck!" Roxanne groaned rushing in after him and Lily directed her wand at their feet and muttered a charm, making them blend into the wall before hurrying in after them and pointing the wand and doing the same to her own.

"Lily what did you just-"

"Meow!"

There was dead silence as Roxanne held her hand over James' mouth in case he got a sudden impulse to give them away as Lily held her breath. She glanced down and saw a small shadow and wanted to squeal, but bit her lip tightly.

"Meow?"

She closed her eyes, the only body part she was now allowing to move as she waited to hear the faint footsteps of the caretaker's beloved cat scurrying away from them. She counted slowly down from one hundred in her mind, willing the cat to go away silently until she felt a light tap on her shoulder and her eyes flew open. Roxanne nodded her head towards the corridor and pushed back the tapestry and pulled James out with her.

Lily followed behind and noticed an empty corridor and let out the breath she had forgotten she'd been holding. She looked down at her feet and noticed they'd gone back to normal and the other two were waiting for her patiently.

"Nice one, Lils. And that spastic cat left not a moment too soon, the spell wore off half a minute after she'd left" Roxanne murmured winking at her and Lily blushed slightly as she took hold of James' arm and placed it around her neck, snaking her own around his waist as Roxanne had and they slowly continued their way to the Head dormitory, thankfully not running into anyone else along the way.

* * *

After what seemed an eternity, the girls had finally half carried/half dragged a now semi-sober James into his room and placed him on his bed as he rolled over and let out a huge sigh. Lily and Roxanne turned to leave but he suddenly reached out and grabbed the redhead's hand.

"Stay with me. At least until I go to sleep?"

Roxanne raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

"Well I'm crashing in your bed" she informed her shocked friend and left the room swiftly, closing the door behind her.

Lily sat awkwardly in the chair beside his bed and arranged her face into a sombre expression, gently pulling her hand from his grip.

"You should get some sleep."

He stared at her, his hazel eyes depicting a pain that confused her to no end.

"There's a reason I've been weird lately" he whispered softly and she leaned forward slightly to hear him better.

"You were born weird" she responded and he cracked a small smile before shaking his head.

"Maybe so. But I haven't been… myself" he said in a hoarse voice and she nodded slowly.

"I've noticed. Why?"

"The other night, when McGonagall spoke to me-"

"She didn't find out about essay-"

"No. Not that. It's my parents. They're…" he paused, suddenly averting his eyes from her gaze.

"What?"

She was surprised to hear the fear in her own voice, as though the pain had transferred from him to her. She suddenly wasn't sure if she wanted to hear any more.

"They're sick. Very sick."

She frowned down at his glistening eyes, not knowing what to say.

"They'll get better though won't they?" she asked after a slight pause and he laughed derisively.

"They're dying, Lily. They won't get better. They haven't got long to live" he replied bitterly and she suddenly stood up from her chair and began to pace.

"Then why are you still here? Shouldn't you be with them or-"

"It's contagious. There's no cure discovered for it, and nobody knows what it is. It's been going 'round for months-"

"But surely-"

"They ordered Dumbledore not to let me leave the castle, Lily. I can't see them. And worse still, I don't know when or if I'll ever get to. I just have to wait it out."

Lily sighed as she ran a hand through her hair angrily, turning to face him.

"There has to be a way…"

He shook his head slowly and began to sit up and she hurried over and sat beside him, staring up into his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have laid off with the responsibilities or-"

"I needed those to keep me grounded, Lily. And I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel like you had to do everything yourself. You don't know how much this is killing me just sitting here waiting for them to die without being able to say goodbye" he said softly, and he hung his head in his hands.

"I bet Sirius does" she said quietly and he suddenly looked back up at her and frowned.

"Have you been talking to him?"

"He hasn't said anything-"

"Why would you bring him up?"

"He's like a brother to you, James. And they're like his parents. He knows what you're going through-"

"He's barely their son-"

"What is wrong with you? It doesn't matter if he's not blood related. They mean a lot to him, and in case you haven't noticed, he's been looking out for you this week. He asked me to back off with the schedule-"

"You said he didn't say anything" James accused and Lily sighed loudly.

"He didn't tell me why I should. He just told me that I should give you some space. Believe it or not, he actually cares."

James looked away from her, glancing at the photo beside his bed of the four boys, smiling happily and waving at the camera.

"You're a brother to him. Don't let something like this drive him away" she whispered softly.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair agitatedly.

"I've been a real prick to him, haven't I?"

She shrugged.

"Have you?"

"I was the other day. I need to see him-"

She pushed him back down on his bed by his shoulder with raised eyebrows.

"After the effort Roxanne and I put into carrying you here? I don't think so. Besides, he passed out before we left. See him tomorrow" she said quietly and he nodded slowly.

"Thank you… for helping me. I'm sorry for being a dick. I just… It hurts" he muttered and she nodded slowly.

"I know, and it's okay. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I couldn't imagine-" she suddenly broke off and wouldn't meet his eyes as she slowly stood up from the bed.

"I should let you get some sleep. Goodnight" she murmured as she headed over to the door and gave him a small wave.

"Night, Lily. You know, if Roxanne takes up too much room, you're quite welcome to-"

"Don't even bother finishing that sentence" she replied rolling her eyes and he chuckled lightly.

"Sorry, force of habit. Goodnight."

She slipped quietly into her own room where Roxanne was already snoring away and after grabbing her pyjamas, Lily snuck into the bathroom and got changed before slipping into bed beside her best friend without waking her and stared up at the ceiling.

She closed her eyes and all she could see were James' tortured hazel ones staring back at her, the ghost of her past trauma haunting her once more as a single tear slipped down her cheek at the memory of her father. She felt the pain every day, but seeing the raw agony in James revoked feelings she would much prefer to have forgotten.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I know. This update is long overdue. And I'm sorry, I really am. I've been incredibly busy with school and homework, and not to mention slight writer's block.**

**I just hope this chapter does its justice. Let me know in a review yeah? Pretty please with a cookie on top? * I can't improve unless I get feedback.**

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Love always,**

_**LilyHeartsJames**_

**Xoxoxox**

*** Cookies are of course imaginary, unless you bake some yourself :P**


End file.
